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Other Mom's Being Mean... - Page 2

post #21 of 104
Keep your eyes and heart locked in on how you want to bring your baby into the world, mama. You CAN do it! One thing that helped me prepare for giving birth was to watch videos of other women birthing naturally. I'd sit on my birthball and cry as I watched some births--it was a way for me to get out my fears and know that I too could birth my baby on my own terms, with full awareness and sensation. Your midwife likely has a library of DVDs if you're interested.
post #22 of 104
I just hate how words can start to mess with emotions.

You can do it, Mama!! :cheeringyouon:
post #23 of 104
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by treespeak View Post
Keep your eyes and heart locked in on how you want to bring your baby into the world, mama. You CAN do it! One thing that helped me prepare for giving birth was to watch videos of other women birthing naturally. I'd sit on my birthball and cry as I watched some births--it was a way for me to get out my fears and know that I too could birth my baby on my own terms, with full awareness and sensation. Your midwife likely has a library of DVDs if you're interested.
Thank you so much. Did you go on to have a natural birth? I've watched about every natural birth there is on youtube and read Journey Into Motherhood and Ina May's Guide to Childbirth twice. I hope that it helps in the end.
post #24 of 104
Quote:
Originally Posted by micah_mae_ View Post
I know, it just hurt my feelings. I feel like no one believes that I can do it. I'm starting to doubt myself...
if they admit that its not that difficult to have a natural, unmedicated birth, then it means they failed (in their minds, not mine...).

im just saying that i dont think this should make you feel anyway...other than maybe feel sorry that they have bought into the fear of child birth.

ive had 2 managed births and one vbac naturally..i can tell you that my natural birth was sooo much more satisfying.

do your research and make sure you deal w/ your feelings and fears prior to the birth...dont let the petty comments designed to make these women feel better about their births affect you.
post #25 of 104
Goodness, I hate it when people say things like that. Of course you can do...and, since you were in church at the time, I think you should have said something like, "I am confident that my body is able to work in the way God intended it too. I'm quite sure Eve didn't have an epidural."

There is a wonderful cd out that really helped me get my mind wrapped around natural child birth and that I could do it. I'll see if I can find it. It would be perfect for you right now. I actually have an extra one, but I'm hard pressed to find in. I'll be back.
post #26 of 104
Quote:
Originally Posted by micah_mae_ View Post
Thanks ladies...I know I'm going to do it. I'm just getting more terrified of the pain.
YOU CAN DO IT. You can. Really. I have a very low pain tolerance - I've even had dentists and estheticians comment on it! (getting my eyebrows waxed is hell!). BUT I did it. I birthed naturally. You can too!
post #27 of 104
Quote:
Originally Posted by earthmama369 View Post
I got those comments a lot, too. And I did go on to have two natural births. I don't think those comments had anything to do with you personally. They were addressing their own feelings and experiences, not yours.
Yeah to the above exactly.........I also had two natural births. You can do it!!!!!!!!!!!:
post #28 of 104
I recommend reading Birthing From Within.
post #29 of 104
Just here to chime in and say YOU CAN DO IT! I'm a wimp and I did it twice. When its time to birth your child your deepest strongest self will rise up and take care of business! It will be the most amazing transformative experience of your whole life! I will wish for you to have a quick and easy birth, but even if its not easy or quick, you can and will do it!!!!:
post #30 of 104
Oh, you can totally do this. I had zero support (other than my mom and DH) for my plans to birth naturally. I heard every negative comment in the book. Over and over. But I did it! And it was wonderful - the most amazing experience of my life. I'm so glad I didn't allow those nay-sayers to take that from me. And you know what? After I had the birth I wanted, everyone SHUT UP. Next time I won't have to worry about others telling me what it will be like, because I've done it and they haven't.
post #31 of 104
Quote:
Originally Posted by janefriar View Post
I recommend reading Birthing From Within.
Second that. I'd also add Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. Ina May Gaskin noted that labors were shorter once women had voiced and dealt with their fears. It's even better to get this out of the way before labor.
post #32 of 104
Quote:
Originally Posted by micah_mae_ View Post
Thanks, I like to think that I'm prepared. But I can't think of how to be. I read natural birth stories and watch hundreds of birth videos. I don't know how to practice birth! Any advice?
creative visualization is a technique i read about in several places.... iknow gayle peterson has a chapter on it in birthing normally, but basically you just visualize yourself birthing naturally in a very very vivid way.......kind of fell your muscles doing it while you visualize it

theres also a practice technique in birthing naturally the bradley way

two more good ways to practice

one when you have braxton hicks contractions, pretend its a labor contraction....relax and breath through it, put yoy hands on your belly and feel where the muscles are working

