what to do when your birthing partners become your tigers

[KellyandKatie]

I am concentrating on staying calm, I am a melting yeilding candle, I have a core of strength and a warm, melting yeilding - melting away with each contraction, I am sitting in a warm bath sorrunded by warmth and strength, enjoying my strong and effective conrtactions, enjoying my visulazations of my candle strength with my beautiful candle burning
knock knock "hey- what are you doing in there?"
I hum back "Im in here, Im buzzzzy"
the steam is helping my body to warm and melt to the power that is at my core as more contractions help me melt away
knock knock " open teh door, its locked, your two year old wants you"
door is forced open and DH and two year old step into my space
"MOMMY! MOMMY!"
"mommy is buzzzzy...." as I sway with my eyes shut concentrating on my warmth and calmness of the water around me
"well- (irritated sigh from DH) you can at least tell me what is going on- come on baby who is two, mommy is busy"
"MOMMY!! MOMMY!! I WANT MOMMY!!"
I get out of my warm tub and take my two year old and get her undressed so she can get into teh tub with me
she is enchanted by the candle lite tub as well and soon calms down, then wants to sing happy birthday candles, we sign to baby in belly and again I am enjoying my warm safe place, I am yeilding melting I have a core of strength - melting away with each contraction
knock knock " hey hun, are you okay? You in labor? " another family member asks
"im buzzzzy im fine..." I hum back out regulating with humming to keep my calm
"well good night, wake us if you need anything, sure hope teh baby coems tonight, we dont want to miss it"
"gooood night... "
swaying in the tub rocking my sweet two year old watching the candle wax warm and subtle as it melts away from the wick
knock knock "MOM! I want a hug and kiss so I can go to bed" says my sweet five year old
I get out of teh tub and take my candle out - and go to hug my five year old who is looking at me with sweet eyes knowing that I need her sweetness- she hugs me and kisses me and tells me that she loves me and hops into bed, my two year old flips out and begins to wail again
DH attmepts weakly to calm her, but I can see his half hearted attempts are not going to help, so I take her and calm her with the calm that is still holding me
two year old goes to sleep, and DH has fallen asleep reading to five year old, five year old wants to snuggle and is asleep in moments of me snuggling her in bed
I am clinging to my calm- trying to keep the negative feelings for the adults that I had wanted to count on for my birthing team at bay
last night when contractions got strong I wanted to take a walk, DH wanted to go run erronds and get thai food for me, we went into crowded town and conrtactions stopped, the night before, same thing, we had sex, contractions got strong, I wanted to walk more, he wanted to do something in his wood shop - I helped with that and ran to lowes with him and contractions stopped
tonight, the whole time while I was loving my contractions in the tub I had cotton balls in my ears and was humming out the sound of movies blaring in the other room
The house is quiet now, I do not want to allow these negative sentaments into my calm safe place
I am having a hard time keeping them at bay
great someone is up, they are going to ask me if I am in labor and how I am doing
anyway
calm calm calming myself back down
kick this tiger in the butt and get back to my positive visulaization and work through this
I want to just kick DH out of my cave all together instead of working on this tiger considering that 41 weeks is Sunday- in fact i want everyone out of my cave
calm calm calm, clear my air, calm , wash away negative feelings
woooo swaaaa beeeee
send me calm and relaxed vibes
positive calm warm yeilding

[janasmama]

Hoping that everyone will relax and go with your flow.

[immamama]

Hope things get better... thinking calm thoughts for ya!

[PassionateWriter]

i hope you are able to find your place. i want to thank you for posting....adults in our birthing space need to understand this issue. its very important.

i hope you hold your baby soon.

[boobyfeeder]

Oi, I can't even imagine that amount of invasion. I got tears in my eyes though picturing you rocking with your 2 year old and your 5 year old wanting kisses and hugs. Perhaps you need to have a sitdown with your adult support and explain to them exactly what you need, and that asking you if you are in labor yet does not help!

[LegalScrapper]

I hope today and tonight is better.

I have resorted to turning on the bathroom vent/fan - it blocks out a LOT of noises and those knocks on the door.

I also have resorted to locking the bathroom door. My husband knows how to pick the lock if he needs too - but it keeps my daughter out.

I also tell my husband before I get in the tub - I NEED x amount of time without any interruptions.

Sometimes these things help, so thought I'd throw them out there in case you can use any.

Sending nice, peaceful, UNINTERRUPTED bath vibes to you!

[SkyMomma]

Thank you for this thread & sharing the beauty & frustration of your labor with us. Sending you peaceful calm vibes, and prayers that you get exactly the kind of support you need as your birth progresses. Although, honestly, I'm in awe of your focus & calm & hope that I'm able to open to the same, no matter the distractions. Blessings.

[Mamato3wild ponnie]

I can understand what your going through, while i was in labor my younger sister gets death pains in her mouth...calls me crying what should i do....hello..if my ctx's stop because your crying over your tooth...i'm kicking your a%^. But you know what my ctx's kept coming. So when your body is ready..those ctx's will keep coming. Just know that what your body is doing now is work in progress. It is preparing your body..even though you dont feel like it. Just relax as much as possible and enjoy your little ones...because in a few days you will be running on limited energy and your main focus will be baby. Give them that TLC now as your able. Big hugs mama....know that baby is working on entering the world and will be in your arms very soon.

[KellyandKatie]

I made all the adults who are here read chapter 31 of Birthing from Within-- the chapter about labor ettitquite
Thank you for the support and wisdom mamas- it really helped to vent, still nothing with baby- but it really really does help to hear a confident baby will coem when baby is ready and NOTHING will stop contractions when it is their time- thank you!

[neshamamama]

I hope that you are a writer...that was really beautifully written...