Pregnant after IF/loss - Page 5

[BlissfullyLoving]

Sorry alison. I misunderstood what you were asking. I had an early ultrasound with ds because I was having some light spotting. During that ultrasound they thought my cervix was measuring short. They had me come back repeatedly in case I had an incompetent cervix. I did not. It was my normal cervix length. Then during those other ultrasounds they kept finding potential problems with ds. Even when I would come with the research or deny further tests the office would use insane scare tactics to try to get me to comply. In the 18 weeks I spent with that office I left crying after almost every appointment. For me, routine ultrasounds seem to be a slippery slope to more aggresive pressure for medical intervention, and coupled with the potential risks it is not worth it to me. I understand and respect the need for medical intervention when necessary, but that is when the benefit outweighs the risk.

I am so happy that you were able to see that your placenta was over-mature with your dd. For the future, if you did not want to have numerous ultrasounds there are placental function tests that are not done through ultrasound.

[WeasleyMum]

Originally Posted by seafox

I was so expecting her to say that it was even negative, no HCG at all, that my pos preg test was just a fluke. Since I hadn't been able to temp since then or take other tests. My mind is definitely playing tricks on me! I wish I could be positive, but my symptoms are so sporadic (breast tenderness really comes and goes, and has never been as bad as the first few days) that I think its not going well, and then I think since I have that 'feeling' its not going well, that my intuition is to be trusted, since I was kind of right last time despite my body 'missing' it. But then I also realize my intuition is probably terribly clouded by this whole experience so who can tell what. I am so afraid of thinking positively I guess. I just keep thinking that there's an issue w/ me, that I can't carry children, which is just such an awful thought. But its hard when I've had no explanation for the first, that I need two just to get tests, etc. Its hard to think that its just a fluke, as they say, I guess. I guess the scientist in me is to blame!

You pretty much nailed how I feel, too. I'll be honest, I schedule 6-7wk scans as much for recording as for anything else. Out of my four m/cs, two showed a blighted ovum, one ended even before 6 weeks, one had a HB. If this is another anembryonic pregnancy, they can't possibly give me the "bad luck" theory I got last time. Even if we have a heartbeat, I know now not to get too excited about it, but it would still be better than the alternative.

[BlissfullyLoving]

Originally Posted by seafox

I saw my ob/gyn (who I like very much, she is about to go on a trek of the Himalayas to see women in need for two weeks, how cool is that!) on Thursday, and she tried to alleviate my fears of early u/s's also, and said one at 6wks is fine to do if I want to do it, but I'd have to check hcg until it was >2000 so there'd be something to see at all, etc. So I got blood drawn that day, and I was guessing I wouldn't be >2000 since I was only 4wks4days at that point - but I just got the results today and it was just over 2000, (at the very top of normal, it seems) so she asked me if I wanted to schedule a 5-6wk u/s.

But I actually do have a very tipped uterus, I figure it would make me nervous more than not, and they'd have trouble seeing anything, and I lost the last one at 7.5wks anyway so its not like it would tell me much. I let myself schedule one for 8.5weeks instead and hope that goes well. I may still cancel it depending on how I feel. Last time my nausea started at 6wks and stopped abruptly at 7.5wks, so if that happens again Ill def. keep the appt. I was thinking of waiting until 10wks, but I am going to get an NT scan at 11wks or 12 anyway, so that seems so close, why bother. I am afraid though that my retroverted uterus might make things difficult even at 8.5wks.

I was so expecting her to say that it was even negative, no HCG at all, that my pos preg test was just a fluke. Since I hadn't been able to temp since then or take other tests. My mind is definitely playing tricks on me! I wish I could be positive, but my symptoms are so sporadic (breast tenderness really comes and goes, and has never been as bad as the first few days) that I think its not going well, and then I think since I have that 'feeling' its not going well, that my intuition is to be trusted, since I was kind of right last time despite my body 'missing' it. But then I also realize my intuition is probably terribly clouded by this whole experience so who can tell what. I am so afraid of thinking positively I guess. I just keep thinking that there's an issue w/ me, that I can't carry children, which is just such an awful thought. But its hard when I've had no explanation for the first, that I need two just to get tests, etc. Its hard to think that its just a fluke, as they say, I guess. I guess the scientist in me is to blame!

