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Pregnant after IF/loss

post #1 of 369
Thread Starter 
In reading through some of the other threads, it seemed to me that a few of us have gone through infertility or loss. Personally, I am finally pregnant after 16 cycles trying. I had a short luteal phase in all of those cycles but one, which you may know can cause miscarriage. And even though I _think_ I figured out what was causing the problem (my thyroid) and I think I've got it fixed, now that I am pregnant I have a weird mix of feelings that I didn't have last time: FINALLY : but maybe not :. I am ecstatic but also really nervous. : Can anyone relate?

Roll Call:

:::Pregnant:::

BlissfullyLoving~~pregnant after a loss in January
Critty~~Cristie~~pregnant via surrogate after a year of pursuing surrogacy and after an adoption attempt
WeasleyMum~~Mara~~pregnant after four miscarriages in the past year and a half
no5no5~~June~~pregnant after a year of IF
sonuptosondown~~Deb~~pregnant after two losses
heatherh~~pregnant after two m/c since April '06
erin_brycesmom~~pregnant after m/c and IF
Kwgrlup~~Janet~~pregnant after two years of IF and an early loss in February
alisoninparis~~pregnant after a self-treated short LP
seafox~~pregnant after missed m/c
sunflwrmoonbeam~~Ashley~~pregnant after 2 chemical pregnancies and a miscarriage
ManifestBaby~~pregnant via IVF after 5 1/2 years TTC
ChrissieColinsMom~~pregnant after a recent m/c
Shy0717~~Shy~~pregnant after a loss in January
mrsfatty~~Katie~~pregnant after four losses
Voltige~~pregnant after TTC for well over a year
Girlo~~Shannon~~pregnant after TTC for 3.5 years and 5 losses
maryjane~~Mara~~pregnant after a m/c last fall
nattysmum07~~Shannon~~pregnant after three losses, including a 19-week loss due to Acrania
TrishWSU~~Trish~~pregnant (traditional surrogate) after two miscarriages
ktmama~~pregnant after two losses
MisaGoat~~pregnant after a miscarriage in July
MiracleMama~~pregnant after a miscarriage

In Our Thoughts

mmpmelmack
La Marmotte
ann_of_loxley
dani76
post #2 of 369
I CAN TOTALLY RELATE!!!!!! how are suppossed to be happy when every other time you M/C???? how are you not suppossed to worry? how are you suppossed to be at all? I just dont know. all I iknow is that I am treating this as a normal PG, so I am happy, I talk to the "baby", and tell it how much we love it and want it, that it needs to stick down tight! I am also not keeping this a secrect, its too hard after 6 M/C to pretend like nothing is happening, I need to tell people, they need to know why I am happy, and scared, and a little crazy! so in short I totally get it.
post #3 of 369
Yes, I can relate. I had a loss in January. I feel, oddly, at peace right now, but nervous because I am so early. I am only 9 dpo. I only tested because I had to buy a dress today for a wedding that I am in the week before my edd, ha ha. I think after the first trimester I will start to feel at ease, but I am optimistic right now. We will see how I feel tomorrow.
post #4 of 369
We have not experienced loss in terms of losing a baby (which I cannot even imagine how awful it is), but we have experienced loss through not even being able to try to get pregnant. When I was 30 (just before we were going to start trying) I came down with an autoimmune disease (chronic urticaria which means hives), but I also go into anaphylatic shock when I eat most foods, smell chemicals and go off birth control. I have a 30% chance of mortality if I become pregnant/go into labor.

We tried to adopt, but there are just not many babies avilable in Ontario (there were less than 150 adopted last year - which is good for the moms and babies, just not people looking to adopt) and I cannot travel outside of North America. I always have to be within 20 mins of a hospital.

We have been persuing surrogacy for a year now, and there have been many set backs along the way (on our second surrogate, 3rd egg donor, 3rd fertility clinic), so we have certainly felt some loss. I am trying to focus on the positive and our amazing surrogate has had 3 healthy children and had strong beta numbers, but it is still very scary. I also feel left out of the process, which does hurt sometimes, but I know it will be worth it in the end.

