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How old was your son when he started getting pubic hair? - Page 4

Poll Results: How old was your son when he got pubic hair?

 
  • 2% (2)
    7 or younger
  • 5% (4)
    8
  • 8% (7)
    9
  • 10% (8)
    10
  • 13% (11)
    11
  • 12% (10)
    12
  • 5% (4)
    13
  • 3% (3)
    14
  • 2% (2)
    15
  • 35% (28)
    the obligatory other
79 Total Votes  
post #61 of 148
my 9 year old has no hair, hes always running around naked. He insists if he gets lonley someone come in and wash his back when he is in the bathroom, dh or me, he doesn't care.

My eldest 11 year old is the same way, he is starting to get hair and is needing more and more privacy.

My younger 11 year old, doesn't want anyone looking anywhere near him and doesn't want to see anyone else.

So he has a big problem with my 9 year olds lack of modestly, but hey to each there own, if my 9 yr old is confidant then i really don't care if he whips off his pajamas in the kitchen.
post #62 of 148
Some of the replies in this thread are pretty amazing.

Both of my DS's used to run around the house naked all the time. My older suddenly stopped at 11, but our state requires that for Doctor physicals, a parent has to be present in the room with his or her son or daughter until age 12, and so I saw that he had developed quite a bit.

Afterwards he said that he had become more private a few months back when younger DS started teasing him, and at first thought he was sick since bumps are the first signs of growing hair, and had even tried to "cut it off." In the 2 years since he again seems comfortable walking around nude occasionally, despite the fact he has started growing hair on his chest and in other places, and younger DS proudly announced the appearance of hair a few months ago. Maybe we're just weird...
post #63 of 148
I am amazed that this thread is back. Ask yourself.......how would your son feel if he knew you were responding to this thread? If you can honestly say that it wouldn't bother him, then whatever.
post #64 of 148
Quote:
Originally Posted by mommy68 View Post

what did you just say?

I bet the pedofiles are happy in your neck of the woods. How scary that no one teaches those children better than that.
inaprropriate comment
but as I read on I see we've gone over it

I , as a female, didn't go through puberty until 14-15 years old and was told that was normal. I realize it is happening earlier now for many reasons and know people who went through puberty early, like 11 but my son is 13 and still bald on the parts I can see.
Let me say so we have some added voices here, my seven year old son still takes a bath with his five year old sister. He still runs around naked as does his sister and he still feels comfortable with sitting on my lap and sleeping in my bed. My 13 yo son slept in the same bed and me and his dad until his little brother was born when he was 6.5 and slept in the same room until he was 12. All of my kids feel free to come in the bathroom when I am in the shower.
not seeing my 7 year old naked? he is a first grader and still has some baby left in him. My five year old and seven year old still miss nursing...
maybe we are on some extreme end but my 7 year old being nude is totally normal to me.
post #65 of 148
Quote:
Originally Posted by SusanElizabeth View Post
I am amazed that this thread is back. Ask yourself.......how would your son feel if he knew you were responding to this thread? If you can honestly say that it wouldn't bother him, then whatever.
he'd be embarrassed, which is why I'd never discuss it around him, or let anyone here know his identity, but it is very important for parents to feel like their kids are growing normally. We don't ask our sons if they have pubic hair because we respect their privacy, that doesn't mean we don't care about their growing bodies. If we are willing to talk about when they got their first tooth, then what is so bad about when they got their first pubic hair?????
post #66 of 148
Quote:
Originally Posted by SusanElizabeth View Post
I am amazed that this thread is back. Ask yourself.......how would your son feel if he knew you were responding to this thread? If you can honestly say that it wouldn't bother him, then whatever.
Mother has every reason to be concerned about how her teen age child of either gender is developing. In most societies and in the nature the mother is responsible for the mental and physical development of her offspring (motherhood) and ought to have knowledge of child’s health and stage of physical development on first hand. Society concedes a parent to take decisions instead of underage child until come of age. That applies to a great extent when be speaking for physical development and health. It is very important for a parent to monitor child’s development so that any possible problems can be identified and treated as early as possible. It is quite possible for shy pubescent boy because of shame to save symptoms about any aberration of normal physical development or health, not aware of their importance. The medical office policy in most societies requires a parent or guardian to be present during the exam. That afford an quite legitimate opportunity and acceptable excuse to the mother to become acquainted about the stage of development of her kid. The mother, who witness the rise of her child from the birth and without any doubt is familiar with his body, will be irreplaceable doctors assistant.
post #67 of 148
There's a lot of talk on this forum about helping our daughters who are pre-adolescent and adolescent celebrate their changes. I just don't see why we would think differently for our sons? Isn't this a normal part of parenting? I expect it will be with my son.
post #68 of 148
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sisyphus View Post
OK, it's official... MusicianDad... I love you :::

