First off - shoosh you! 'Ner you say such a thing as cancelled, changed, etc! My life is revolving around that date - I'm literally thinking in terms of before and after the trial date. So if it's changed....I'm comin' after you for cursing me!!
) As for the birth cert, I applied within 7 days of receiving custody of her with the DHS in our home county (we're dual countied with this case) for the lower-end, non-licensed stipend. That was 7-31-08. I was informed immediately that I had to provide either a BC or a SS# for the baby. Forwarded the info on, was told it could be up to 3+ months. Our county worker told me she could hold onto the stipend case until 9-15-08. Needless to say, we just received the letter today that denies our benefits because we "failed to provide documentation." Bull, but whatever. We're in the process of becoming licensed fc, but we were told we can expect to wait 6-9 mos for that to complete. Everything is done except the homestudy on that, yet we'll still have to wait. It didn't seem worth it to me, but the licensing supervisor advised us to continue since we never when the rules regarding subsidy can change. If it somehow includes little ones, I guess I have to be licensed.
We were provided with a medicaid number for her, and she's able to get WIC. And you know, as angry as it makes me, it's probably a blessing. We can honestly say that we supported her without additional funds. We supported her on our own. That must count for something at the adoption process, right?
I'm still terrified of one particular family member coming through at the last minute. She has the sibs, and she was offered this baby several times. Several times she declined, and we're now past the 30 days. The state personally has issue with her getting this baby, so I don't expect it would go through. I was told it would become a competition of home to home, and we would definitely be able to provide a better, more stable, more secure home than this family member. Still, like you say, it's difficult when you're in this limbo. I just want it over.
As for lingo, we've already begun calling her our adoptive daughter. I find I get less questions and less attitude when we state it that way. And it's true....officially in a few weeks. I get so tired of the questions; we have a bio 11 mos old son in addition to the 3 mos old baby girl. Those two, when we're out, get so many questions. "Are they twins?" No. "How far apart are they?" Eight months. And then The Look; that puzzled, that's-not-possible look that begs an answer. Sometimes they ask, but if they don't, I just stand there smiling watching them squirm and calculate. If I'm feeling nice, I'll throw in, "She's our adoptive daughter." If I'm feeling particularly b****y towards the intrusiveness, I'll throw in, "Yeah, we're happily married." Usually ends all conversation.