Hello all,
I am new to this thread, so forgive me if this seems redundant to you.
My husband and I are parents to three wonderful children. They are 8, 6 and 3. We have always discussed adoption as a way to grow our family. We would like to start the process soon. We would like to try and adopt a little girl from birth -2 (since our youngest child is 3).
Where we live, there are a lot of rules about adopting if you can biologically have children. We live in PA. Would anyone here have good information on where to start? We would like to do a domestic adoption. We would like to start the process by the beginning of the year but feel we have a lot ot learn.
Thanks if you read all of this. Take care!
Jen
I am new to this thread, so forgive me if this seems redundant to you.
My husband and I are parents to three wonderful children. They are 8, 6 and 3. We have always discussed adoption as a way to grow our family. We would like to start the process soon. We would like to try and adopt a little girl from birth -2 (since our youngest child is 3).
Where we live, there are a lot of rules about adopting if you can biologically have children. We live in PA. Would anyone here have good information on where to start? We would like to do a domestic adoption. We would like to start the process by the beginning of the year but feel we have a lot ot learn.
Thanks if you read all of this. Take care!
Jen
I'd start at the Adoptive Families Magazine website. They have tons of archived articles about all kinds of adoption, and adoption issues, and they're all organized well. Getting the magazine might be another good source of information for you.
It's a common slip-up when you first start out, so don't sweat it. Before going much further, though, you may want to check out a chart of positive adoption language...it'll be appreciated when you start calling agencies or reaching out more:
Our experience is with international adoption, but we looked at a lot of different ways to adopt at first. One of the things that surprised me, so maybe you are unaware, is that you don't have to go through an agency that is local to you. The way you worded something made me think you were only looking at local agencies, so if I read it wrong, I apologize. Something else is to call lots of agencies and request info packets. Although it is quicker to use the online forms, sometimes talking with an agency can help you get a feel for their program in addition to the materials they send. How do they talk about their birthmothers/fathers, incorrect "adoption language" in their information (like you mentioned earlier), are the children treated as a commodity or are their interests first and foremost. THose can be really good ways to narrow the pool. Is there lots of handholding and communication (for example, for all of the nightmare-ish government forms, our agency provides a line by line instruction sheet!), or are you expected to do the legwork? When dh and I were first starting out, we immediately crossed off any agencies that charged for an info packet. Next, we crossed of those that were too busy or impatient to answer some basic questions (including their acceptance criteria for adoptive parents, like income, health, etc. that they should have been upfront about) as well as the ones that didn't call back. We looked at fee structures--what was included, what was not; there should be minimal expenses upfront, the bulk of fees should be at placement. Are they all sunshine and roses, or does their information reflect an awareness of the pain and loss involved in adoption? Basicly, are they respectful of the process, or is it all about finding a baby for you? After all this, we ended up not starting the process for another several years, for a variety of reasons. We actually did 2 or 3 rounds of similar information gathering until it just clicked. I knew the moment I spoke with our agency that it was who we would be wrking with. Good luck, and keep asking questions!
