They got to me!!

[Montse]

My midwife is pressuring me (even she insists she's not) into a c-section Wednesday, the 24th. In fact, she had one of the OB/GYNs talk to me during my regular check up on Thursday. I knew that would happen. I just knew it! I’ve been fighting her tooth and nail on my big baby issue. The OB said she had two c-sections and because my baby is sooooo big, it's best I seriously consider it. She passionately expressed grave concern over the myriad of risks involved with delivering a big baby. ARGH! Today, I went in for a very long NST and the nurse said she recommends a c-section too because I'm not dilated therefore my baby must not be engaged because she's too darn big to engage! My husband asked why hospitals and doctors push c-sections and she simply said, "attorneys." According to the International Cesarean Awareness Network, big babies are not a valid justification for c-sections. They pulled the stillborn number on me and countless other scare tactics and I have to say, I feel I failed in every way possible. All I want is a natural, gentle birth but they are convinced it isn’t possible for me.

For my next pregnancy, I am NOT going to go with a certified nurse midwife who works with a practice of OB/GYNs but a certified professional or nurse independent homebirth midwife. I got put on the obstertrical assembly line machine - potential problem alert, let's section her! Even though I have regular contractions and my baby is very active, she just won't slide down far enough and I haven't started active labor. I wanted to push back my c-section date to next week and they said no. Again, more scare tactics if I go over 41 weeks. Her fluid levels are great, she is getting plenty of blood from her umbilical arteries, she's active, my placenta is in great shape, I walk 3.5 miles almost every day, and I’m doing really well. Apparently, it's just not good enough!

I'm trying to make peace with this and reading the birth stories on our DDC keeps me sane. It makes me happy other mothers are getting the birth experiences they want. At the end of the day, I get to bring home my baby girl and what more can I hope for. I’m tired of fighting them and I’ve caved in to the pressure. I keep hoping I go into active labor before Wednesday so I can at least try for my natural birth!

[joshs_girl]

How big are they saying she will be?

[hollycat]

sweetie, they're only scare tactics if you believe them, otherwise they are just meaningless information. if you really think they are wrong, get more opinions til you get one you like.

no one can force you to believe anything. they arent injecting "believe the lie" serum into your brain. its information. if you believe it, go with it, and have a great birth. if you dont believe it, find someone who agrees with you, do it another way, and have a great birth.

[earthmama369]

You don't have to go to the hospital on the 24th. Just stay home.

I gave birth to a 10 lb. 4 oz. baby, at 41 weeks, naturally. I tore less than I did with my 7 lb. 12 oz., 38 weeker. You CAN do this.

[whalemilk]

All I can say is listen to your own instincts. I personally went along with such a recommendation because, having already had one baby over 9 lbs at term, I could tell that this baby was way huger and things just didn't feel right. Even when I went into labor, it didn't feel right. I was given the choice at the last minute to attempt vaginal birth in the OR, and I freely chose the section because it just didn't feel right. Turns out...my 37 weeker was over 10 lbs and had shoulders significantly larger than her head. So I feel I chose right.

BUT for you, the opposite might be the right choice. You just have to listen to what your instincts and knowledge of your body and pregnancy are telling you, and hold strong. It is a hard choice to make either way, because either way someone is going to fault you for it. You just have to hold strong to what you know.

[Montse]

Originally Posted by joshs_girl

How big are they saying she will be?

10 pounds 4 ounces. The funny thing is the pernatologist said they always overestimate weights, so basically, they don't really know. He said she's probably in the 9 pound range. I don't think she's that big because I feel her move constantly and actually watch my belly's dramatic undulations all day. I didn't think such a big baby would have much room for all that activity!

[spanica]

and lots of :

Do what you think is right. Please don't let them pressure you into something you feel is wrong for you and/or your baby! Strength, mama!

[kangaroomum25]

I'd get a new mw asap, or just not have one at all. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=roFVkDV45MM Another mom of a big baby here, 10lbs 2 oz, no tears. You do not have to go in, stay home avoid that first cut! They're notoriously inaccurate on weight.

[Marcela]

I'm dropping in from October.... Just want to say that I'm a doula and childbirth educator and have seen this situation about 10 or so times (with people I know personally) in my career. I have also seen women switch to a homebirth midwife at the very last minute. In once case, at 41 weeks. You really have to decide if that would be a way more stressful situation for you, and if it is - bag that idea. You also have to consider where you would end up for backup medical care if you did need to transfer, and will you have burned your bridge. I just wanted to throw it out there because anything is possible. I've certainly seen it, and seen it work! I have also seen huge babies be born vaginally. I can be done!!!!

Best of luck, which ever way you go. If you go ahead with the cesarean birth, I hope you find some peace before you go in. It is really a huge leap of love no matter which way it happens!!!

[hollycat]

i just want to gently suggest here that its totally natural that you might be scared and thats okay. but i think you should take responsibility - whatever you decide. take responsibility for choosing to have a c section. take responsibility for not having it. take responsibility for being scared. take responsibility for caving in. take responsibility for standing firm, for getting another opinion.

its easy to get overwhemed. if thats where you are, take responsibility for being overwhelmed! if youre not able to take responsibility for your own feelings and decisons, "they" whoever they are, docs and mw's now, teachers and co workers and in laws and whoever else later, will be able to make you do whatever they want you to do.

dont lose your own personal power along with the birth you want. whatever you decide to do is far less important than that YOU decide to do it. there arent any objective right or wrong answers here, only whats best for you.