I really hope we all have healthy, fabulous pregnancies!!!!

Christie
post #5 of 369
for all of us. I hope we all have our babies to hold in our arms in June. Congratulations to all of you!
post #6 of 369
Thread Starter 
I have been telling people too. With my first pregnancy, nobody knew we were trying so it was easy to keep it a secret. But this time everyone knows because we've been so frustrated, etc. I have already told three people, and I'm afraid I will blurt it to anyone who even mentions the topic. LOL.

But I had a friend who recently miscarried and she had told everyone and then, right after the miscarriage, she had to un-tell them. Actually, she asked me to help with that, and it was so hard for me to tell people she'd had a miscarriage that I can't even imagine how hard it would be to tell people about my own miscarriage. I just really hope it doesn't happen. Ugh. I can't believe I am only 4 weeks and I have to wait another 8-9 weeks before I can sort of relax. I wish I could fast-forward through it. I feel like I shouldn't start bonding with the baby, but maybe that is a mistake too. I just don't know.

Critty, that is a crazy situation. I am so happy you are finally pregnant. : It must be hard, though, having to rely on a surrogate. I hope you are going to all the prenatal visits, etc.? Also, Critty, you have an allergic reaction to NOT taking birth control pills? That's crazy.
post #7 of 369
no5no5 - yes, how crazy is that? In fact i am sensitive to most "natural" things, including most food (I have a diet of 10 things), any essential oils, any natural skin care item, etc. Frustrating, but I have gotten a handle on it now. The thing I am most upset about is I probably won't be able to breastfeed, because I can't take any of the teas or meds to induce lactation and can't get off the b/c pill. Luckily my SIL said she would pump some for me and I hope to get to know some other breastfeeding mamas in the area. I wonder if some of my autoimmune problems are because I was formula fed, so it is important to get some breastmilk in my babe.

Crossing my fingers and toes, we all make it to late May or June with beautiful, healthy, happy babies!!!!!!
post #8 of 369
Quote:
Originally Posted by no5no5 View Post
I have been telling people too. With my first pregnancy, nobody knew we were trying so it was easy to keep it a secret. But this time everyone knows because we've been so frustrated, etc. I have already told three people, and I'm afraid I will blurt it to anyone who even mentions the topic. LOL.

But I had a friend who recently miscarried and she had told everyone and then, right after the miscarriage, she had to un-tell them. Actually, she asked me to help with that, and it was so hard for me to tell people she'd had a miscarriage that I can't even imagine how hard it would be to tell people about my own miscarriage. I just really hope it doesn't happen. Ugh. I can't believe I am only 4 weeks and I have to wait another 8-9 weeks before I can sort of relax. I wish I could fast-forward through it. I feel like I shouldn't start bonding with the baby, but maybe that is a mistake too. I just don't know.
I cannot believe I am not blurting it to everyone. I feel like I have a happy, guilty face for everyone.

I have to agree that calling everyone to tell them that our baby died was the hardest. We thought the people we told were the people we want to know we had a loss. We thought their support would make it easier. It was the exact opposite. People say horrific, stupid things (including dh's grandma comforting us with, "at least you did not lose a baby"...not sure what the thing was growing in me). The lack of support and love made the situation so much worse.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Critty View Post
no5no5 - yes, how crazy is that? In fact i am sensitive to most "natural" things, including most food (I have a diet of 10 things), any essential oils, any natural skin care item, etc. Frustrating, but I have gotten a handle on it now. The thing I am most upset about is I probably won't be able to breastfeed, because I can't take any of the teas or meds to induce lactation and can't get off the b/c pill. Luckily my SIL said she would pump some for me and I hope to get to know some other breastfeeding mamas in the area. I wonder if some of my autoimmune problems are because I was formula fed, so it is important to get some breastmilk in my babe.

Crossing my fingers and toes, we all make it to late May or June with beautiful, healthy, happy babies!!!!!!
I am really sorry that you have had such a difficult journey.

