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Natural or epidural - Page 2

post #21 of 106
Quote:
Originally Posted by tndixiemom View Post
I did experience the power of what my body can do. I just didn't experience the pain. Birth is not about the pain. I will never understand why people feel it is ok to think someone missed out on birth or that their birth was more special or amazing than someone who had an epidural. I would never dismiss someone who had an unmedicated birth, but for some reason it is ok to do it if you had the epidural.



Save your pity for people who really need it. I am now 9 weeks pregnant with my second child. I will be opting for the epi. I did the same with my first. I did feel my birth. I felt the joy. I felt the love. I felt the awesome power of knowing my baby was coming into the world. I do not feel that pain would have enhanced any of that and I think it is insulting to insinuate that a medicated birth is an unfeeling one. You feel many many things.

I think everyone should get the birth they want. If someone wants an unmedicated birth, I think that that is what they should get. If someone wants a medicated birth, they should get it. They should also be able to get them without the judgement and without someone telling them that they are not having the right birth. Birth is such an intimate, personal experience and no one should be put down or pitied because they go a different way than someone else.
As for the first comment, she was refering to having a c/s.
post #22 of 106
Quote:
Originally Posted by tndixiemom View Post
I did experience the power of what my body can do. I just didn't experience the pain. Birth is not about the pain. I will never understand why people feel it is ok to think someone missed out on birth or that their birth was more special or amazing than someone who had an epidural. I would never dismiss someone who had an unmedicated birth, but for some reason it is ok to do it if you had the epidural.
I was at no time dismissing an epidural birth for those who choose it. What I did say is that *I* would not choose it. And having done labour and birth *both* ways (well, I didn't push my 2nd baby out, but I did labour up to that point, with an epi at the end while they were prepping for surgery), I can tell you honestly that an epidural removes more sensation than just the pain. And for me, the pain was no big deal, and the other physical sensations that go away with an epidural are important, so for me it's not a worthwhile trade. I'm sorry you feel so defensive, I am not in any way judgemental about other peoples' informed birth choices and regret that you got that from my post.

Quote:
I think everyone should get the birth they want. If someone wants an unmedicated birth, I think that that is what they should get. If someone wants a medicated birth, they should get it. They should also be able to get them without the judgement and without someone telling them that they are not having the right birth. Birth is such an intimate, personal experience and no one should be put down or pitied because they go a different way than someone else.
Yep. We're on the same page. I was forced into a medicated labour and surgical birth when I needed ncb. I was robbed. It is a horrible thing to have someone else's birth forced upon you, and I wouldn't wish it on anybody.
post #23 of 106
Thread Starter 
Thanks for all your replies ladies. I have to say if it were not for us doing a home birth it would be very hard for me not to ask for the epidural. In the hospital you can't walk around and move and that helps a lot with the pain of labor. It would be hard to not ask for the epidural too since it's right there.
post #24 of 106
I planned a homebirth and luckily was able to birth my daughter like planned at home without being transferred to a hospital..I had a 4 hour pushing phase, and if I was in the hospital, I would most definitely been taken to th OR for a C-section. I am so happy I was able to stay home...i wouldn't want it any other way.
post #25 of 106
IMO, getting an epi by choice isn't just about the birth that the mother wants but the effects that it has on the baby and the major effects it can have on the mother which would potentially destroy the bonding, nursing and nurturing relationship between her and the baby.

http://www.mothering.com/articles/pr.../epidural.html
post #26 of 106
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by janasmama View Post
IMO, getting an epi by choice isn't just about the birth that the mother wants but the effects that it has on the baby and the major effects it can have on the mother which would potentially destroy the bonding, nursing and nurturing relationship between her and the baby.