Don't worry, I'm not gonna stalk you... this week. ;-)

I wish you lived around the corner (or, dare I hope, next door!) to me... we could hang out and you could explain my boys stuff to me and I could explain your daughter's stuff to you

Feel free to PM me if you ever have girlie questions
I agree with sisyphus, musiciandad! I won't judge you or think your w wierdo if you want to talk about your daughter and puberty etc... i wouldn't judge you even if you wanteed to talk about your daughter and puberty if there were a woman in your home. Its totally ok with me for men to to be interested in their daughters development and want to know and be involved in their maturity.
Growing up and becoming men and women is something every single person on this earth does... I'm of the mindset that its something to be celebrated and talked about. Its ok with me if other moms or dads want to ignore it or think its none of their business.. but I don't think they should judge others for thier interest in it...especially a dad.

feel free to pm me,too... musiciandad! I'm no expert but I am a girl!
post #69 of 148
I have no idea. He's 14 now and has a little dark moustache and has for a little over a year and he has dark hairs on his legs like his dad, but he has dark hair anyway so it's hard to tell. I'm sure he has it by now but as far as "when" he got it I have no idea. None of my business really. It's not something I feel I need to know. But I have nothing against those that want to know this type of thing. I've just never really put that much thought in to it.
post #70 of 148
I have no idea for my son. My dd at 9 didn't have any but she slowly got more modest. She is 11 and how has it, starting boobs, and just got her first period.
post #71 of 148
Quote:
Originally Posted by SusanElizabeth View Post
I think some things are private, especially when it's between a parent and child of opposite sexes. I accept the fact that there are differences in the way people are raised, and individual families acceptance of nudity.

If one of the fathers on this site posted a thread about his daughter and her pubic hair, would people think this was equally appropriate? If the dad said in his post that his 9-year old daughter had a "full on bush" and other dads then weighed in would people think it was OK? Or is this different?
It could be very appropriate. He is a dad he DOES NOT know. He might need some norms. Yes "full bush" is a bad choice of words but sometimes we were not raised or had education with any other terms. It also can be shocking to a parent to realize how much hair, esspeically if it is a lot, their child has.

I have one male friend that is a sahd. His wife was out of state working when there dd got their first period. He called me to ask me question on what to tell his dd about using tampons. He never thought of buying KY to help her insert it. Or spreading legs or anything. Out of his field. And his Wife was not avialable at the momment and it was an emergancy situation. DD refused to use a pad (diaper).

Another dad friend is a single dad. He called his ex. She told him it was his problem....he called me.

Another dad that talk to his wife but he found out how much hair in the ER his dd had. He was curious at that age if it was normal. Because of the situation and he didn't feel it being that important he waited to ask his wife discreately.

At swim team we (me and a friend with 5 girls) were asked about periods, first periods, et because they felt it was comming. They have ask questions "is this normal". My friend with 5 kids is a nurse plus 1 of 4 girls with 5 girls. She had to ask "is this normal" for her only son.