Even if you cannot get your own milk supply there is a supplementer (Lact-Aid and Medela SNS) you can use that has a tube at your nipple, so you can have the experience of breastfeeding even if it is not your milk. I know a woman that used it.
post #9 of 369
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by BlissfullyLoving View Post
I have to agree that calling everyone to tell them that our baby died was the hardest. We thought the people we told were the people we want to know we had a loss. We thought their support would make it easier. It was the exact opposite. People say horrific, stupid things (including dh's grandma comforting us with, "at least you did not lose a baby"...not sure what the thing was growing in me). The lack of support and love made the situation so much worse.
I am actually really afraid that I will not be as upset as other people might be. I mean, I expect to be upset and really freaking pissed off, but I don't expect to think of it, as many do, as the death of a child. Being pregnant just doesn't really seem real this early on, you know what I mean? Of course, who knows how I would really feel if it happened, but what I really hate is getting overreactions from people. Kind of like the opposite of what you experienced, I guess. I know my friend thought of it as the death of a child, and I understood her feeling that way (and certainly never invalidated her feelings), but I just don't think it will feel like that to me. Is that horrible?
post #10 of 369
Quote:
Originally Posted by no5no5 View Post
I am actually really afraid that I will not be as upset as other people might be. I mean, I expect to be upset and really freaking pissed off, but I don't expect to think of it, as many do, as the death of a child. Being pregnant just doesn't really seem real this early on, you know what I mean? Of course, who knows how I would really feel if it happened, but what I really hate is getting overreactions from people. Kind of like the opposite of what you experienced, I guess. I know my friend thought of it as the death of a child, and I understood her feeling that way (and certainly never invalidated her feelings), but I just don't think it will feel like that to me. Is that horrible?
No. I think it something that affects every person differently.

I am confused, did you ever have a loss? I see that you had another pregnancy. If not, I hope it is something that you (or anyone) ever has to experience. I hope you never have to learn how it will feel for you.
post #11 of 369
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by BlissfullyLoving View Post
No. I think it something that affects every person differently.

I am confused, did you ever have a loss? I see that you had another pregnancy. If not, I hope it is something that you (or anyone) ever has to experience. I hope you never have to learn how it will feel for you.
No, I didn't, that I know of. I am at high risk, due to a year-long history of short luteal phases and thyroiditis. So I am thinking about it like crazy. Or, I should say, like a crazy person. Thanks for the hug. But maybe what I really need is a bucket of cold water. Hey, where's the siggy for _that_??? lol
post #12 of 369
Quote:
Originally Posted by no5no5 View Post
No, I didn't, that I know of. I am at high risk, due to a year-long history of short luteal phases and thyroiditis. So I am thinking about it like crazy. Or, I should say, like a crazy person. Thanks for the hug. But maybe what I really need is a bucket of cold water. Hey, where's the siggy for _that_??? lol
That is what I thought, but I did not want to sound insensitive in case I missed it.

Luckily lp and thyroid problems are easily corrected, so hopefully your problems are behind you.

I understand worrying like crazy, ha ha. I am five days away from being late, and I had a little spotting last night (normal for pregnancy or before af for me). I am paranoid that this pregnancy will not make it through the week. After that I am sure I will be concerned I will not make it through the first trimester.
post #13 of 369
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by BlissfullyLoving View Post
Luckily lp and thyroid problems are easily corrected, so hopefully your problems are behind you.
Yeah, hopefully. Theoretically. The problem is that I just started on synthroid about a month ago and so it's not even stabilized yet. And I don't know whether I am taking enough or not. And I am not taking progesterone because in theory the short lp _could_ have been because of the thyroiditis. So I was (sort of) hoping to get pregnant _next_ cycle so that I could use _this_ cycle to see whether my lp was back to normal and, if not, to know that I should start taking progesterone, but of course that didn't happen. I know I need to stop thinking about it, but it's so hard.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BlissfullyLoving View Post
I understand worrying like crazy, ha ha. I am five days away from being late, and I had a little spotting last night (normal for pregnancy or before af for me). I am paranoid that this pregnancy will not make it through the week. After that I am sure I will be concerned I will not make it through the first trimester.
You are only 10 DPO? How early did you get a BFP?