http://www.mothering.com/articles/pr.../epidural.html
I get that, really I do, but when you go to a dr. whom you trust and they tell you it's okay, it gets a little confusing. Besides the fact that I hear women say all the time well many other women do it and they are okay. Sometimes there just isn't much you can say or do, but we do need to make sure we are supporting each other. I have two sister-in-laws that are pregnant and due either on my due date or two days after and they already have their minds made up. One thought of doing a homebirth, but now that she's pregnant I think she has changed her mind. Actually the whole reason I asked the question was to get a feel for why people make the choices they do. I was scared out of my wits end with my first son. I had no dought I was going to do epi, but honestly we didn't have good insurance and I had no idea how we were going to pay for a hospital birth. Then a friend mentioned to me a homebirth, which honestly sounded like it would have to be so much more expensive. I decided to look into it and I realized I knew nothing about birth before, but once I did I wanted to do a homebirth. Sadly it didn't work out because my water was broken for two days with little progression. He was born on the third day and it was actually an okay birth, but I knew I wanted to try for the homebirth again and was able to birth my second son at home as I will be trying to do again this time. People don't see the beauty in birth anymore. I have had it both ways and I can say there is something so beautiful about going natural and in your own home. All that being said, I still think we should support each other. If I knew how to change my sil minds, trust me I would, but I can't. So, I'm going to stand by them for whatever decisions they make. It's hard not to judge, but it's not really my place to do so.
post #27 of 106
you know what's funny, for me not having or having an epidural never played into my decision. I didn't want to give birth in a hospital I wanted to have my baby at home or at a birthing center so that decision ruled an epidural out for me.

The thing I enjoyed about NOT having an epidural ( I can't go under general anesthesia so for my joint surgeries I am given and epidural and valium)
1) I gave birth in a hottub in a squat.
2) I showered about 35 minutes after birth.
3) No epidural headache
4) no tingling sensation as the nerves came back

Things I would have enjoyed with an epidural
1) less stress on my husband
2) a less frantic state at one point during transition I felt so completey anxious and out of control and that resounded with me for a few days after birth

So for me I feel there is good and bad with an epidural. this little one will be natural at a birth center again, so I guess for me the birth experience outweighs the positives of an epidural birth.
post #28 of 106
I planned - and had - a totally natural VBAC birth. Honestly, I never considered an epidural, nor did it ever cross my mind to ask for anything for pain when I was in labor at the hospital. I had great labor support (my mom, a CNM), and it was great. Reasons? I knew I could do it. I wanted the experience. I wanted to feel the powerful feeling of having a baby with no help other than some great support.

Honestly, it was the hardest thing I've ever done - and worth every minute of it. I'd do it again in a heartbeat!! SOOOO worth it!
post #29 of 106
DH and I area planning a non medicated vaginal birth. The thought of trying to hold still while someone shoves a needle in my spine and then a catheter up my bladder freaks me out sooo much more than a 10lb baby shooting out my body.
post #30 of 106
We're having a homebirth, so unless I transfer an epidural is obviously out of the question. I'll admit I'm more than a little worried about the pain, especially since I'm told I have a low pain threshold. But every female ancestor that I know of has had a successful unmedicated childbirth, so I'm pretty sure I can too.

I don't want the added recovery time that an epidural brings, I don't want to risk an epidural fever and the additional interventions that are "necessary" when one occurs (namely, forced IV antibiotics and a spinal tap for my poor baby). Also hospitals just skeeve me out in general. They're filthy, germy places that should (in my humble, layman's opinion) be avoided unless you have to be there. My body is healthy and my baby is too, so I don't have to be there.

It's not about earning your stripes or anything. It's about not wanting the added complication and inconvenience and danger that more medical interventions inevitably add to the birth.
post #31 of 106
I have had two completely and totally natural births already, and #3 is coming in March. I've never had a birth in a hospital so it's never been an option either.

Epidurals give an unecessary risk to both mom and baby. Why take that chance when natural is an option? That I will never understand.
post #32 of 106
Quote:
Originally Posted by amydidit View Post
I have had two completely and totally natural births already, and #3 is coming in March. I've never had a birth in a hospital so it's never been an option either.

Epidurals give an unecessary risk to both mom and baby. Why take that chance when natural is an option? That I will never understand.
Maybe because you've already had two very (exceptionally) painful completely natural births, and even the thought of having another medication-free birth makes you want to shoot yourself in the head, right now.