It can be harder to find information on boys and puberty than girls and puberty. Matter of fact our boys are at more health risk simply because male health isn't discuss. Women will group together. Men are taught "man up" not talk about it, be strong. Asking if it normal for pubic hair in boys at 9 is in the realms of norms--esspecially since mom isn't a boy. More and more boys are raised in single mom homes. There is no male around to say "Yep, that is normal or happen to me." That is why we have to reach out to each other. Plus it makes it more OK for boys to talk about their changing bodies and health.

Yes my kids would be embarrassed if they knew I have asked questions and shared information but it was all done discreately.
post #72 of 148
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marsupialmom View Post
It could be very appropriate. He is a dad he DOES NOT know. He might need some norms. Yes "full bush" is a bad choice of words but sometimes we were not raised or had education with any other terms. It also can be shocking to a parent to realize how much hair, esspeically if it is a lot, their child has.

I have one male friend that is a sahd. His wife was out of state working when there dd got their first period. He called me to ask me question on what to tell his dd about using tampons. He never thought of buying KY to help her insert it. Or spreading legs or anything. Out of his field. And his Wife was not avialable at the momment and it was an emergancy situation. DD refused to use a pad (diaper).
He couldn't reach his wife? At all? And his daughter,when getting her very first period refused to use pads?
post #73 of 148
This thread is so sad. It is so sad for me to think that (God forbid) if something happened to me, dh could potentially be villified, or called out as a pedophile, for asking a question about HIS OWN DAUGHTER. I know bad things happen to kids, I am not naive -- however, if anyone actually believes the majority of child molesters are ones openly asking questions as to the commonality/normalcy of pubic hair at a certain age, you are dead wrong. In fact, the molesters are likely to be the ones who are "shocked" at questions like that, and who think "kids should be protected at all costs!" and whatnot.

There is nothing wrong with the naked body, so long as everyone involved feels safe, comfortable, and not shamed or embarrassed. DD is four and still has no problem being naked in front of dh -- it pains me so much to think someone would think something ugly about their relationship because of it. My husband is a tad more modest than I am, so I don't know how comfortable he would be around her nakedness as a pre-teen (it would have far more to do with his hang-ups though, then it being wrong) -- but to infer that there is something inappropriate about a close, innocent relationship between a parent/child simply because their gender differs, is sick to me.

It says far more about the person suspecting inpropriety than anything else, imo.
post #74 of 148
He's 10 and doesn't have any. He has a habit of stripping down before he makes it into the bathroom LOL
post #75 of 148
Quote:
Originally Posted by Just My Opinion View Post
This thread is so sad. It is so sad for me to think that (God forbid) if something happened to me, dh could potentially be villified, or called out as a pedophile, for asking a question about HIS OWN DAUGHTER. I know bad things happen to kids, I am not naive -- however, if anyone actually believes the majority of child molesters are ones openly asking questions as to the commonality/normalcy of pubic hair at a certain age, you are dead wrong. In fact, the molesters are likely to be the ones who are "shocked" at questions like that, and who think "kids should be protected at all costs!" and whatnot.

There is nothing wrong with the naked body, so long as everyone involved feels safe, comfortable, and not shamed or embarrassed. DD is four and still has no problem being naked in front of dh -- it pains me so much to think someone would think something ugly about their relationship because of it. My husband is a tad more modest than I am, so I don't know how comfortable he would be around her nakedness as a pre-teen (it would have far more to do with his hang-ups though, then it being wrong) -- but to infer that there is something inappropriate about a close, innocent relationship between a parent/child simply because their gender differs, is sick to me.

It says far more about the person suspecting inpropriety than anything else, imo.
Your daughter is FOUR YEARS OLD. It's ridiculous to compare the nakedness of a FOUR YEAR OLD to that of a child who is pre-pubescent.
post #76 of 148
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marsupialmom View Post
It could be very appropriate. He is a dad he DOES NOT know. He might need some norms. Yes "full bush" is a bad choice of words but sometimes we were not raised or had education with any other terms. It also can be shocking to a parent to realize how much hair, esspeically if it is a lot, their child has.
it seems to me that people are freaking out over the term "bush" being used. Is there another, more appropriate term that you would feel comfortable with?