You have had one m/c, right? And do you have any idea what caused it, or was it just one of those things? Sorry if that is too personal. I have a tendency to ask questions when I shouldn't, so please feel free to tell me to mind my own business.
post #14 of 369
Quote:
Originally Posted by no5no5 View Post
Yeah, hopefully. Theoretically. The problem is that I just started on synthroid about a month ago and so it's not even stabilized yet. And I don't know whether I am taking enough or not. And I am not taking progesterone because in theory the short lp _could_ have been because of the thyroiditis. So I was (sort of) hoping to get pregnant _next_ cycle so that I could use _this_ cycle to see whether my lp was back to normal and, if not, to know that I should start taking progesterone, but of course that didn't happen. I know I need to stop thinking about it, but it's so hard.
I have a friend that has thryoiditis and two kids. She has been on synthroid for years, and during pregnancy she always has to adjust her medication. Your numbers need to be different during pregnancy, so you get tested every month. I suspect that even if your dosage was perfect for non-pregnancy it might need to be tweaked for pregnancy. Good luck!

Quote:
Originally Posted by no5no5 View Post
You are only 10 DPO? How early did you get a BFP?
I am 11 dpo today. My lp is usually 14-15 days. I got my bfp at 9 dpo.

Well, actually there is a chance that I am 13 dpo today. I swear that I Oed and got pregnant two days before ff has it marked on my chart. The temp shift was not very great, and it really does look like I Oed when ff said. By the day that ff said I Oed I already had super sore breasts, which usually does not happen for me until two days after O. I looked it up, and I could not find anything that said you can have sore breasts before O since it is from a progesterone increase.

Quote:
Originally Posted by no5no5 View Post
You have had one m/c, right? And do you have any idea what caused it, or was it just one of those things? Sorry if that is too personal. I have a tendency to ask questions when I shouldn't, so please feel free to tell me to mind my own business.
Yes, I had a loss in January. We have no idea what caused it.
post #15 of 369
Ha, this is one thread I can definitely add myself to: we've had four miscarriages in the past year and a half, and no successful pregnancies. To say that I'm not too excited or hopeful about this one would be an understatement... I've been seeing an RE since March (just after our third m/c) to try to figure out what's wrong. They've tested me and the DH for everything under the sun (feels like, anyways) and *everything* tested just fine except for my progesterone level, which was really low.

Of course they're saying that there's "no reason" that this one won't be successful, but that's what they said last time... That one turned out to be anembryonic, which apparently is "just chance", but I don't believe that; I think something about having luteal phase defect AKA where the heck is my progesterone? makes it more likely to have those. Actually out of my four pregnancies only one of them for sure had a real live embryo at one point.

At this point, I'm trying to take things one day at a time. We had the betas and progesterone checked last week and they looked really good (hCG=89 at 13/14 DPO, 277 at 15/16 DPO, prog. at 34, 31). In two weeks we have the first ultrasound. If we see a :, I'll feel a little more positive, but we've seen a hearbeat before, too... Generally I'm a very positive, hopeful, optimistic person (you know, that annoying kind) so it's hard for me to acknowledge that this is (statistically) more likely to be our 5th m/c than our first baby, but I can't go through the upheaval of getting all excited, daydreaming and telling people, only to lose it. It's easier this way...
post #16 of 369
Quote:
Originally Posted by WeasleyMum View Post
Ha, this is one thread I can definitely add myself to: we've had four miscarriages in the past year and a half, and no successful pregnancies. To say that I'm not too excited or hopeful about this one would be an understatement... I've been seeing an RE since March (just after our third m/c) to try to figure out what's wrong. They've tested me and the DH for everything under the sun (feels like, anyways) and *everything* tested just fine except for my progesterone level, which was really low.

Of course they're saying that there's "no reason" that this one won't be successful, but that's what they said last time... That one turned out to be anembryonic, which apparently is "just chance", but I don't believe that; I think something about having luteal phase defect AKA where the heck is my progesterone? makes it more likely to have those. Actually out of my four pregnancies only one of them for sure had a real live embryo at one point.

