Mamas trying to stay young...

[madsommer]

I'm 23, married and a mother to DS who is 8 months old. How do you keep yourself feeling young. I love being a SAHM, but man...sometimes when I'm baking bread and ironing DH's dress shirts, I start to feel about 20 years older than I actually am.

What do you do to keep yourself feeling young/hip/cool? I need to find something! Even DH keeps calling me grandma lately (due to my switch to glasses versus contacts and sweaters)

[annettemarie]

Moving to parenting issues.

[grniys]

I've had moments when I feel the same way! I'm only 22 and have a 16 month old. I've been married since I was 18. I'm very happy with my life, but I feel so much older than I am.

I take time to fix my hair. I put on a bit of makeup. When we have the finances, I buy nice clothes. I find if I make myself look good on the outside, I feel so much better. (And please, no replies about how something in my life must be missing for me to need a nice outward appearance- I'm perfectly happy with my life as it is. I just like to look pretty in addition.)

Joining playgroups and finding friends around your age in the same place in life you are is also a huge help.

And, I make sure I keep my own identity. I sew. It's a hobby and I love it and it's something that is "mine". I write. Not very often anymore, but it's also something that is only "mine". These things really, really help me feel better as a person and when I feel better, I feel younger.

[hsofia]

I'm not a mama yet, but my mom is very youthful and has always been so. She has three kids - the oldest she had at 18, the youngest at 26. She is frequently assumed to be in her late 20s to early 30s - but she is 50 years old.

Things she does: she stays connected, active, and engaged. Even when she was a SAHM, she was on the phone, talking to her friends. She kept up with what was going on, even if it was second hand. She volunteered at my school, and was always learning about new things (like homeschooling, vegetarianism) and adopting aspects of them into our lives. I think feeling young and looking young has a lot to do with attitude. My mom has a happy disposition, and even when the going has been tough (she's had health problems, and been divorced, and financial stresses), she maintains a positive outlook and doesn't beat herself up about things.

She doesn't overeat, and has maintained a nice figure - it hasn't been until the last year that she finally started putting on weight - now she's about 15 pounds heavier than she was in high school. I think feeling good about your body and taking care with your appearance is important to looking and feeling youthful, too.

[Greenmama2AJ]

LOL, I feel ya. I had my DS when I was 27, and now that I have a 15 mth old I am an old granny! ha
When I was 23 I was still out partying so I understand - babies really make you rein in the youth. I never thought I would actually want to go to bed at 7.30pm, nor did I think that I would happily stay in every Saturday night.

I think that the best way to stay young is to think young.
Get out with other young moms, though this can be harder than it sounds. Most of the playgroups here have older moms in their 30's and I'm a young one!
Buy some nice outfits.
Share the things that interest you with your children. Listen to music, dance.
Go out and take LO along (though this was hard at 8 mths) but it gets easier.
And keep fit. Fresh air and good skin always makes you feel a milion years younger!

[angelpie545]

I know how ya'll feel! I'm 26 with an eight year old and a five year old. Most of my friends have kids however, and we stay in contact a lot and go do things with each other, ext. Every once in awhile we'll get baby sitters and hit up the bars or the clubs just to get out for a bit and feel youthful. No one really drinks a lot or does any major partying or anything, but it does sure feel good to have some adult time. I try to keep up on everything my kids are doing, and be as active as I can. I also try to dress as nicely as I can, and be friendly. Attitude really does have a lot to do with it.

[madsommer]

Thanks for the replies ladies. It seems as though I just need to find some things that are just "me". And maybe I need to find some new friends around my age that at least have a few things in common with me other than children. I know age can just be a frame of mind, so I guess I just gotta change my thinking!

[ILoveMyBabyBird]

I feel your pain. I recently turned 26 and i feel sooo old. It just seems like everything i do is focused on the family. I've started couponing, and that can add a few years to you, let me tell yah. But i don't look old, and darn it, i'm not old, but i just feel it! I haven't been exercizing regularly, but when i do, that does make me feel more energetic.