If someone had offered me a gun or a knife during the last 2 hours of my ds' birth, I probably wouldn't be alive now to comment on how unpleasant it was. (It was a 100% natural home waterbirth, and the worst physical experience of my life.) If you visit the birth trauma area, you'll see that I'm not alone in having a natural birth like this.

Sometimes, birth is absolutely horrible, no matter what you do right (herbs, chiro, positioning, hypnotherapy, meditation, relaxation, birth ball, great support from partner & HCP, etc.). Preferring death over going through that experience makes an epidural quite possibly worth the risk, particularly if the unavailability of the epidural option would result in the mother either choosing against her desires to have more children or seeking an abortion in the event of an unintended pregnancy when having the actual child is desired.

I'm not exaggerating. I think pain avoidance is a valid reason for choosing an epidural. Please do try to understand. It's not an easy decision for a natural-minded mama to face.
post #33 of 106
Quote:
Originally Posted by Romana9+2 View Post
Maybe because you've already had two very (exceptionally) painful completely natural births, and even the thought of having another medication-free birth makes you want to shoot yourself in the head, right now.

If someone had offered me a gun or a knife during the last 2 hours of my ds' birth, I probably wouldn't be alive now to comment on how unpleasant it was. (It was a 100% natural home waterbirth, and the worst physical experience of my life.) If you visit the birth trauma area, you'll see that I'm not alone in having a natural birth like this.

Sometimes, birth is absolutely horrible, no matter what you do right (herbs, chiro, positioning, hypnotherapy, meditation, relaxation, birth ball, great support from partner & HCP, etc.). Preferring death over going through that experience makes an epidural quite possibly worth the risk, particularly if the unavailability of the epidural option would result in the mother either choosing against her desires to have more children or seeking an abortion in the event of an unintended pregnancy when having the actual child is desired.

I'm not exaggerating. I think pain avoidance is a valid reason for choosing an epidural. Please do try to understand. It's not an easy decision for a natural-minded mama to face.
mama

I think when most of us here say that we wouldn't or don't understand someone who would simply choose to have an epidural it's not including situations and circumstances like what you have faced.

I think it is more directed at the lack of education and/or fear that our culture has placed on birthing.

Your situation is really an uncommon one and not one that most people contemplate when thinking of birth.

post #34 of 106
I was up and walking around for both my hospital births. Still hurt like Heck! And i labored in water. Still hurt like Heck! (heck being the nicest term I can possibly use) Hooray for those who's births didn't hurt. Mine most certainly did!!! And laboring at home hurt too for those who might implicate the hospital environment for causing anxiety/pain.

I had absolutely NO fear of birth. I was freakin' thrilled to be having my babies. And it still hurt.

FWIW, I was up and walking within 1 hour after my epi was turned off both times ( I was nursing the babes the whole time after so I didn't have much need to get up before that anyway). And both girls nursed like it was going outta style. I didn't plan on having epidurals with either birth, but I have absolutely nothing negative to say about the experience. I know that with #1, it saved me from a c/s.
post #35 of 106

h

Quote:
Originally Posted by tndixiemom View Post
I did experience the power of what my body can do. I just didn't experience the pain. Birth is not about the pain. I will never understand why people feel it is ok to think someone missed out on birth or that their birth was more special or amazing than someone who had an epidural. I would never dismiss someone who had an unmedicated birth, but for some reason it is ok to do it if you had the epidural.



Save your pity for people who really need it. I am now 9 weeks pregnant with my second child. I will be opting for the epi. I did the same with my first. I did feel my birth. I felt the joy. I felt the love. I felt the awesome power of knowing my baby was coming into the world. I do not feel that pain would have enhanced any of that and I think it is insulting to insinuate that a medicated birth is an unfeeling one. You feel many many things.

