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UPDATE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So frustrated !!!!!!!  

post #1 of 25
9/26/08 at 6:30pm
Thread Starter 
So my midwife wants to do our first home visit and i'm so stressed because we just moved and i have no furniture in our townhouse !! I have 2 patio chairs and that is it. When we moved into our place we started over from scratch because my dd destroyed most of our furniture (no couch, bed, etc.) We are on a very tight budget right now. i'm in school full-time and dh is working. We plan to have everything before the baby comes in late november or early December. i just feel embarassed and stressed that we don't have things more together. i don't want to cancel our visit because this will be my first appointment with her since i switched to a HB. Any comments and or support appreciated !!!

UPDATE BELOW

I had my home visit yesterday with my midwife. And it was really great. She didn't care that i didn't have any furniture. My midwife has tons of Amish clients and she had been situations where it was really bare. i told her that we planned on getting some very soon and she told me with today's economy don't over do it. She said all we needed was some pillows and she'd make it out fine ! She loved our place because we have a very good view of the backyard (tons of tree's, birds, and deer) from our living room. She stayed and talked with me for 2 hours this was our first prenatal visit since i made the switch. Baby was doing fine though she has me taking cranberry supplements because i have a bladder infection. And she told me that the baby was head down and posterior. We've decided to birth in the living room since its where our water source is and the bathroom is close by. She comes back to visit me in 3 weeks !
post #2 of 25
9/26/08 at 7:19pm
I am sure she has seen worse.
post #3 of 25
9/26/08 at 7:34pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Daniel's Kitty View Post
I am sure she has seen worse.
: Seriously, I wouldn't worry about it.
post #4 of 25
9/26/08 at 7:41pm
If you have water, electricity, heat and some baby supplies she should be thrilled! Just explain the situation and if you feel judged or looked down on, GET a new MW! Im sure she will be very understanding. She probably has a bunch of kids and is envious of your simplicity. I am...
post #5 of 25
9/26/08 at 7:46pm
What is the purpose of this home visit? Do you mean it's time for a prenatal visit, and she only does home visits? Or does she have an office, but for some reason wants to come to your home this time? If she has an office, I would tell her that you've just moved and would appreciate it if you could do the home visit next month for your peace of mind. But if not, I really don't think it's a big deal for the midwife to see it.
post #6 of 25
9/26/08 at 10:42pm
We did a home visit on a couple that had just moved before. All they had was a mattress on the floor. By the time, we did the birth a week later they were a little more settled. We really are understanding of these kinds of things really. What we don't like is a house that reeks of animal poo, has cockroaches crawling everywhere, and is very filthy. Yep, did a birth for them twice. Not our favorite client.
post #7 of 25
9/27/08 at 2:47am
When I started scheduling things with my MW I had two choices: visit at her house or at my house. I chose mine. The first few visits I made sure everything was clean, I was presentable, etc. This morning I had my 30 week visit. Last week my fiance started working nights, and I switched my schedule to match, so 1pm is early morning. Plus I just picked up a lot more hours at work and didn't have time to fold all of the clean laundry and such. I answered the door dressed in his pajamas, with the living room a mess and a half-painted dresser in the front room. She could not have cared less, and completely understood about the schedule change messing with our organization. She is more concerned with the health and well-being of mama and baby than how disorganized the surroundings, as long as basic human necessities are present (running water, electricity).

Don't stress! and if you do, tell your MW you're a bit stressed about having her over when the house is a wreck and she will completely understand and not judge you, whether she sees the house empty or cozy and full of furniture.
post #8 of 25
9/27/08 at 2:58am
she will NOT care at all.
post #9 of 25
9/27/08 at 10:25am
Thread Starter 
omg ladies, i feel so much better. Like i'm in tears lol. thank you for all the responses. i really needed to hear that. I've decided not to cancel and just let her come. It was hard for me because i usually am so prepared and have everything setup. Even tho my house is not furnished it is very clean, organized, and uncluttered LOL.
post #10 of 25
9/27/08 at 1:58pm
It will be fine...don't worry. I'm sure your house is much cleaner than many she's seen
post #11 of 25
9/27/08 at 3:05pm
My midwife told me that as long as people have a working roof, electricity, indoor plumbing, and running water she doesn't care. I don't think she was exaggerating either. It made me wonder what kind of horrors she's seen in her many years of homebirth practice...