two.... when you poop, breathe it out just like you will the baby practice feeling your muscles work all by themselves, you know how when you poop its almost involuntary asside from maybe a little push at the end? having a baby can be very similar

hth
post #33 of 104
In a hospital where you don't stand up for yourself and allow them to do interventions that complicate your birth, it can make it more painful. Trust your body and you will do just fine!! Your body knows how to birth and don't let any doctor, nurse, friend, relative, stranger at the store, etc, convince you otherwise!!
post #34 of 104
I heard it tons of times... Even after I gave birth, without epidural, other mothers rolled their eyes at me and called me crazy. Oh boy who cares, important is that you do what you want and get what you want. Of course at some point in labor many people say oh gosh I want pain relief, I certainly said so, but that's why I had DH with me (any support person will do) to encourage me and go through with it. I knew that I might cave since I hate pain, but like I said, that's why my strong DH was my back up plan and it worked... He talked me through the pain and out of the pain meds...
post #35 of 104
I got plenty of comments like that when I was pregnant with my first child, and that just motivated me even more to prove them wrong and have my unmedicated birth. Now that I've had three of them, some of the same people act like I have some sort of superhero status, which makes me equally uncomfortable. I guess I'm hard to please!
post #36 of 104
I got those comments while pg with DD1. I will say that when I was pushing, I focused on those comments and kept telling myself that I could do, I was strong, I would show them, women had been doing it for thousands of years, etc... And it worked for me. Good luck.
post #37 of 104
Is this your first child? It seems like we mothers just LOVE to share our experience with the inexperienced. Especially since the inexperienced are at a disadvantage. They can't defend themselves about something they have not yet done. It's very unfair. And I try to remember that now when talking to a newly pregnant mom. I try NOT to tell her how it's going to be, because frankly, my experience has nothing to do with what she will experience.

Last week, an "experienced" mother saw my 39 week belly and when she heard a little baby crying out in the hall, she told me that that's what I have to look forward to for a long time. I thought to myself that if I didn't already know that (I have a four year old and a one year old), I would feel really discouraged and a little bit demeaned by her comment. When I told her I have already been there, her manner changed to a fellow mom. I think it's just a tendency of mothers some times. Just remember that it doesn't reflect on you or what your experience will be.

As far as worrying about the pain, remember that many mamas have natural childbirth and then CHOOSE to do it again...and again.

And one more thing to remember is that when a mama hits transition, many many times she says she wants something for the pain. When and if that happens to you, remember what it really is: transition. You're almost done! And you CAN do it naturally!
post #38 of 104
Quote:
Originally Posted by micah_mae_ View Post
Someone said something about getting an epidural. I replied that I'm going to have a natural birth, with no medications.
And they laughed at me. They laughed and said "yeah, good luck."
I was embarrassed, I felt naive. So I tried to justify myself. I said "women have been having babies for thousands of years. My mother, grandmother, aunts and cousins have all had multiple natural births. I'm not worried about my ability to give birth naturally."
My friend said, "yeah, I was cocky too."

Because of this conversation, I am now terrified where I used to be confident. I'm anxious where I used to be calm. I need reassurance. Someone please help me...
Big, huge, confidence-building hugs to you! My best advice is, find a mantra that really resonates with yourself and keep repeating it in your head every single time you hear someone say something like this.

Don't you let the Big Mouths of the world trespass on your birthing experience. I know you can do it, and so do you.
post #39 of 104
I had those comments too with baby number 1. And since it was so uncommon at the hospital too, to have a natural labor, I got the unbelieving shrugs and the "it's still not too late.... if you change your mind...." from the nurses.

I started doubting myself, because of everyone (except my mom) acting like I was attempting the impossible. So I got a dose of staydol because I let them make me afraid of the pain.

But it turned out that It wasn't more than I could handle after all. The drug sucked and made me sick, and I realized, thinking back on my birth like, "That wasn't so bad, except for the sickness from the drug...." So DD2 was born without any pain-meds at all! Because I knew it wouldn't be so terrible after all, I'd already done it once!

And after you do it once, people (who know) don't say stuff like that anymore. And it's on your "record" after that, so even the nurses don't act like it's impossible. You won't have to deal with it so much again!

You can do what ever you believe you can do!

Don't let the personal fears of others affect you! You can do it, because you've decided to do it! :
post #40 of 104
You know what's sort of fun, mama? I don't know if you're planning on having a second child or not, but I've really been enjoying the following kind of scenario: someone who doesn't really know me asks what kind of birth I plan on having, and I tell them, and they scoff... then I smile sweetly and say "I'm not worried about it. Natural birth went fine with DD1."

I guess this appeals to me because they start out thinking I'm cocky for daring to think that I could handle a natural birth, but then they might realize that they're a little cocky for making assumptions.
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