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How old was your son when he started getting pubic hair? - Page 3

Poll Results: How old was your son when he got pubic hair?

 
  • 2% (2)
    7 or younger
  • 5% (4)
    8
  • 8% (7)
    9
  • 10% (8)
    10
  • 13% (11)
    11
  • 12% (10)
    12
  • 5% (4)
    13
  • 3% (3)
    14
  • 2% (2)
    15
  • 35% (28)
    the obligatory other
79 Total Votes  
post #41 of 148
Quote:
Early puberty may be a variation of normal development, or may be a result of a disease or abnormal hormone exposure.
Bolding mine, I admit it's from wikipedia but I'm feeling a little too lazy to google right now and wade through the crud out there. So apparently early puberty can be cause for concern.


Quote:
But being comfortable with your human form can be done in the privacy of your own home. Any parent out there (by now) should be well aware of pedofiles. Making it easier for your child to be viewed by a pedofile makes the parent no better than they are.
Ok, you have basically just compared every naturalist and parent who lets their child run around less then fully clothed with a pedophile. All because you have a different view on things then they do. That is incredibly insulting and completely uncalled for. I also don't think it was at all necessary to say either.
post #42 of 148
I can't answer the question because my oldest is still too young for that, but I'm a little weirded out that so many people are weirded out at the thought of seeing a kid older than 8 or so naked. My son will be 8 in a few months and I doubt that between then and now he's going to suddenly cover up. Heck, he sees dh and me naked. I guess we're a naked family .
post #43 of 148
Well, I have been lurking around these boards for many years to find help with some issues. I dont post often, but I would like to respond to this post


My son came to me about 9 months ago ( he was 11 & 1/2 then) and told me during one of our nightly "conversation hour" that he had noticed he was growing hair on his privates. He is very open and honest with me about everything. He asks me questions about lots of different topics, sexual education is one. Im glad he feels comf ortable taking to me about these things.

I was always afraid to ask my parents questions, they werent very comfortable with the subject. I told myself then that I would never do that to my child.

post #44 of 148
Quote:
Originally Posted by SusanElizabeth View Post
I think some things are private, especially when it's between a parent and child of opposite sexes. I accept the fact that there are differences in the way people are raised, and individual families acceptance of nudity.

If one of the fathers on this site posted a thread about his daughter and her pubic hair, would people think this was equally appropriate? If the dad said in his post that his 9-year old daughter had a "full on bush" and other dads then weighed in would people think it was OK? Or is this different?

I totally agree. If this were a dad about a girl, I would be very suspicious.

As for other comments, my brother didn't care to wear clothing until over the age of 8, so he was always naked. I don't have a ds, but both my brother (who very excitedly announced it) and my dh were 12.
post #45 of 148
Quote:
Originally Posted by SusanElizabeth View Post
I think some things are private, especially when it's between a parent and child of opposite sexes. I accept the fact that there are differences in the way people are raised, and individual families acceptance of nudity.

If one of the fathers on this site posted a thread about his daughter and her pubic hair, would people think this was equally appropriate? If the dad said in his post that his 9-year old daughter had a "full on bush" and other dads then weighed in would people think it was OK? Or is this different?
You have identified a double-standard that really irks me in society today. I believe that this kind of mind-set especially in men has probably led to many poor relationships between fathers and daughters. So many men are worried about being labeled a pedophile that they avoid even innocuous situations/conversations involving their daughters. What a shame
post #46 of 148
Quote:
Originally Posted by mommyinIL1976 View Post
You have identified a double-standard that really irks me in society today. I believe that this kind of mind-set especially in men has probably led to many poor relationships between fathers and daughters. So many men are worried about being labeled a pedophile that they avoid even innocuous situations/conversations involving their daughters. What a shame
It is a shame, especially since it's unavoidable in our house. It's one of the reasons we have a hard time finding someone to ask about dd, most people think it's weird that dh or I would want to know about bras or other 'female topics'.
post #47 of 148
Quote:
Originally Posted by MusicianDad View Post
It is a shame, especially since it's unavoidable in our house. It's one of the reasons we have a hard time finding someone to ask about dd, most people think it's weird that dh or I would want to know about bras or other 'female topics'.
OK, it's official... MusicianDad... I love you :::

Don't worry, I'm not gonna stalk you... this week. ;-)

I wish you lived around the corner (or, dare I hope, next door!) to me... we could hang out and you could explain my boys stuff to me and I could explain your daughter's stuff to you

Feel free to PM me if you ever have girlie questions
post #48 of 148
Quote:
Originally Posted by oliversmum2000 View Post
really??? my ds will be 8 in 2 weeks and still needs for me to rinse the conditionner out of his hair otherwise it would be a sticky mess, he showers while his younger sibs bathe, he wonders around naked, he is an innocent little boy, i find it weird that you think there is anything wrong with seeing your son naked when he is still a little boy.

