Parenting Suggestions Needed for 5 yo DD

[eles]

I need some parenting advice, in case anyone cares to help.

My DD, almost 6, has trouble behaving at school (kindergarten). She has actually been this way ever since she started in preschool two years ago. Occasionally she will act out during class. She tends to get herself (with the help of others) into a state where she cannot get serious and concentrate on the task at hand.

She really enjoys being silly and having fun, and she knows that it is not appropriate at school, but it’s like she can’t help herself. It becomes a big distraction to the teacher and the class. She will get going, giggling, being silly, with someone in class and when the teacher explains that it’s time to calm down and get serious the other child or children will usually stop and pay attention but DD just cannot or will not. She goes on and on until it’s pretty ridiculous and out of hand. Today she even knocked over a chair, three times, because she found it amusing. She continued disturbing the group for quite a while even though the teacher politely explained the reasons she should stop.

I don’t know why she does this. When we talk about it she says she understands that it is the wrong choice and she shouldn’t do it again. But, inevitably, she does it again. Usually talking with her will last a couple of months and then she’s at it again.

I know there are a lot worse behaviors out there but this is pretty bothersome to us. She is to the point where I think her teachers don’t even realize her capabilities because she sometimes acts out when the kids are working on important tasks, like today, reading aloud in class.

[sebandg'smama]

I have no real advice, but I didn't want to read and not post.

Have you met with her teacher to come up with some strategies?

Obviously she's looking for attention, so perhaps there might be ways that the teacher can give her positive attention somehow throughout the day. Like giving her some responsibility that she can fulfill successfully.

Good luck,
Melanie

[mama_mojo]

My son gets silly like this, and he needs a very firm, clear message and a hand on his shoulder and maybe physically guiding away from the spot. This gets less true as he gets older, but I just think it IS impossible for him to stop on his own with only a verbal command. Maybe your daughter is similar.

[aihcalappa]

Maybe she's just not ready to be in a school setting yet. Maybe the teacher's style is incomptible with your DD. Would it be an option to homeschool, or attend a more relaxed alternative school?
My DD is also very social and active, and has some impulse control issues. That is part of the reason we are homechooling her. We don't think she'd do well in a classroom setting.

[eles]

Thank you, ladies, for your responses.

sebandg'smama, yes, I think you are right. I think she is looking for attention too. She has been with different teachers throughout her time in preschool and, now, kindy. They have all been pretty attentive (of course they can obviously only give so much personal attention with a full class) yet DD just seems to go off like this anyway. I personally feel like they aren't firm enough and she tries to test how much they will allow. They (especially in preschool) are very sweet with the kids and I think she knows they won't go very far with discipline. I feel like DD thinks her teachers are truly her friends and doesn't get a sense of what a teacher/student relationship should be. She has had to go to the director's office twice in the past for disruptive behavior but I don't think she considered that to be a bad thing, you know? She just talked with the director and I wonder if that was just what she wanted anyway - some one on one time with someone was probably nice for her. I'll ask the teacher about some special task or something.

mama_mojo, I think I'll talk with the teacher about physically guiding/removing her if this happens again. In the past they have tried to get her to control herself by talking to her in front of the group. I can imagine that she looks around and sees other kids still smiling or giggling and it must be hard for her to just snap out of it.

appalachia, I do think that she is likely not ready for a standard school setting. I think she would really suffer in a public school. She is in a private school that has almost a montessori-type feel to it. I can't see how I could wait much longer for school though. She is almost 6 and needs to be in kindy - unless, of course, I could homeschool. I have considered it ever since having my kids but I think they would suffer socially because we live out in the country and do not have lots of other opportunities for them to play with other kids outside of our school's activities and those that come up with classmates, etc. I'd really love to find just the right homeschooling group but when I tried looking around for some in our area the ones I found just seemed so philosophically different than our family. I'll keep searching though.