Originally Posted by jennifer_lc1
and also, i know a few kids that were EBF for 2+ yrs, still had earaches, colds, and run of the mill normal kid things happen, so saying that the kid is always less ill is not true..
I was nursed until I was 4 (though not EBF), and I was very sickly and still am. And all I can think is *how much WORSE would it have been if I hadn't been nursed or nursed for so long*. I get frightened when I think about that.
OP, I have a friend who is wonderful in many ways, but for her, surgical birth is normal and formula is normal. Those are what she had, and those are what she has *always* planned for her babies (and is what her 10 month old has experienced).
But I can't bring myself to judge her for it, and keep myself to just feeling sad for the baby.
Why can't I judge her? Because she was one of two IRL people who saved my life after having an unexpected, unneeded, coerced and forced c-section. She always listened to me, heard me, helped me, empathized with me. She somehow understood how awful horrible sickened I felt, even though it was the normal way of having a baby in her opinion (and family). She saved me. And she *never* said anything about my nursing, even when I was her bridesmaid when DS was 9 weeks old, and I had to bring hubby and son to the church with me, and was called away every hour or so to nurse DS. She wanted us there at noon, the wedding was at 6. I did what I had to do, even when she insisted we get dressed in our gowns HOURS before the wedding, so I had to strip to the waist to feed DS. She let everyone know that the "quiet room" overlooking the main church room was "mine" before the festivities started, so I could feel comfy and safe nursing my boy. Even though it was one of the most foreign things she could think of.
So I understand the "why why why" feelings, especially b/c this friend had breast reduction surgery, her surgeon told her afterwards that he spent extra time being extra careful so that someday she could nurse a child, and she told him that he shouldn't have bothered.
And just this week we had to wonder if she possibly thinks "if only I had nursed" since they were in the hurricane, and despite having everything else they needed, she and her SIL had to run out (they are in Houston, not the coast) for formula (and diapers). All we could think was "why did they prepare with enough food for the friends and relatives hunkering down at her house, but not enough formula for her girl???"
But I still can't truly judge her, mainly b/c she never judged me.
Since she's the only person where I know the full story, she's the main one I think of.
OH, and she has *major* food issues and when she has a food problem it sparks a huge anxiety attack, so she has to keep various drugs for her problems, and I can't help but wonder why she didn't see the connection, but she didn't and doesn't seem interested in thinking about it, so oh well.