how to help heal early trauma?

[sweetieberlin]

I have oftened wondered about ds, 23 months..

I was doing some reasearch on birth trauma, and came across this page about early trauma..

http://www.beba.org/intro/trauma.php#causes

ds has 8 of the causes listed as early trauma-

-stressful relationship between parents during pregnancy, infancy
-maternal stress, depression, fear during pregnancy (had weekly ultrasounds through pregnancy due to sch, and white spot found on heart, worried the whole pregnancy)
-c-section
-anestheia during c-section
-he was underweight for them (5lbs 11oz) so he was repeated taken away for long periods in the hospital
-maternal anxiety, ppd, and ptsd
-unresolved traumatic history in mother
-hospitilization in infancy (2 times, very very traumatic for him)

and according to this page he has several of the signs of the trauma affecting him-

-cross-eyes or divergent eyes
-inconsolable crying and crying without apparent cause (as a young infant)
-hypersensitivity to near or direct touch
-avoidance of eye-contact
-speech delays
-tantrums
-inappropriate aggression/timidity
-hypersensitivity
-tactile defensiveness (desire to not be touched)


I am working on my issues, ppd, and ptsd.. but how can I help him?? Is there something I can do? I live in Germany, so language is a problem.. plus I wouldnt know where to turn..

does anyone have any thoughts on this??

thank you so much..

[flapjack]

Well, my first thought is that anyone who claims that cross-eyes (or divergent) are a sign of birth trauma makes their money out of guilt-tripping parents : Two of mine have squints, as does their grandmother and the father of one, and they were both born speedily but gently at home. Family history has proven to have a pretty strong impact too, though I'm pretty sure prematurity and/or low birth weight are risk factors.
My second is that damn near our whole generation had traumatic births. Our mothers labours were induced, augmented, cut short by caesarean section, we were helped along by tugging and grasping and generally, I think it's pretty safe to say that our whole generation should be struggling with the effects of birth trauma- but we're not. What we are seeing, though, is a political climate that believes that early intervention is beneficial where children have delays because it increases their productivity in school (and consequent value in the workforce) and so we're looking for things like autistic spectrum disorders much more now than 30 years ago.
I say talk to your doctor about your concerns, and treat the symptoms. If you ascribe them to his entry into the world, then that leads to the blame game, and feelings of guilt, which is pretty darned pointless. Don't go there. The past is over and done with- so get his symptoms checked, but stop looking for one unifying cause.

[sweetieberlin]

I dont quite agree with you..

except for the part about the crossed eyes being a sign of trauma..

but to dismiss early trauma, I think is wrong.. I didnt chalk all of his problems up to his birth... but I believe there is a lot of evidence supporting the existence of birth trauma.. I feel though that more of his issues come from the fact that I spent 33 weeks anxious, crying every single day.. that cant be good for a developing baby to be constantly getting those hormones.. and also from the arguing he heard through the early months, and also the hospitalizations in the early months..

if you google early trauma, you will find quite a few pages.. and not all from someone trying to make money...
actually there is a good article on Mothering.com-

http://www.mothering.com/articles/ne...onnection.html

Sources of Stress for Infants
What kind of stress or trauma do babies experience? The emerging field of prenatal and perinatal psychology has taught us that, if the pregnant mother is anxious or depressed, babies can be stressed even before birth.16–18

In the absence of emotional healing, early trauma can have a lifelong impact. Studies have shown that complications at birth correlate with later susceptibility to psychological problems, including schizophrenia, drug abuse, depression, suicide, and violence

and also I dont blame myself.. only for arguing in front of him.. I did the best I could..

but please dont dismiss early trauma it is real....

[Greenmama2AJ]

I think that birth trauma can result in trauma to infants but I would think that 2 yrs of cosleeping, baby wearing and gentle attachment parenting has probably already done heaps to help heal your DS's soul.

It sounds like your DS does have a range of physical sensitivities. Whether these were directly caused by his traumatic birth, who knows, but there are several things you can do to assist.
Read Mary Kurcinka's book "Parenting your spirited child" - this book has some great tips for acknowledging and assisting children with sensory issues. It really helped me help our DS.
Lots of sand and water play. This helps with tactile defensiveness (not liking the sensation of touch).
Gentle massage.
Lots of outdoor time.

The aggression and tantrums are very common at 2 yrs. Help by providing good modelling and active play. Mary's book helps here too.

Finally, speech delays are common in boys. Encourage phonetic sounding out of objects. Work on oral defensiveness with gentle teeth brushing and chewing/sucking of hard and soft foods. Studies show children whose speech difficulties are not related to hearning difficulties, catch up by the age of 6. A recent study showed that parenting (including mental health of mother etc) had no effect on the speech development of children.

hth and goodluck