I am trying to cut corners money wise, and one thing is eating out. My grandma would very rarely eat out, i remember going on a trip w/her and she brought all the food, etc. And at 14 i found that rather annoying. Now, here i am, 26, and turning my sister down for lunch b/c it will put us at our september food budget and I would like to have 25$ for groceries tomorrow. Oh, my grandma and i were always kindred spirits, perhaps thats why i feel older than what i am.

I don't know, i've always been frugal w/money, but not this frugal, and it makes me feel more responsible=older.

But alas, when i'm 50 and all my savings and penny pinching is done, then perhaps I'll be living like i'm 20, because we will be able to afford it!

[Breeder]

I always feel better/younger when I get outside for a walk, or do yoga and eat better. I had my big guy at 21 yo so I feel you. (My new guy I just had at the ripe "old" age of 27 hehe).

Get on the phone and connect to someone outside of your house. A friend, a sister, a cousin...etc. If possible try to eek out some alone-no baby time for yourself.

I've been taking online classes for long time and they make me feel: a) good about myself because I'm growing and learning in new ways, and b) happy to have something to talk about that isn't the kiddos or my DH etc. It keeps me from feeling old.

Stagnation makes you feel old. Just keep movin'.

[hsofia]

This is a really important one, that Breeder mentioned: having something to talk about other than kids and spouse. My baby isn't even born yet but I'm already starting to feel a little bored with talking about pregnancy and the baby. Whenever I go somewhere, my pregnancy becomes the conversation piece. I've gotten bored with myself and need to spice up my reading materials, and resume some non child related hobbies!

Originally Posted by Breeder

I've been taking online classes for long time and they make me feel: a) good about myself because I'm growing and learning in new ways, and b) happy to have something to talk about that isn't the kiddos or my DH etc. It keeps me from feeling old.

Stagnation makes you feel old. Just keep movin'.

[kirstenb]

Originally Posted by grniys

I take time to fix my hair. I put on a bit of makeup. When we have the finances, I buy nice clothes. I find if I make myself look good on the outside, I feel so much better. (And please, no replies about how something in my life must be missing for me to need a nice outward appearance- I'm perfectly happy with my life as it is. I just like to look pretty in addition.)

This sounds a lot like me. I like making myself look nice. I also like going to the gym when I have time, and reading if I have some spare moments, and staying up-to-date with current events. Taking some time for just me is really important, even if it's just a 20 minute bath.

I was married at 22 and had DS at 24, and sometimes I am envious of my single friends and the freedoms they have. When I start feeling that, it just means I haven't done anything for me in awhile.

[jocelyndale]

Pigtails and Doc Martens.

And I switch to radio from NPR to a good college rock station.

[Llyra]

I'm sorry. I posted this on the wrong thread. I feel silly now.

(I also think that in general mamas of very young ones are tied to home more, for so many reasons. Once kiddos reach school age, I think a lot of mamas either go back to work, or are kept busy with more out-of-the-house things and thus are less likely to be spending time on a board like this.)

Nevermind

[madskye]

I don't know if this will help but...

I will be 40 next year, and I still want to stay young! I look at pictures of myself from my 20's and think that I looked gorgeous then. I wish I hadn't been so hard on myself at the time. I'm a healthy enough person, but I definitely never thought my body was good enough, always wanted to be taller, have different hair, etc--I look at the pictures now and it all just seem so stupid! Because, really, I was pretty fab.

Chances are you look great--but if you don't feel great, working out or doing some yoga usually gives me a bit more of the healthy glow. If DH's calling you grandma hurts your feelings, you might want to gently let him know that. Or, if the glasses make you feel old, maybe you switch back to contacts or get hipper frames.

hugs to you! You're younger than springtime, even if you don't feel it.

[madsommer]

The bit about stagnation is very true. If all goes well I will be going back to school this next trimester to continue working on my bachelors.

And yeah - maybe I need to switch back to contacts and lose the big sweaters

I have started walking with DS every morning and I have noticed that I feel better in general.

I also am wondering if maybe what I am feeling is related to PPD in a way. I just recently went off the Zoloft :