Does it Get Easier

[ChetMC]

I've noticed on MDC, and on other boards as well, the baby and toddler forums are really busy. The preschooler forums move quickly, but they don't seem to see as much traffic as babies and toddlers. The school age forums seem to have a lot more posts about 5 and 6 year olds than about 7 to 10 year olds.

Is this because things get easier and parents need less support, or is it because things get harder and parents don't have time to spend on the internet?

[ErikaG]

My guess-and it really is a guess; I only have one and she's five months old, is that what actually happens is that the rate of "big worrisome thing" slows down when the milestones are a little further apart, and that you get more confident as a parent in assessing what's really serious and what's not worth worrying about.

Just a guess.

[mamajody]

I think for most people the hard things change and become less worrisome than when you have a tiny infant or toddler that is totally dependent on you for everything. Myself, I have a SN 5 year old, and I have been posting about her A LOT. Her diagnosis is so new I have been reading and learning from posts by other more experiences SN mamas. Then I have 2 year old twins, and they hardly get any attention on here from me. Mostly that is is because they are happy, healthy, typical 2 year olds, and I have already passed through that sage of child development once before. Sometimes the twinsanity gets to me and I head over to the multiples forum to let off a little steam and read the btdt stories. I probably won't post about my new one at all, beyond her birth story.

[Jannah6]

I think when you have a newborn/toddler I think you worry more and have more questions. I don't think things get easier or harder, just different.

[Collinsky]

I assume it's because things get easier. Not that parenting ever is necessarily a piece of cake or a walk in the park, but for me at least as they get older it does seem to get... easier somehow.

It also could be that many parents start posting more in the School/Homeschool forums once their kids hit "school-age." And if a baby gets a rash, that's more likely to be posted in the baby forum. If a 7 yo gets one, that post probably goes to H&H.

[mamakay]

It (usually) gets easier. Plus, you become more secure in yourself as a parent and don't need as much advice.

[Lisa85]

I don't know that'd I'd say easier, but you do adjust better and like a pp said, get better at learning to assess which things really are something to worry about and which things aren't.

[foxtrot]

It doesn't just get easier, it gets MUCH, MUCH easier. I'm always confused when people say it doesn't get easier because in my experience having a 5 year old is a walk in the park compared to the infant/toddler years. I also have an 11 month old and it's been so hard going back and revisiting all the things that I was done with. It is SO hard with her. Things are SO easy with my 5 year old.

[queenjane]

I have a son almost 12 and a new baby who is 8 months. It is SO MUCH easier with the 12 yr old, he is independant, doesnt need to be watched all the time, can basically take care of himself. We're more friends than anything. The baby is now in that crawling and getting into stuff and needing to be watched every second stage and i'm finding it very frustrating, now i'm having flashbacks to what it was like for years with my older son, and i'm kind of like "oh crap what have i gotten into!"

That being said, in some ways i agree with the "its not easier just different", in an older child there is a different clash of wills, the toddler might insist on climbing on top of the tv or running into a parking lot...but a teen's insistence on their independance manifests itself differently. Some people also just have certain ages they are "better" with.

But i think mostly it has to do with experience, as someone else mentioned. i kind of laugh to myself (sorry!) when i read posts about people freaking out because someone gave their kid a lick of ice cream or bought them a certain toy, i think once you've been parenting for a number of years you know in the grand scheme of things that stuff isnt *that* critical.

I think the biggest difference for me, in my parenting over the years, is that when my son was a baby i was so sure that my way was the right way and pretty critical of other choices, and now i'm a little more open to people doing things differently from me.

It might also be a case, too, of parents---when their kids are older--not hanging on parenting forums so much, but spending their online time on other areas of interest. I know for me, i spend alot of time in adoption forums (youngest babe is in process of being adopted) but once i've adopted and a few years have past, i may not spend so much time discussing adoption issues.


Katherine

[hsofia]

Part of it might be that by the time your child is five or six or ten years old, you have more resources in real life - you know more people with children your child's age, and so on.

[mamakay]

Originally Posted by foxtrot

It doesn't just get easier, it gets MUCH, MUCH easier. I'm always confused when people say it doesn't get easier because in my experience having a 5 year old is a walk in the park compared to the infant/toddler years. I also have an 11 month old and it's been so hard going back and revisiting all the things that I was done with. It is SO hard with her. Things are SO easy with my 5 year old.

Yeah, I've got a 9 month old and an almost 5 year old. I'm bracing myself for the toddler years. Infants are tough...but hoo boy...at least you can usually take them to the grocery store.
Maybe I'll get lucky with this one and she won't be quite the short-fused basketcase the older kid was from 12 months to 3 years.

Maybe.
I guess I'll survive either way.
Maybe.

[onlyzombiecat]

My dd is 8.
There are still issues but I guess I don't ask other people for advice or reassurance so much.

[emcare]

In my experience (8, 3 and 5 mo) it gets easier.

[EviesMom]

I think that as kids get older, you're also more likely to be posting in other forums like learning at school or learning at home, etc.

[Kiddoson]

I have a DD who is 8 and a DS who is 14 months. DS is easier right now cause I have been there already. DD is more self sufficient but it's new territory with different probs. 4-6 was harder than now. the problems change but as they get older some worries are not there, others are. not sure if that helps!

[becoming]

A resounding "YES" to that question! In my experience, it does get so, so, so much easier as they get older. (Mine are 7, 3, and 14 months.)