At this point, I'm trying to take things one day at a time. We had the betas and progesterone checked last week and they looked really good (hCG=89 at 13/14 DPO, 277 at 15/16 DPO, prog. at 34, 31). In two weeks we have the first ultrasound. If we see a :, I'll feel a little more positive, but we've seen a hearbeat before, too... Generally I'm a very positive, hopeful, optimistic person (you know, that annoying kind) so it's hard for me to acknowledge that this is (statistically) more likely to be our 5th m/c than our first baby, but I can't go through the upheaval of getting all excited, daydreaming and telling people, only to lose it. It's easier this way...
I am so sorry for your losses. I hope that you will hold this baby in your arms. Are you taking any progesterone supplements?
post #17 of 369
Quote:
Originally Posted by BlissfullyLoving View Post
I am so sorry for your losses. I hope that you will hold this baby in your arms. Are you taking any progesterone supplements?
Oh yes, I'm on a progesterone supplement-- started it either 2 or 3 days after ovulation. (I'm 85% sure I o'd on Monday the 8th but technically it could have been Tuesday.) I was last time too, though, which is why I have less faith in the progesterone than before. The blood tests showed my progesterone to be at 34 and 31 whatevers at 14 and 16 DPO, which ought to be plenty. So if this pregnancy doesn't make it, then there's something else wrong besides the progesterone, really... which is terribly worrying as they can't find anything else wrong.
post #18 of 369
Quote:
Originally Posted by WeasleyMum View Post
Oh yes, I'm on a progesterone supplement-- started it either 2 or 3 days after ovulation. (I'm 85% sure I o'd on Monday the 8th but technically it could have been Tuesday.) I was last time too, though, which is why I have less faith in the progesterone than before. The blood tests showed my progesterone to be at 34 and 31 whatevers at 14 and 16 DPO, which ought to be plenty. So if this pregnancy doesn't make it, then there's something else wrong besides the progesterone, really... which is terribly worrying as they can't find anything else wrong.
Has you dh had a SA done?
post #19 of 369
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by WeasleyMum View Post
So if this pregnancy doesn't make it, then there's something else wrong besides the progesterone, really... which is terribly worrying as they can't find anything else wrong.
My RE (who I don't necessarily trust) told me that a short luteal phase is usually caused by problems with ovulation. He said that rather than just doing progesterone supplementation I should take fertility drugs and THEN progesterone. Despite the fact that I ovulate regularly and seemingly normally. Have you tried that? If you haven't, then there you go. If something goes wrong (and here's hoping it won't), there's something else you can try. I hope that helps.

Also, I assume you have had your TSH tested, but did your RE test your thyroid antibodies? I have become a bit of an advocate after my RE totally screwed up my thyroiditis diagnosis.
post #20 of 369
Quote:
Originally Posted by no5no5 View Post
My RE (who I don't necessarily trust) told me that a short luteal phase is usually caused by problems with ovulation. He said that rather than just doing progesterone supplementation I should take fertility drugs and THEN progesterone. Despite the fact that I ovulate regularly and seemingly normally. Have you tried that? If you haven't, then there you go. If something goes wrong (and here's hoping it won't), there's something else you can try. I hope that helps.

Also, I assume you have had your TSH tested, but did your RE test your thyroid antibodies? I have become a bit of an advocate after my RE totally screwed up my thyroiditis diagnosis.
I haven't done any kind of treatment except the progesterone (and aspirin and folic acid on the grounds that they can't hurt and could help, and put DH on a boatload of supplements). My REs seem to think my ovulation is ok-- I'm not sure what they're basing that on but I do ovulate regularly and get pregnant easily. They did an ultrasound where they looked at my ovaries, and an HSG to see the whole system, so to speak. That was neat. To be honest, I've had so many blood tests done that I'm not sure about all of them anymore-- I can't remember if they did TSH. I think they did. I know they did the thyroid one (twice actually), as I was very interested in that because my mom has hypothyroidism and it caused her at least one miscarriage. EVERY test they did on me except the prog. came up normal-normal-normal.
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