Thatch?

Patch?

Arbusto?

Just trying to lighten things up a bit. How would you describe someone who had, um, a luxuriant growth of pubic hair?

Some of the gut reaction to "bush" might be that it's a fairly derogatory term for a woman's...thatch...patch...vee...of hair as well.

Try to get past that and help the OP with her question. FTR, my son is 11 and I don't believe he has much. He's about 50-50 with nudity, and the last time I saw (he has a small mole on his scrotum and asked me to look), he had downy blond hair. He has lots of arm and leg hair though.

I think this is a rational question and an interesting discussion, if only to see how some can get overly upset about a simple question.

Carry on!
post #77 of 148
How did I not see this thread before? LOL First, when I saw that 9 - 10 year old boys had pubic hair, I was like " What? " I even turned to dh and mentioned my surprise. LOL Guess I need to have the puberty talk with ds sooner than later.
I don't think talking about it is shameful at all. It's the same to me as talking about when to expect your dd to start her AF. We have to ask each others advice, there's no rule book.
My oldest ds is pretty shy about changing and bathing in front of us, and has been since he was about 6. But we still change clothes from time to time in the same area, like for swimming and stuff. He comes to me with whatever weird thing he thinks he might have going on with his body. I'm glad. i want my kids to be able to ask me anything. There is really nothing about this human experience that can't be talked about. Nothing to be ashamed about.


ETA: "Bush" seems to be triggering some, but I cant figure out why. It's a word we use to describe our own pubes, isn't it?? I have no problem with it. It's not like we're teaching our kids to say "bush" but we're all adults here right?
post #78 of 148
Quote:
Originally Posted by SusanElizabeth View Post
He couldn't reach his wife? At all? And his daughter,when getting her very first period refused to use pads?
Read a little more careful.........she was out of state. We live in MO she was in NY working. Business meetings are not always interuptable -esspecially when you are to soul bread winner.

She felt that pads to be like diaper that everyone could see. Every girl is different, some refuse pads - some refuse tampons. There closest relatives are an hour away. I am 5 minutes a way-- she has known me since she was 2ish.

He got someone he knew she would be comfortable with. They had pads there avialable. They didn't figure she would have that reaction to them. But that is her body and her decission. They might have tried different pads since then.

My own dd just got her first. She is on the swim team. She used tampons on her first period. No problem. I think she perfers them. Hey it is her body - her choice
post #79 of 148
It makes me so terribly sad that all of the fabulous, loving fathers in the world who would chew off their own arm to spare their daughters an ounce of pain would be suspected of ill intentions for asking a questing regarding her development once puberty hits.

it makes me sad for every wonderful and loving man in my life who is or will one day be a father. i hate to think of them knowing people wonder about their love for their daughters b/c they are men. it puts men in a horrible position. they are distrusted simply because they are men. and it would break the hearts of many men to know how suspicious people can be.
post #80 of 148
Quote:
Originally Posted by MusicianDad View Post
If the boys cover up, the pedophiles will still be there and still watch. Just because you wouldn't do it, doesn't mean that someone should have "taught them better." Clearly someone felt that teaching them to be comfortable with the human form as it was intended was more important.


Quote:
Originally Posted by LionessMom View Post
DS likes to share that kind of info with me. he was so excited about it that he came running to tell me he found his first. i didnt look to confirm. he had just turned 13. 3 mo later he was being a goof and flashed me (topic for another thread). apparently it grew by leaps and bounds. i am happy for him. he is so proud to have finally caught up with the other boys in his class (you know they take showers after football practice right). he delights in his growing and changing body. i would like to help him celebrate this change rather than shy away from it. puberty is hard enough as it is.
This sounds very healthy, LionessMom

Quote:
Originally Posted by eclipse View Post
I can't answer the question because my oldest is still too young for that, but I'm a little weirded out that so many people are weirded out at the thought of seeing a kid older than 8 or so naked. My son will be 8 in a few months and I doubt that between then and now he's going to suddenly cover up. Heck, he sees dh and me naked. I guess we're a naked family .
Quote:
Originally Posted by runnerbrit View Post
My ds was proud when he got his first hair and ran in to tell dh and me. For him it is the beginning of a rite of passage on the way to becoming a man. I am thankful he is comfortable enough to share the milestone w/ us.
I agree that is great that he has no shame regarding his changing body and is excited to share his joy about the natural transformation.

