Angry at someone for ff'ing - Page 6

[Cherry Alive]

Originally Posted by pookel

But you know, even if you have a scheduled induction or c-section, it's not like you can just pick any day you feel like, for the heck of it. You're considering the due date, your own schedule, your doctor's schedule, the day of the week. There's not usually a wide range of options. And I'd think it was pretty weird if a friend expected me to turn down my first choice of dates for a planned c-section just because HER kid already had that birthday.

Really? I'm surprised. I know scheduling surgery can be tough, but at the OB's office I went to, they offered a number of dates. They were still around the doctor's schedule, but I could chose a day. Of course, that was for polyp removal (very uncomplicated surgery compared to a C/S), and I have never had a C/S before so I don't know if those work any differently as far as advanced scheduling. Still, it seems like it could vary from office-to-office.

The way I read it, I was under the impression her friend chose the dates deliberately so their kids would have bdays together.

It is an odd coincidence, isn't it? Especially as *both* of their two kids share a birthday. I could see how conflict come come of it (regardless of how it came to happen). I can't blame her for feeling hurt about it.

I think if I had a friend who's kids shared bdays with my mine (and we shared a group of friends), I'd at least see if we could come to some sort of compromise where we could have different dates for holding big parties every year. We could both celebrate our kids' bdays on their days (with a small family celebration), but do the the big parties on different dates—a week or two apart. That way neither of us miss out on guests, and we could also invite each other.

Originally Posted by claddaghmom

I only wanted to bring up a different perspective here, as I have a feeling the OP's post might have been misunderstood.

I think the OP was very brave to start the thread. She wanted to explore how not to get so upset about her friend for FFing (even though she had valid reasons for feeling frustrated), and was asking for advice and support. There's nothing wrong with that at all.

What has been hurtful to some is the anti-FFing tone that has come from a couple other posters here. That said, I respect everyone's openness and honesty.

I think if we can openly share our experiences and feelings to discuss why we feel certain things are wrong—versus accusing or name-calling—it makes for a very interesting discussion.

[DariusMom]

Originally Posted by Red_Lil_Mamma

I think the OP was very brave to start the thread. She wanted to explore how not to get so upset about her friend for FFing (even though she had valid reasons for feeling frustrated), and was asking for advice and support. There's nothing wrong with that at all.

What has been hurtful to some is the anti-FFing tone that has come from a couple other posters here. That said, I respect everyone's openness and honesty.

I think if we can openly share our experiences and feelings to discuss why we feel certain things are wrong—versus accusing or name-calling—it makes for a very interesting discussion.

ITA.

[kimiij]

Originally Posted by trancechylde

Firstly; :

Like I said. We all agree how wonderful and beneficial breastfeeding is, but let's not get carried away. I'm not a doctor or anything, but I highly doubt that this child's leukemia would have been prevented by breastfeeding.

Sounds like you're not up to date on your breastfeeding research.

Yes, breastfeeding is linked to lower rates of leukemia.

Think about it. You're raising a human infant not on milk that is nutritionally perfect but rather on milk based off of a cow - milk for a baby cow not a human baby that is developing. There are going to be consequences.

[Sprungthe2.50]

Originally Posted by MPJJJ

Are you serious? "Stole your kids' thunder"? Do that own that day or something???

Also on that note, if you don't exactly hang out with her, why would she be familiar with your kids birthdays? Or even if she was, if she's not that close to you that it would motivate her not to? I wouldn't really care if someone I only casually knew had a kids with birthdays on potential due dates that I would decide not to go with those days if they were better for me....

[robertandenith]

Originally Posted by pookel

But you know, even if you have a scheduled induction or c-section, it's not like you can just pick any day you feel like, for the heck of it.

didn't want to go OT here but yes you can!!! with my first, my OB asked me if I wanted to have my child the day of my bday. We even tried! I was induced the day before my bday but she came the day AFTER my bday. So yes, it's definitely possible

[robertandenith]

Originally Posted by kimiij

Yes, breastfeeding is linked to lower rates of leukemia.

Think about it. You're raising a human infant not on milk that is nutritionally perfect but rather on milk based off of a cow - milk for a baby cow not a human baby that is developing. There are going to be consequences.

WOW!

[trancechylde]

Originally Posted by kimiij

Sounds like you're not up to date on your breastfeeding research.

Yes, breastfeeding is linked to lower rates of leukemia.

Think about it. You're raising a human infant not on milk that is nutritionally perfect but rather on milk based off of a cow - milk for a baby cow not a human baby that is developing. There are going to be consequences.

See, it's this kind of attitude that gets people up in arms in dialogues like this one.
Nobody here is denying that human milk is the best thing for human babies, or that breastfeeding has been shown to reduce the risk of certain diseases. So in your line of thinking, this child got leukemia because it did not receive human milk? Really?

There are going to be consequences.

This is just not true. Millions of babies all over the world were brought up on formula and are happy healthy adults. NOT that I'm advocating formula feeding. I'm just saying blanket statements like this are not helpful to anyone.

I HAVE thought about it. Please don't use this dismissive tone with me.

I was actually originally implying (if you read my posts) that I thought this line of thinking was just inappropriate in the midst of a family illness involving a child. My point was not the leukemia/breastfeeding link or debating if it was in fact true.

Yes there have been studies showing statistics of breastfed babies having or not having leukemia, but really, are we sure that if someone is genetically pre-disposed to having cancer, that breastfeeding is going to PREVENT that cancer from becoming active?
I'm not convinced.
THAT IS TO SAY, I am NOT stating either theory as a fact, I'm just saying from the research that I have seen, I have not personally come to this conclusion.