You sound clean and sane, mama, so I'm sure she won't mind a bit. Good luck and congratulations!
post #12 of 25
9/28/08 at 2:10pm
We've lived in our house for more than a year and still have virtually no furniture other than a bed and a kitchen table. Our midwife came and sat on the floor with us during our home visit. It was fine. And kind of fun and cozy.
post #13 of 25
9/28/08 at 10:07pm
Thread Starter 
just wanted to say thanks again ladies !!!
post #14 of 25
9/29/08 at 12:53pm
Just wanted to offer support. No good suggestions. We didn't expect this pregnancy & were in the middle of renovating the house. Our whole upstairs is torn down to the 2x4's so we are living 100% downstairs. The downstairs is 600 sq. ft in one giant room, so its kind of like "welcome to my house, this is the kitchen/dining room/landry room (yup the washer dryer are right there)/living room/bedroom/closet(hung up clothing racks on an empty wall) it looks like hell, but is functional and we didn't have the money to "hurry up" and finish the upstairs before the baby. I'm not that worried about the midwife, she seems really non-judgemental and I think she will see that we are working with the situation and its just going to be "cozy" for a bit, what I am worried about is the visitors after the birth. I'm DREADING people coming to visit .

Anyways, I'm sorry your in a similar place, but I'm sure in a year or so when we get everything the way we want it we'll be very happy in our houses
post #15 of 25
9/29/08 at 12:55pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by peainthepod View Post
My midwife told me that as long as people have a working roof, electricity, indoor plumbing, and running water she doesn't care. I don't think she was exaggerating either. It made me wonder what kind of horrors she's seen in her many years of homebirth practice...

You sound clean and sane, mama, so I'm sure she won't mind a bit. Good luck and congratulations!
That sounds strict to me! What about amish/menonite families? Many around here don't have electricity or indoor plumbing.
post #16 of 25
9/29/08 at 12:56pm
Not all midwives are suited to working in Amish environments, nor do we all live anywhere near an Amish community for it to be an issue.
post #17 of 25
9/29/08 at 1:02pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kim919 View Post
That sounds strict to me! What about amish/menonite families? Many around here don't have electricity or indoor plumbing.
If you find any Amish or Mennonite communities in NYC, let me know.
post #18 of 25
10/1/08 at 3:43pm
I do not get to post often, as keeping a little too busy lately...but had to smile at the comments about electricity, water etc...!
I am one of those midwives who work with the Amish, both 'old order' and 'newer-more modern' Amish families .....
The more modern-will have running water-cold and hot, and full indoor plumbing (toilet inside, with tub and shower) -good 'oil' lamps, gas powered frig, freezer and stove...actually very nice homes!!

**but the older order usually will have very old propane style cooking stoves, or on their wood/ kitchen stoves, maybe a pump for water in the house-(yes a 'old' fashioned hand pump), no tub or bathroom at all, all have out houses...usually a 2 or 3 seater if they are a large family, with newspaper and phone books used (yes really-T.P. is for the guests and church days), very poor lighting, use oil lamps, but have very few..usually they have an Ice house (not the kind you fish in) but an actual shed loaded with ice blocks they have cut from the lake in the winter.......Yes, I could tell some wonderful tales!

At these births, we still heat up water on the old wood stove, for any baths (very hard to do a water birth for these women), warm blankets on the warming wrack part of the stove, (gotta be careful of fires!)

I have to admit, I do enjoy the electricity and indoor plumbing...(and carry my own T.P. in the car for those who do not have it!)
post #19 of 25
10/2/08 at 10:18am
I recently has the possiblity of an Amish couple hiring me. I had no concerns about the fact that they didn't have modern amenities. Until I walked in the house and thought, "oh yeah, no electricity means no a/c. Good thing the baby is due in January."
Oh, and we had one couple that only had a composting toilet.
post #20 of 25
10/3/08 at 11:02am
if you have a clean, neat house that looks well taken care of I'm sure it will be fine. just explain you just moved and haven't order/bought the new furniture yet. I'm sure she will understand.
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Mothering › Forums › Pregnancy and Birth › Birth and Beyond › Homebirth › UPDATE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So frustrated !!!!!!!