i plan to respect my sons boundaries and as his self awareness grows and he
needs more privacy i will absolutely respect that but for now he doesnt care
Ditto this. My boy is 7 1/2 and I still have to help him in the shower, especially with conditioner. He has no self-awareness yet anyway and so we see him changing with his door open and everything. 7 is a very much a little boy. I'm his MOTHER so it's not weird that I would still help him when he needs it. We're not like a naked family or anything but I'm shocked that some are shocked that a mother would see her own child naked at 7 or 8. They're little kids for heaven's sake!
post #49 of 148
I find it more disturbing that people would be "weirded out" by seeing their children naked. It wouldn't even occur to me to look at my ds's naked body with any feeling of weirdness - he's my son. If he wants privacy, great. If he feels comfortable being naked around family, that's fine too.
post #50 of 148
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sisyphus View Post
OK, it's official... MusicianDad... I love you :::

Don't worry, I'm not gonna stalk you... this week. ;-)

I wish you lived around the corner (or, dare I hope, next door!) to me... we could hang out and you could explain my boys stuff to me and I could explain your daughter's stuff to you

Feel free to PM me if you ever have girlie questions
:

Thanks, and if you need help with boy stuff you can come to me.
post #51 of 148
I think there is a big difference between asking normal puberty questions about pubic hair, especially as someone who went through precocious puberty, and using terms that I would consider graphic like "a full on bush." Even though we don't know each other's children, some aspect of privacy should remain in our posts, regardless of whether we are discussing same sex or opposite sex children.
post #52 of 148
Quote:
Originally Posted by mommy68 View Post

what did you just say?

I bet the pedofiles are happy in your neck of the woods. How scary that no one teaches those children better than that.
Trying to be moderate here, but perhaps the reason I am so freaked by this sort of reply is that I live very rurally where it is normal for kids to go skinny dipping etc at all ages. We all know where the weirdos live and who to stay away from. I had a pedophile for a step dad, and I still wouldn't have an issue with my kids doing stuff that's normal around here. I also don't care if they see me naked in the course of normal activity - dressing, in and out of the shower, it's 90 out and I can't stand to be clothed I often will sit down and 5 min later my night shirt is on the floor. when I get up I put it back on, but I am just so not a prude and I hope my kids won't ever be either. The only time I was encouraged to cover up is around my second step dad when I hit puberty, but I still was around my mom naked and me her.

Yes there are pedophiles out there, but I don't live my daily life in fear of them, I teach my kids about the icky feeling and to trust it.

returning to the original post, I can't add on the boy side, but I got mine at 9 as a girl.
post #53 of 148
Quote:
Originally Posted by harrietsmama View Post
I also don't care if they see me naked in the course of normal activity - dressing, in and out of the shower, it's 90 out and I can't stand to be clothed I often will sit down and 5 min later my night shirt is on the floor. when I get up I put it back on, but I am just so not a prude and I hope my kids won't ever be either. The only time I was encouraged to cover up is around my second step dad when I hit puberty, but I still was around my mom naked and me her.
What you do in your own home has nothing to do with my earlier comment. I was replying to a post about someone stating they know that young boys are skinny dipping in public places in their town. Under-age children out in public places totally naked don't fly with me. But that's MY opinion. Opinions are like, well you know, we all have 'em.

I also have not personally commented that I try to freak my own children out or scare them about pedophiles. To be totally honest, I'm not even sure how often I've talked about the issue with my children. It's not the first thing on my mind, that's for sure. But my children are aware of "any and all" types of stranger dangers.
post #54 of 148
Quote:
Originally Posted by mommy68 View Post
What you do in your own home has nothing to do with my earlier comment. I was replying to a post about someone stating they know that young boys are skinny dipping in public places in their town. Under-age children out in public places totally naked don't fly with me. But that's MY opinion. Opinions are like, well you know, we all have 'em.

I also have not personally commented that I try to freak my own children out or scare them about pedophiles. To be totally honest, I'm not even sure how often I've talked about the issue with my children. It's not the first thing on my mind, that's for sure. But my children are aware of "any and all" types of stranger dangers.
I thought my original post, the part you snipped off, did have to do with your earlier comment. Kids around here do go skinny dipping and stuff around here. It may not be 'downtown', but they are DNR territories, state parks etc., along with popular swimming holes.
post #55 of 148
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faerieshadow View Post
I find it more disturbing that people would be "weirded out" by seeing their children naked. It wouldn't even occur to me to look at my ds's naked body with any feeling of weirdness - he's my son. If he wants privacy, great. If he feels comfortable being naked around family, that's fine too.
That's us too. My ten year old is very comfy being nude around me. He has no pubic hair as of yet.