Very cool about your gyn. Congrats on the numbers. :

I bet you will feel more confident as time goes by. As you know, your chances are very good to carry this baby to term.

Good luck with the scan. I agree with waiting because of your uterus. It might cause more stress then calm for no reason. Please let us know how everything goes. I am thinking of you!

Originally Posted by WeasleyMum

You pretty much nailed how I feel, too. I'll be honest, I schedule 6-7wk scans as much for recording as for anything else. Out of my four m/cs, two showed a blighted ovum, one ended even before 6 weeks, one had a HB. If this is another anembryonic pregnancy, they can't possibly give me the "bad luck" theory I got last time. Even if we have a heartbeat, I know now not to get too excited about it, but it would still be better than the alternative.

I definitely think that putting your mind and heart at ease makes an ultrasound worth it. I know if I start to freak out that I will do an ultrasound too.

[sonuptosondown]

Originally Posted by heatherh

Hey guys. Welcome new ladies! I'm feeling pretty confident, too. I don't know if it means anything but it makes the waiting easier.

For u/s there really isn't a point in doing them at 6 weeks. With a typical uterus (not tipped or anything) I would wait until 8 weeks at least because I believe that is as soon as you're pretty much guaranteed to see a HB if baby's OK. If you go in at 6 weeks, there is too much of a chance of "there is no HB yet, so let's check in another week" type of situation. Not cool. By then, you might just want to wait until 10 or 12 weeks when midwives might be able to get a HB w/ doppler (which is still u/s but it seems that the overall exposure is less). At this point, I plan to just wait to see our midwives at 10 - 12 weeks. Unless I'm really stressed out and worried before then, then I am willing to consider an u/s for HB check at 8 weeks or later.

Yeah, that all makes sense. We saw a hb before 6 weeks with our dd, but every pgcy is different so I am sure I would not want to be left in limbo if they saw nothing. I may ask to schedule one at 9 weeks--I'm going to think about it for a day or two before calling back. I noticed the article seemed to indicate that the earlier in the pgcy the u/s was, the higher the risk. So the 3rd trimester scans to monitor baby's development wouldn't have the same risks as weekly scans in the first trimester. As Blissful has said, it's a risk/benefit thing that everyone has to decide for themselves. Definitely lots of babies are subjected to early scans and are fine.

My missed m/c had a healthy hb at 8 weeks, and absolutely everything seemed fine, I had a lot of m/s, etc, until 12 weeks when it started to taper off--which of course is normal, so I thought everything was fine. Then went to my routine 12 week visit and no hb, baby died about 2 days after my first u/s. I just am not sure if I can handle not knowing for that long again, kwim?

Originally Posted by seafox

I wish I could feel as confident as you all! I am too much of a cynic I guess.

I was so expecting her to say that it was even negative, no HCG at all, that my pos preg test was just a fluke. Since I hadn't been able to temp since then or take other tests. My mind is definitely playing tricks on me! I wish I could be positive, but my symptoms are so sporadic (breast tenderness really comes and goes, and has never been as bad as the first few days) that I think its not going well, and then I think since I have that 'feeling' its not going well, that my intuition is to be trusted, since I was kind of right last time despite my body 'missing' it. But then I also realize my intuition is probably terribly clouded by this whole experience so who can tell what. I am so afraid of thinking positively I guess. I just keep thinking that there's an issue w/ me, that I can't carry children, which is just such an awful thought. But its hard when I've had no explanation for the first, that I need two just to get tests, etc. Its hard to think that its just a fluke, as they say, I guess. I guess the scientist in me is to blame!

Congratulations on your pregnancy! A loss can totally mess with your confidence Especially when you haven't had a living baby yet. Our first pgcy ended similar to yours (missed m/c, thought all was well) and I was terrified we would not be able to have a baby, especially because we suspect we also had a 5-6 week loss before we were married. But your chances of carrying this baby successfully are excellent--there's no reason to think your first loss was due to anything "wrong" with you--as I'm sure your dr. tells you, too. I'm so glad this thread is here. It's nice to be around people who can understand the worries of being pg after a loss.