[Cutie Patootie]

Sneaking in from January ddc. That is not a big estimate for a baby. My 2nd dc was 9LBS 10oz and she came out without even a tear. Trust your heart. A c-section is a very hard recovery...a blessing if you absolutely must have one, but the reasons they are giving you are not valid at this time and are only to scare you. I agree with the pp, just don't go on the 24th, or call the office and say you will need to call back and reschedule. Even if you had to have a c/s, unless it is a medical emergency, it is always best to let baby pick their own b'day. There's no need to schedule.

[cellarstella]

FWIW, a good friend of mine had a home water birth with an 11lb 4ozer! She had given birth before, but it was a good four years before, so she said it felt like the first time again. She's about 5'8" average build (not overweight). She had no idea her baby was that big until they weighed her!

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

You do NOT have to go in for the c section. They cannot make you do anything you do not want to do. At least wait until you go into labor then go in if you sense something is wrong. Dont let them bully you mama this is your baby and your body = your decision.

[dimibella]

I will keep you especially in my prayers mama, praying that this little one come peacefully, gently and safely on his own mama!

[candyapplez]

Sneaking in from Dec DDC. Wishing you the best of luck. I'm sorry you are feeling presured. You'll be in my prayers.

[Earthylady]

Oh mama! Others have given you good info. It really is your choice. All they can do is use scare tactics to try to manipulate and control the outcome...however, they can't MAKE you do anything. You have to agree to it.

That video some one posted is great! I've seen it before! And share it with others whenever I can!

A girl I know had a 10+ pound baby with her first and was sectioned due to the big baby card...and her second baby she homebirthed an over 9 pound little girl! It can be done! But, I know...it's so hard when you have the medical establishment not supporting your choices.

[hollycat]

Originally Posted by cellarstella

FWIW, a good friend of mine had a home water birth with an 11lb 4ozer! She had given birth before, but it was a good four years before, so she said it felt like the first time again. She's about 5'8" average build (not overweight). She had no idea her baby was that big until they weighed her!

amazing!

[sarbear]

Originally Posted by hollycat

i just want to gently suggest here that its totally natural that you might be scared and thats okay. but i think you should take responsibility - whatever you decide. take responsibility for choosing to have a c section. take responsibility for not having it. take responsibility for being scared. take responsibility for caving in. take responsibility for standing firm, for getting another opinion.

its easy to get overwhemed. if thats where you are, take responsibility for being overwhelmed! if youre not able to take responsibility for your own feelings and decisons, "they" whoever they are, docs and mw's now, teachers and co workers and in laws and whoever else later, will be able to make you do whatever they want you to do.

dont lose your own personal power along with the birth you want. whatever you decide to do is far less important than that YOU decide to do it. there arent any objective right or wrong answers here, only whats best for you.

I think that this is really good advice. Whatever decision you make, you want to make sure that you are 100% comfortable with it, so you have no regrets down the road.
I will say that having just had a c-section recently, if this is the road you choose to go, try to let go of the fear you have surrounding it. Yes, it is not ideal, but (for me) it was not as bad as I had always imagined. The babies were perfect, it was painful afterward- but the pain was managed well, the babies breastfed very shortly after their birth, and we had no trouble bonding. The experience can still be what you make of it in most cases. Good luck!

[Montse]

Originally Posted by hollycat

i just want to gently suggest here that its totally natural that you might be scared and thats okay. but i think you should take responsibility - whatever you decide. take responsibility for choosing to have a c section. take responsibility for not having it. take responsibility for being scared. take responsibility for caving in. take responsibility for standing firm, for getting another opinion.

its easy to get overwhemed. if thats where you are, take responsibility for being overwhelmed! if youre not able to take responsibility for your own feelings and decisons, "they" whoever they are, docs and mw's now, teachers and co workers and in laws and whoever else later, will be able to make you do whatever they want you to do.

dont lose your own personal power along with the birth you want. whatever you decide to do is far less important than that YOU decide to do it. there arent any objective right or wrong answers here, only whats best for you.

I completely agree with you and I feel very conflicted. I don't want to believe what the doctors and midwife are telling me and you're right, I'm overwhelmed. They are so convincing and when they pull "the baby could die or be brain damaged" routine, I don't know what to think or do. I'm trying really hard to make peace with all this. I want to do what is best for me and my baby, more importantly, my baby. I have an appointment on Tuesday and will most likely reschedule. I want to make the effort of having a natural birth.

Thank you for your feedback.

[elisheva]

The line they are feeding you about baby not being engaged is total cr*p. I had a vag exam at 10:30 the day my baby was born. He was not anywhere near engaged and my cervix was high and closed. I went into labor at 3:00 pm that day and he was born at 7:40 pm. And his head was 14.75 in. It's the head circ that matters - fat squishes.

Do what you *know* in your heart is best for you and baby - whatever that may be. Just don't let that choice be based on bogus fear mongering.