A friend of his was spending the night and was so disturbed the next day by my 4 year old running around all nakey. He was telling him to get some clothes on and such. Seemed like there was some shame involved.

I love running around naked and hope my kids continue to like it. No problem if they don't though.
post #56 of 148
My ds was proud when he got his first hair and ran in to tell dh and me. For him it is the beginning of a rite of passage on the way to becoming a man. I am thankful he is comfortable enough to share the milestone w/ us.
post #57 of 148
Thanks for this thread. I personally find it comforting to hear other parents experiences with these things. I just discovered that my 8 year old dd now has pubic hair. Whoa. I wasn't really expecting this so soon.
Its comforting to hear all the sweet stories about kids who like to tell their parents things. I hope my dd continues to feel she can trust me enough to share stuff throughout puberty.
I completely respect her privacy-I know I wanted it when I was going through that! But its also cool to get to have my 2 cents about body changes,puberty and the like. If she trusts me enough to share, I am honored and would never tell her it is TMI!
I'm glad I know that she is starting some changes, because it explains her recent COMPLETELY IRRATIONAL behavior, and makes me have more compassion around that. (Hey, I too was a hormonal emotional mess only 5 months ago only for a different reason.)
Also, we haven't done a ton of talking about puberty and sex, and I am now thinking I'd like to introduce that book I got her a while back but have been saving. I thought it would be another year or two at least before it became real relevant.
My sons are both little, but I don't think its at all abnormal for a boy to talk to his mom about these things. Unusual, I think, but not wrong or bad.
I don't relate to my kids a whole lot differently because of their gender, and I would welcome my sons using me as a friend and resource during puberty. In fact, I really think these boys who talk to their mamas and are comfortable with themselves must be very healthy. Puberty is such a tough time- the more confident kids feel and the more trustworthy resources they have for information and support, the better. Come on, how could that be unhealthy?

Also, I want to add my input as someone who has worked in sexual assault prevention, on the whole sexual abuse issue. Sexual abuse has nothing to do with whether a family is nude around each other or not.
The level of modesty around bodies is a cultural and personal issue that I'm quite certain has no bearing on a child's risk of being molested. There are many places in the world where it is ordinary for family members of all ages to bathe together, and it does not result in more sexual abuse.
I would say the same goes for public swimming nudity. That is not the typical situation that results in a kid being abused, though it is possible that a pedophile could be scoping out a public swimming area. Swimsuit or not, though, is not going to make a great deal of difference in their risk level in terms of sexual assault. If they are scoping kids out, they will be regardless of swimsuit or not.
Abuse happens to kids in families that have very strict codes of modesty, and in fact, may be more easy to keep a secret in these families since there may be a lot of quiet and shyness about bodies. Really, it can happen to anyone.
I would say our style is sort of middle of the road about these issues. In my house, my husband is modest and I am not. My kids get to choose how modest they want to be, though we have rules against clothing that we think is sexualizing, and we do make our children wear clothing in public after they are not babies. Also, we don't allow our littles to touch their genitals in front of people, mostly because its awkward and embarrassing! I also don't allow sex play between children in my house. I don't judge people who have different ways of dealing with these things.
The important thing is that kids feel loved, respected, and safe, and that they know their body is special. How conservative or liberal you are on these issues is not at all the point.
The only inoculation against sexual abuse is making sure your kids are self-confident, and can talk to you. It sounds like these families are doing a pretty amazing job with that, so I'd say their kids are likely at a lower risk of sexual exploitation than a lot of kids. Safe to say if anything happened, they know they could tell their mom. I think its great.
post #58 of 148
I have no idea. At 15, however, he has a really good goatee - so he's a hairy kid!

ETA: And thank GOD the world is so safe I don't have to worry about pedophiles or child molesters or anyone abducting my kid. It's rare - not that the media would lead you to believe it. Just an afterthought after I caught up on reading the thread.
post #59 of 148
Mine was 8, he also started getting underarm hair. I was 8 too when these things started happening.
post #60 of 148
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nautical View Post
If this were a dad about a girl, I would be very suspicious.
Why? My husband works in the medical field and if something were to happen to me, I'd be happy if my daughter were to feel comfortable enough to go to her father. Does this mean he's some kind of weirdo who is out to get his own daughter if he can answer questions about puberty?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Faerieshadow View Post
I find it more disturbing that people would be "weirded out" by seeing their children naked. It wouldn't even occur to me to look at my ds's naked body with any feeling of weirdness - he's my son. If he wants privacy, great. If he feels comfortable being naked around family, that's fine too.
Exactly.
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