[alisoninparis]

Thanks Blissfully, sorry about the horrors you went through. Here in France they are much more laid back about everything and would never use scare tactics.

Seafox, I too, have a tipped uterus (since giving birth to DD). I wasn't aware that this could have an effect on the u/s! I'm starting to wonder if I shouldn't delay the u/s a bit... last Thurs my gyn said to have a scan "in a week" (i.e. at 6 weeks). Should I wait a little longer than that?

[BlissfullyLoving]

Originally Posted by sonuptosondown

Yeah, that all makes sense. We saw a hb before 6 weeks with our dd, but every pgcy is different so I am sure I would not want to be left in limbo if they saw nothing. I may ask to schedule one at 9 weeks--I'm going to think about it for a day or two before calling back. I noticed the article seemed to indicate that the earlier in the pgcy the u/s was, the higher the risk. So the 3rd trimester scans to monitor baby's development wouldn't have the same risks as weekly scans in the first trimester. As Blissful has said, it's a risk/benefit thing that everyone has to decide for themselves. Definitely lots of babies are subjected to early scans and are fine.

My missed m/c had a healthy hb at 8 weeks, and absolutely everything seemed fine, I had a lot of m/s, etc, until 12 weeks when it started to taper off--which of course is normal, so I thought everything was fine. Then went to my routine 12 week visit and no hb, baby died about 2 days after my first u/s. I just am not sure if I can handle not knowing for that long again, kwim?

My understanding is that first trimester ultrasounds are the riskiest because that is when the brain is developing.

I am sorry for your loss.

Originally Posted by alisoninparis

Thanks Blissfully, sorry about the horrors you went through. Here in France they are much more laid back about everything and would never use scare tactics.

Seafox, I too, have a tipped uterus (since giving birth to DD). I wasn't aware that this could have an effect on the u/s! I'm starting to wonder if I shouldn't delay the u/s a bit... last Thurs my gyn said to have a scan "in a week" (i.e. at 6 weeks). Should I wait a little longer than that?

I was wondering were you from when I was originally writing before, and it did not even occur to me to separate your screenname out, ha ha. In general, Europe also uses a weaker ultra-sound then in the states (so I have read), so that is another good thing to keep in mind.

I have a tipped uterus too, and I was able to get a good read at my 8 week ultrasound with ds. Perhaps you should wait until at least then, if you feel comfortable doing that.

[heatherh]

seafox - Yeah for good #s!

I think BlissfullyLoving may be thinking along the same lines I am with the ultrasounds. I don't want to invite increased intervention. I can see HCPs offering a 6week ultrasound just to make me feel better, then if they can't see anything do another 7 or 8 week, then at the end of the 1st tri before we tell anyone... yeah, slippery slope. The thing is, no matter how many ultrasounds we might opt for, the HCPs can't help fix anything if it goes wrong. So unless the u/s might affect my care or I'd make decisions based on it, it seems better to just avoid them unless I need one for the sake of my sanity.

I can see Weaslymum's point about having documentation/better data for decisions, etc. Obviously every case is different. And it's up to each of us to figure out our cost/benefit analysis. I think BL already said that

[BlissfullyLoving]

Originally Posted by heatherh

I think BlissfullyLoving may be thinking along the same lines I am with the ultrasounds. I don't want to invite increased intervention. I can see HCPs offering a 6week ultrasound just to make me feel better, then if they can't see anything do another 7 or 8 week, then at the end of the 1st tri before we tell anyone... yeah, slippery slope. The thing is, no matter how many ultrasounds we might opt for, the HCPs can't help fix anything if it goes wrong. So unless the u/s might affect my care or I'd make decisions based on it, it seems better to just avoid them unless I need one for the sake of my sanity.

I can see Weaslymum's point about having documentation/better data for decisions, etc. Obviously every case is different. And it's up to each of us to figure out our cost/benefit analysis. I think BL already said that

Yeah, that is a good point. I did not articulate it the way I wanted, but that is what I was thinking. For me, if I have an ultrasound it really will be for my sanity.

