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WWYD? Want HB but cost, pain issues

post #1 of 7
Thread Starter 
I would love to have a HB, BUT my attempt at natural last time ended in a 36 hour, epidural, not what I wanted birth because I just couldn't handle the pain and was not dilating, I may have been able to handle it had I been dilating but it was so infuriating. A doula friend of my sis said some women just can't relax enough w/o meds. Anyway, I want a HB, but thinking cost wise, my last hospital birth came to about $3000, a HB w/ MW would cost me about $2500... BUT if I end up w/ another long labor and just can't do it w/o serious meds, end up in the hospital again it will be about $4700, MW + Hospital bills... Ugh, or should I just do another hospital birth see if I can go natural again (this will be my second true birth DD1 was Emergeny CS, so my body might do better this time, right?). Then just plan for the next one accordingly..... ??? WWYD? Just looking for other outlooks. Thanks.
post #2 of 7
I would recommend doing some soul searching and reading to up your confidence in your body. I had a similar experience as you with a long labor, transfer & epi, pit and eventual c-section yet I have full confidence that if I am in my own home that I can feel comfortable enough to do what I need to in order to have a natural birth.

I am reading the book Birthing from Within right now to overcome my emotions about my last birth. It seems a little hokey so far regarding the birth art but i may just try it.
post #3 of 7
If I were in your shoes I would examine if there was anything about the last birth that could have contributed to it being long and painful. Were you able to move around freely, were you left alone by nurses and staff, were you able to labor without an IV and monitoring, did you have access to natural sources of pain relief like a birth tub? Often times when we labor in a stressful environment it can slow down labor and make it harder to work with, which is why homebirth is so appealing to a lot of women. We get to labor and birth on our terms in the comfort of our own homes without anyone telling us when and how to do it, and I think that can be freeing for a lot of women. Work on building up trust in yourself and figuring out what relaxation techniques work well for you, for me deep relaxation/meditation in my yoga practice helps a lot during labor. If homebirth is something you really want to work toward, I say go for it!

Oh, and if there's one thing that amazes me about MDC it's the number of women who have super short labors. I don't know if it's because of homebirthing or what but there must be something in the water around here. I hope it rubs off on you
post #4 of 7
Thread Starter 
I truly believe its because I went in too early that it was so horrible, but my sister (the only one who at that point had gotten to go into labor and birth herself) has WAYYYYYYY short labors, like she's lucky to make it to the hospital (well lucky cause thats what she wants) so I thought I might be that way to the joke was on me. I plan on staying home as long as possible this time if I do have a hospital birth.
post #5 of 7
I am in a similar situation though slightly different bc I am a VBA2C with no vag births. In my small town area, I feel that going to a MW is my best chance at getting the birth I want bc last time I was told I would be able to move around but once at the hospital and the new shift came on I was strapped to a bed and could not move (every time the HB could not be read the nurse was coming in to get it) and I really had no support (DH was there part of the time but not supportive in the way I needed him to be [he supports me trying to VBAC but not the greatest at giving actual hands on support] ~ until 1 evening old school nurse came for 1 shift). I know our $$ will be tight especially if I end up transferring but it is a chance I have to take if I do not want to be sliced and diced again right away.

post #6 of 7
Everyone woman who plans a hb has the risk of transfer and therefore of paying twice. Its a chance you take. Just because you would be able to make it through this time in the hospital with no meds does not mean the next birth won't end up in a transfer. KWIM? Its the same risk every time.

I think its easier to make it at home with no meds than at the hospital because by the time you are to that point the thought of actually getting in the car and driving in that pain is so unappealing. Its easier to just say Ok, lets get this over with right here. Totally btdt lol.

Did you have a doula last time? If not that is something to consider. Also most hb mws offer labor support like a doula. So you have your support team to offer counter pressure, hot compresses, changes in position, etc. Drs and nurses don't really do that. And I know as much as I love having dh with me he just doesn't understand what I need in labor. He is so wimpy when it comes to counter pressure. He doesn't want to hurt me lol. He fetches drinks ok but he wouldn't think oh lets put a hot pack on her back. Having someone there to do those things can really help. Having the option of water to labor in can save you from pain meds. It doesn't take the pain away but can make it more manageable. Even a hot shower is nice.

Do you know what position your baby was in? Long labor with slow dialation sounds like a posterior baby. In that case you want to be upright and leaning forward to help the baby move. Sitting on birth balls or on all fours can alleviate some of the pain and open the pelvis so the baby has room to move. If you immediatly got strapped down to the bed with EFM and IV I can see how it would have been difficult to cope. And being a VBAC they probably aren't gonna let you up, they might require constant monitoring. You might be able to get wireless monitoring. So you can be up and about. Its something to ask about.

post #7 of 7
Thread Starter 
I was on wireless most of the time, up walking, DH did good counterpressure, birth ball, showers... I did everything and she was in the proper position. Honestly that is kinda what I'm hoping for, stay home long enough and just end up having her at home
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