Quote:
Originally Posted by msladida View Post
Thanks for this thread. I personally find it comforting to hear other parents experiences with these things. I just discovered that my 8 year old dd now has pubic hair. Whoa. I wasn't really expecting this so soon.
Its comforting to hear all the sweet stories about kids who like to tell their parents things. I hope my dd continues to feel she can trust me enough to share stuff throughout puberty.
I completely respect her privacy-I know I wanted it when I was going through that! But its also cool to get to have my 2 cents about body changes,puberty and the like. If she trusts me enough to share, I am honored and would never tell her it is TMI!
I'm glad I know that she is starting some changes, because it explains her recent COMPLETELY IRRATIONAL behavior, and makes me have more compassion around that. (Hey, I too was a hormonal emotional mess only 5 months ago only for a different reason.)
Also, we haven't done a ton of talking about puberty and sex, and I am now thinking I'd like to introduce that book I got her a while back but have been saving. I thought it would be another year or two at least before it became real relevant.
My sons are both little, but I don't think its at all abnormal for a boy to talk to his mom about these things. Unusual, I think, but not wrong or bad.
I don't relate to my kids a whole lot differently because of their gender, and I would welcome my sons using me as a friend and resource during puberty. In fact, I really think these boys who talk to their mamas and are comfortable with themselves must be very healthy. Puberty is such a tough time- the more confident kids feel and the more trustworthy resources they have for information and support, the better. Come on, how could that be unhealthy?

Also, I want to add my input as someone who has worked in sexual assault prevention, on the whole sexual abuse issue. Sexual abuse has nothing to do with whether a family is nude around each other or not.
The level of modesty around bodies is a cultural and personal issue that I'm quite certain has no bearing on a child's risk of being molested. There are many places in the world where it is ordinary for family members of all ages to bathe together, and it does not result in more sexual abuse.
I would say the same goes for public swimming nudity. That is not the typical situation that results in a kid being abused, though it is possible that a pedophile could be scoping out a public swimming area. Swimsuit or not, though, is not going to make a great deal of difference in their risk level in terms of sexual assault. If they are scoping kids out, they will be regardless of swimsuit or not.
Abuse happens to kids in families that have very strict codes of modesty, and in fact, may be more easy to keep a secret in these families since there may be a lot of quiet and shyness about bodies. Really, it can happen to anyone.
I would say our style is sort of middle of the road about these issues. In my house, my husband is modest and I am not. My kids get to choose how modest they want to be, though we have rules against clothing that we think is sexualizing, and we do make our children wear clothing in public after they are not babies. Also, we don't allow our littles to touch their genitals in front of people, mostly because its awkward and embarrassing! I also don't allow sex play between children in my house. I don't judge people who have different ways of dealing with these things.
The important thing is that kids feel loved, respected, and safe, and that they know their body is special. How conservative or liberal you are on these issues is not at all the point.
The only inoculation against sexual abuse is making sure your kids are self-confident, and can talk to you. It sounds like these families are doing a pretty amazing job with that, so I'd say their kids are likely at a lower risk of sexual exploitation than a lot of kids. Safe to say if anything happened, they know they could tell their mom. I think its great.
I agree with your post Msladida.


I voted '11' for my 12 year old stepson... he wanted his vote to count. (He was reading over my shoulder and told me to vote 11 for him.) He also wants to add that he thinks the average is between the ages of 10 and 14.
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