Originally Posted by GooeyRN
Both my mom and mil were SAHM's while children were young. MIL worked part time but had lots of family to care for her kids. Once the kids went to school, they both WOH FT. My mom supports me SAHMing short term, then part time work. She knows how rough nursing school was, she went through it after I did. She does not want to see me permanently give that up. She thinks I should work part time once the baby is less dependent on me (nurses less frequently/eats more solids) That is my plan, too, so no conflicts there. MIL does not state her opinion, but does make comments like we should buy a new house in the burbs on a cul de sac area, and fly to florida next month instead of drive (we live in pa), and buy a new mini-van. Then looks at me like she is confused when we say we cant afford that stuff. I dont know if she is taking a slam at me b/c I am currently not working or what. She always had free child care and does not seem to get that right now if I work, we either have to 1. pay for childcare, 2. me work night shift but then go 48-60 hours without me sleeping and dh getting poor sleep as baby nurses every 1-2 hours at night AND the 3 y/o still wakes at night, or 3. work weekends and have zero family time.
DH is supportive of me SAHMing for now, when the kids are ultra needy as he would have a difficult time doing overnights and bed time alone, and does not want me getting sick from being chronically exhausted. He is very anti-daycare so that is out. He wants me working part time in the near future.
I know what you mean by those looks. I get looks from people like that if I say we can't afford something. But, you know what? I also get looks if I say we can afford something.
I never noticed any looks when I worked. Now that I am a SAHM, if I say we can't afford something, people have said, on occasion, maybe you should go back to work. And when I've said we can afford something, people have, on occasion, said, must be nice to have a husband who makes good money!
Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
Really, the comments aren't that often, just every once in a long while.
I just have stopped talking finances with those people. They obviously have their own issues and sometimes SAHMs get unfairly dumped on.