[no5no5]

It just occurred to me that my OB mentioned the possibility of ectopic pregnancy as a reason she wanted me to do an early ultrasound. I guess it is more common in women who have had infertility?

I don't know. I am starting to question the benefits of an ultrasound. I WANT one, because I feel like it will make me more confident...but I am bound to worry even after the ultrasound. Sonup, a close friend of mine had exactly the same situation: she had the early ultrasound, everything was fine, and then a few weeks later it was discovered that the baby had died just a day or two after the first ultrasound. YUCK.

I am dwelling again. Maybe I should go back and actually read that article Bliss recommended. It would really be pretty dumb to have an ultrasound if there is risk but no benefit. :

I am also a bit upset because I talked to the nurse at my doctor's office about the FSH test they ran on me, and she said that it was "fine" because they found basically no FSH, which is to be expected unless I am menopausal. WTF??? First of all, I thought HCG would show up in a FSH test, so I am now worried that there's no HCG in my system. Second of all, I am PREGNANT, so I am clearly NOT menopausal. Third of all, why the h*ll didn't my OB just admit she ran the test in error instead of telling me that she wanted to make sure that I'm not menopausal? If there is one thing I cannot stand in doctors, it is a lack of candor. Ugh.

Well, maybe I will end up seeing a midwife instead of an OB. It will be a lot more complicated, because I will have to see my family practice doc a bunch for my medical issue(s), and I am not quite sure that my insurance will pay for it unless I twist their arm, but I am starting to think it will be worth it.

Plus, DD has been napping for the last 3 hours. She _never_ naps anymore. She is _so_ not going to sleep tonight. Lame-o. :

[BlissfullyLoving]

nono. I do not think your chance of an ectopic is increased because of infertility unless your infertility was caused by scar tissue on your fallopian tubes. They can also somewhat rule it out based on your hcg and progesterone. Both would be lower then expected in an ectopic. I have been doing a bit of research on this topic because I just got irrationally paranoid about it, and from what I read they may not be able to confirm placental placement this early in pregnancy. You would have to keep going in for repeat ultrasounds until they can see it.

[no5no5]

Originally Posted by BlissfullyLoving

nono. I do not think your chance of an ectopic is increased because of infertility unless your infertility was caused by scar tissue on your fallopian tubes. They can also somewhat rule it out based on your hcg and progesterone. Both would be lower then expected in an ectopic. I have been doing a bit of research on this topic because I just got irrationally paranoid about it, and from what I read they may not be able to confirm placental placement this early in pregnancy. You would have to keep going in for repeat ultrasounds until they can see it.

Hmmm. I have no reason to think that I have scar tissue, and I did have a lovely HSG. They have not tested my HCG. Maybe I should call & see if they will do that instead. I don't know. I guess I will wait & see what DH says about it. He is so great about these things. Anyway, thanks for the hug.

[seafox]

Originally Posted by alisoninparis

Thanks Blissfully, sorry about the horrors you went through. Here in France they are much more laid back about everything and would never use scare tactics.

Seafox, I too, have a tipped uterus (since giving birth to DD). I wasn't aware that this could have an effect on the u/s! I'm starting to wonder if I shouldn't delay the u/s a bit... last Thurs my gyn said to have a scan "in a week" (i.e. at 6 weeks). Should I wait a little longer than that?

from what I've read on misdiagnosedmiscarriage.com (which is probably more than I need to read) it does make some of a difference. I am really severely tipped, such that I don't even need to use pads/tampons during a period - since its tipped back AND bent over. So it all pools for a few hours and I can 'let' it out when I pee if I push a bit. Weird, I know! It make things pretty easy though during a period

I figured being tipped AND bent, I've read w/ uterus's like that you really want (and I wouldn't want this actually) a transrectal ultrasound rather than transvaginal - since your uterus is really next to the colon. if the babe implants in the top part of the uterus, which is all bent over, I'd think you might have trouble seeing it.

