Alternatives to saying NO to my 9 month old.

[Bonnenuit]

I have a 9 month old daughter who is crawling with vigor and also pulling herself up and cruising. With that said she is obviously getting into EVERYTHING. I'm finding myself saying "no" to her so often that I think it is loosing it's meaning. On top of that we have a puppy (yes I know ) who is being trained and being told "no" a lot too....

I just feel confused as to what I should do here. I feel like a no machine...It's draining and so NOT productive.


Any help?

[babsbob]

Redirection, redirection, redirection....

That's about all that worked for me. I tell them what they can do rather than just saying "no" and then distract them with other activities. Instead of saying "no" say "let's go over here" or "what's this over here?" in a super excited voice.

It's always good to have drawers and cabinets with things for them to play with. Or bring out a box with measuring cups and spoons or someting new to attract their attention. It's the old "bait and switch" routine.

For example, in the kitchen, I have a bottom drawer I put different things in and if one of the kids is getting into another drawer I say "that's mama's drawer, your drawer is over here" and I open their drawer for them and it is an instant distraction. I have stuff in a bathroom drawer and a cabinet for their toys under the TV and always thinking of new ways to help them entertain themselves.

[mama*pisces]

:

I agree that redirecting is the best/least frustrating option for everyone involved. 'No' really doesn't sink in at this age and if babies hear it to much it loses its importance, so they eventually tune it out.

And I love the idea of giving baby her own drawer/space amongst the grown-up stuff whenever possible.

[_betsy_]

Instead of removing baby, remove the stuff you don't want her to get into - and not just 2-3 inches out of her reach right now, or you'll be moving it again in two weeks.

I always say "Oops! not for baby! Here's something else!"

[phathui5]

A good thing to try (though pretty funny looking) is for you to crawl through the house and take note of the things that you don't want her to mess with. Then, try to figure out a way to get those things out of her reach. Can you put them up higher, behind furniture, rearrange things?

[sbgrace]

Yep, I'm not against no when a child is at an age to consistently respond but I never needed no at those young ages. Babyproof completely. That solves most of it and then she can explore like she was meant to. And then in situations where you can't babyproof re-direct/distract.

[kcparker]

We removed hazards/things that we didn't want our son breaking/eating/touching when he got mobile. If you can manage it, simply removing the reasons for saying 'no' (plants, books, china dishes, etc.) gives her more freedom to cruise without you needing to stop something from happening every 5 seconds.

Since he's been mobile, we also let him pull our cupboard contents out to play with and make a bit of a mess of tupperware/boxes of pasta and cereal, pots and pans in the kitchen, and now he's finally (14 months old) starting to PUT THINGS BACK IN THE CUPBOARDS - amazing. We also do a lot of passive monitoring and simply scoop him up for a kiss or some airplane flying or to look out the window at something "exciting" if he starts to do something we don't feel safe letting him do, or we go help him (he's big into climbing things)...

We also try to narrate to him or tell him things like, "The stove is hot! Danger! No touch!" or "The dog only likes gentle touches, open hands!" and demonstrate the appropriate action for him. We started it early, and I think he gets it. The DANGER! items (stove, electrical cords), he does actually respect and keep back from if we remind him.

[mamak05]

My DD is three and I still tell/ask her what I want her to do, so I suggest starting that habit for yourself now. Even if you still say no, just correct yourself like so: "No, don't crawl on the table, DD. Oh, what I mean to say is, please crawl on the floor." Or whatever!

I also have always explained to DD why I'm asking her to do something. Crawling on the floor is safer because there's no table end for you to fall from, etc.

"Babyproofing" to a certain extend and also providing a space that is for her to "get into" are great ideas.

And finally, when you're really exasperated, you can try to look at this behavior like she's an explorer venturing forth to learn about new worlds and then you can appreciate her sense of wander and curiosity, even if you don't want her tearing all the toilet paper off the roll.

Take pictures too!

[Bonnenuit]

Thank you everyone! The only thing I am left with is the dog food bowl because I can't put that somewhere else really. Ive even given in and let her splash in the water dish fromtime to time because I know it's very strange and interesting to her, but I really do not want her eating dog food! lol.

I do love the idea of giving her a drawer. I will have to see what I can do.

[notaperfectmom]

One other suggestion - it may be too early for this, but we used the phrase "Not a good decision" and it worked well for us from about 10 months on. The tone more than the wording is really important I guess. We tried to leave "NO" for a few things that we think are very important so that he really pays attention when we say it. Obviously "decision" implies some control which he doesn't have of course BUT I'm trying to lay groundwork for later And it seems to work pretty well.....as much as it can at his age!

And yes - lots of removal of objects and redirecting!

[bdoody11]

Originally Posted by _betsy_

I always say "Oops! not for baby! Here's something else!"

This is what we say, too. We leave no for the really important things, like running in the street.

[BonnieLynn]

My son is 11 mos and we're doing a lot of this too. Besides tons of redirection we've been using different a few more specific words. For example, we say ouch for things like the oven or outlets (which are covered, but I still don't want him to play with it) and yuk for the garbage can etc. After lots and lots of repetition and redirection he's not so interested in the things he can't have anymore. Of course, we live in a tiny tiny apartment so there aren't that many nos just because of how little space there is .

[columbusmomma]

I fall into the "no" trap a lot! However, I try to say "stop"! But mainly just redirect and give her something else to do! Her new thing is to unplug something and then try to plug it back in! I keep saying, not safe for Alina, momma or daddy touches only. Yeah, that works, not!!