.
its this attitude i pity. if you feel a pre-planned medicated birth on a low risk pregnancy is equal to a drug free as little intervention as possible birth, there is no reason to get defensive. of course having a healthy safe baby is the most important outcome of childbirth. i feel that this attitude about an epi sends a message to women to fear the pain of childbirth. its the same as famous people who purposely choose a c-section.

some people commented on how if they had their baby in the hospital they knew that they would end up asking for pain relief when the pain got too unbearable. so they choose to birth at home where no drugs are available.i can totally understand both comments.

another person commented about that euphoric feeling you have from accomplishing a intervention free birth. this is how i felt with my last two births. it makes me want to have more children. i have two healthy beautiful children from my first two births that where i felt dissapointed in how unnatural they where. i had iv's ,drugs, constant monitering,forceps. i did not feel high off those experiences.

to me the thought of being numb and not in control is scarier than the thought of pain itself.
post #36 of 106
I had a natural HB. I don't take to meds well and didn't want to be fighting my way at the hospital in order to have a NCB with evidence based care. (FWIW I don't believe the typical hospital routine is evidence based for low risk pregnancies.)
post #37 of 106
my mom is paralyzed from the waist down on her left side and has to have a colostomy bag because of her epidural with my sister 16 years ago. I was 10 when she was born and was there for the entire labor and birth. Needless to say, it left a huge impression on me. I remember when they put the needle in my mom's spine, she cried out and said that she felt lightning all through her legs. The doctor just told her to breath through it and she was fine. My mom did get a substantial settlement, but she's forever disabled because of a choice to not feel pain for a few hours (and the all too common negligence of hurried doctors). After seeing what my mom has gone through I had no doubt that I would have a natural homebirth....and I did! There are HUGE risks that really need to be considered. I think too many mothers make the decision uninformed.
post #38 of 106
Quote:
its this attitude i pity. if you feel a pre-planned medicated birth on a low risk pregnancy is equal to a drug free as little intervention as possible birth, there is no reason to get defensive.
I don't get your attitude. I didn't get the least bit defensive. I stated how I felt during my medicated birth and how I do get irritated when people assume that I didn't feel anything during birth. If you want to pity me, then go ahead. I do feel my birth was equal to someone's feelings over an unmedicated birth FOR ME. That euphoric feeling, I got because I was happy with my experience. I was and still am happy with my birth. I know it is a birth that would not be ideal for someone else. I get that. I hope that person gets the birth that makes them happy. Please don't project your unhappiness and defensiveness over your birth onto me because I am happy with my epidural birth. They are both valid.
post #39 of 106
bug, I was up about an hour after they turned the epi off, too. I also never had a catheter. That was never even mentioned during the birth.
post #40 of 106
Quote:
Originally Posted by tndixiemom View Post
I did experience the power of what my body can do. I just didn't experience the pain. Birth is not about the pain. I will never understand why people feel it is ok to think someone missed out on birth or that their birth was more special or amazing than someone who had an epidural. I would never dismiss someone who had an unmedicated birth, but for some reason it is ok to do it if you had the epidural.



Save your pity for people who really need it. I am now 9 weeks pregnant with my second child. I will be opting for the epi. I did the same with my first. I did feel my birth. I felt the joy. I felt the love. I felt the awesome power of knowing my baby was coming into the world. I do not feel that pain would have enhanced any of that and I think it is insulting to insinuate that a medicated birth is an unfeeling one. You feel many many things.

I think everyone should get the birth they want. If someone wants an unmedicated birth, I think that that is what they should get. If someone wants a medicated birth, they should get it. They should also be able to get them without the judgement and without someone telling them that they are not having the right birth. Birth is such an intimate, personal experience and no one should be put down or pitied because they go a different way than someone else.
I dont believe that anyone is trying to say that someone that had a medicated birth didn't have an awesome experience, no one wants to dismiss you or your experience. I understand what they mean though, my first I had an epi, signed up for that when I was a young teenager. I figured why go through pain when you dont have to? But with dd this time around I desired a homebirth rather than hospital, and obviously you wont get an epi at home. I began reading other homebirth stories and became very excited about labor and looked forward to a raw natural labor and delivery.

It was a completely different experience, soooo incredibly empowering! It's an addictive feeling!
From someone who's done both I can say that the only way I will birth is ah-natural at home with dh. Btw I want between 4 and 8 kids, we'll see how many I can get dh to go for lol .
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