I figured better be safe than sorry and two weeks won't kill me, so I was going to wait until 8 weeks, since my last preg. lasted until 7.5 also, I figure it will at least undo the upsetness I felt at 12wks thinking I should have had something checked at 8wks rather than waste a month carrying around a nonviable pregnancy. But I think that upsetness would pale in comparison to finding out I lost a babe right after the ultrasound, I guess.

so I may change my mind, depending on how my symptoms come along as well I think, since I am still worried about this. I do know so many folks who got an 8-9wk scan for dating (not for previous m/c) and were all fine so I am figuring waiting until 8-9 is better for no really good scientific reason. I think a lot more women get them done at that time since they are unsure of ovulation/dates in general.

thanks for all the support! its hard to fight the negative thoughts on my own

[sunflwrmoonbeam]

Hi, I'm Ashley, and I'm now working on my 4th pregnancy, first kid. I've had 2 chemicals and a miscarriage at 7 weeks in May of 07.

I'm actually feeling confident about this one, as my BFP today was ridiculously dark.

[BlissfullyLoving]

Originally Posted by sunflwrmoonbeam

Hi, I'm Ashley, and I'm now working on my 4th pregnancy, first kid. I've had 2 chemicals and a miscarriage at 7 weeks in May of 07.

I'm actually feeling confident about this one, as my BFP today was ridiculously dark.

I love ridiculously dark bfps! Welcome again!

[La Marmotte]

Add me to the list as well--I m/c at 9 weeks in July (my second m/c). It's no fun to be in the 10% club (if 90% of pregnancies with a heartbeat seen on ultrasound continue, well, I guess I got "lucky").

So, it's early days yet--I got my positive at 9 DPO (which makes me 4+4 today)--and I know I'll be holding my breath for a while.

Here's wishing everyone good news!

[WeasleyMum]

Originally Posted by sunflwrmoonbeam

Hi, I'm Ashley, and I'm now working on my 4th pregnancy, first kid. I've had 2 chemicals and a miscarriage at 7 weeks in May of 07.

I'm actually feeling confident about this one, as my BFP today was ridiculously dark.

Originally Posted by La Marmotte

Add me to the list as well--I m/c at 9 weeks in July (my second m/c). It's no fun to be in the 10% club (if 90% of pregnancies with a heartbeat seen on ultrasound continue, well, I guess I got "lucky").

So, it's early days yet--I got my positive at 9 DPO (which makes me 4+4 today)--and I know I'll be holding my breath for a while.

Here's wishing everyone good news!

Welcome, sunflwrmoonbeam and La Marmotte! LM, I know what you mean as I've also lost a pregnancy after seeing the HB.

[BlissfullyLoving]

Welcome sunflwr and marmotte!

[sunflwrmoonbeam]

Woo hoo! I seem to be getting the star treatment from my OB (I'm going ot have a homebirth with a midwife, but I'm keeping up with my OB just in case, and because I want ultrasounds). Usually she doesn't do betas, but because of my history I get them, and once the levels are high enough, an early ultrasound!

I know a lot of people here prefer a more hands off approach, but after 3+ miscarriages I need that reassurance.

At least today the BFP came up before the control line

[BlissfullyLoving]

Originally Posted by sunflwrmoonbeam

Woo hoo! I seem to be getting the star treatment from my OB (I'm going ot have a homebirth with a midwife, but I'm keeping up with my OB just in case, and because I want ultrasounds). Usually she doesn't do betas, but because of my history I get them, and once the levels are high enough, an early ultrasound!

I know a lot of people here prefer a more hands off approach, but after 3+ miscarriages I need that reassurance.

At least today the BFP came up before the control line

I am happy that you are getting the care that you want. Yay!

[heatherh]

Welcome sunflwrmoonbeam and La Marmotte! It's good to have you here.

I like crazy dark HPTs, too.

So how's everybody hanging in there? I've been surprisingly positive/confident so far but every once in awhile I just lose it for a few minutes then I'm totally fine again. As always, this trying to make a baby thing is an adventure.

I'm 5w3d today. I got my first slight waves of nausea last night, I've been increasingly hungry, and it will be time for a bigger bra in another week or so. I figure escalating symptoms is good at this point.