I don't want to lose my OB/GYN, but I'm having a homebirth

[KarinaGrace]

I've moved since the births of my other children, and I've since found a wonderful OB/GYN that I don't want to lose. I'm not sure what to do. I could just not see her during this pregnancy and go back after the birth and not tell her, but it seems like my doctor should have my full health history. I'm really afraid that if I go to her and tell her about the homebirth that she'll fire me. I wouldn't mind seeing her a few times during this pregnancy, I do want an ultrasound and my midwife will be a COM who can't order those. I have no interest in doing shadow care though.

Has anyone been in this situation? What have you done?

[notjustmamie]

Have you talked to your OB about her views on homebirth? Some would be fine with the idea, whether or not they would do it themselves. If you haven't already, I would go in for a prenatal visit and mention that your considering the idea of homebirth, just to see her reaction.

If you've already talked to her and know she's against it, you need to decide what's best for you. Does your midwife have a back-up OB who could order a U/S?

Also, I don't mean to sound harsh (but I probably will), but do you really want to continue to see a care provider who is disrespectful of the educated choices you make regarding your own/your family's health? If it were me, no matter how much I liked the OB as a person, I wouldn't be able to continue a professional relationship with her if she couldn't support me in making my own decisions (whether or not she agreed with them).

Good luck as you consider your options and make your own decisions!

[nashvillemidwife]

I could never see a doctor who would fire me from her practice over my personal choices. That would be like marrying a man who would divorce me if I voted differently than he. That relationship has to be built on mutual respect, and if she would really behave that way then she has none for you. I would do what I need to do, and if she has a problem with it cross that bridge when you come to it.

[Full Heart]

Sometimes it not about personal choice. Some drs can't see hb patients because of insurance problems. IOW their insurance would drop them or their hospitals insurance will refuse to insurance the hospital if they saw hb patients. If you dr doesn't have this problem then as nice as they are nice doesn't make for an open mind. They need to respect your decisions and this might not be the only thing they don't respect you on. I would consider talking to her and finding out her stance. Then deciding from there what you want to do. You don't even know what she feels about hb.

[hollycat]

my doc is fine with HB, as are lots of docs i know. just ask! are you using a mw? many ob's have relationships with mw's.

[ColwynsMommy]

I'd definitely talk to her. That's what I did with my wonderful OB/GYN. I saw her up until 20 weeks (after the ultrasound), at which point I told her that we were switching providers to have a homebirth. Thankfully, she was totally okay with it and said I was a great candidate (previous super-easy births, healthy, etc). The only thing she seemed worried about was whether or not I was unhappy with the care she had provided me, and I reassured her that I was very pleased with my care, I just wanted something different this time.

When I went back to see a covering CNM for a nursing issue, she popped in to say congratulate me and cuddle the baby. I'm seeing her for my annual on Wednesday and I can't wait to chat about how great the birth was.

I really wasn't sure whether or not she'd be supportive, but I value our relationship and didn't want to risk losing her trust/respect (because it's a two-way thing, y'know) by not telling her. Thankfully she was totally on board.

Like others said.. if she's rude and obnoxious, you probably don't want her as a caregiver.. but you owe it to yourself and to her to bring it up. Give her the chance to surprise you.