How to feel more secure with your body image?

[goodygumdrops]

I'm having problems with my body image. I know that I have issues with self-esteem and insecurity, etc... actually a whole slew of issues that I'm working through in therapy right now.

Anywhoo, I started exercising again about 2 months or so ago and I've lost some weight. I decided that I wasn't going to weigh myself but just go on how I look and feel. I'm pretty certain that I'm down to pre pregnancy weight...and maybe slightly thinner. I'm 5'4" and I estimate 128 -130 pounds.

Well, here's where the problem is...I always feel like I don't have an objective perspective on how my body looks. I have always been insecure about my stomach and midsection. I know that this is the last place I loose weight...so the only way to have a flat stomach is to be SUPER skinny...like 110pds. I don't ever want or think I look good at that weight but I always feel self conscious about my pot-belly. I actually think I need to work on my core more because I think my belly sticks out from bad core strength...I have pretty crappy posture too.

BUT, I want to look in the mirror and feel happy with myself. I want to be able to walk around naked and not feel self conscious, ykwim? I just want to exercise for health, not so much for body image...

[lifeguard]

I have similar issues with my belly. I am very self-conscious about it.

I found for myself that after a few months of working out my body image really started to improve. It was not perfect but much better. I think as you workout & gain more confidence in what your body is capable of you'll find your body image improves as a bonus.

[wendyland]

I feel like a broken record. I keep telling people about a podcast called insideoutweightloss by renee stephens. It's free, but priceless. It's changed my feelings about my body completely. You can find it through itunes or personallifemedia.com. you don't have to have an ipod to listen, either. You can play it through your computer.

[goodygumdrops]

You know I think what bothers me is that I feel unsatisfied with my body and I am pretty slim and healthy. I mean I don't want to go through life thinking everything is black or white....like I'm either skinny or fat because I'm not. Ykwim? I want to feel proud of my body and that I'm healthy. I don't want to look in the mirror and say "oh, well your stomach needs more work and maybe you could loose 5 more?"

I'll check out the website wendyland, thanks

[CariS]

Originally Posted by wendyland

I feel like a broken record. I keep telling people about a podcast called insideoutweightloss by renee stephens. It's free, but priceless. It's changed my feelings about my body completely. You can find it through itunes or personallifemedia.com. you don't have to have an ipod to listen, either. You can play it through your computer.

I deal with this issue too. I have lots to be thankful for, health, youth (kinda - you're always younger than someone, right). But I walk around thinking about the 20 lbs I want to loose, how I want to be more tone, how I need a hair cut, on and on and on.

I think though I'm realizing I do this with a lot of things - think about negative conversations and how I wish I had said something else.... I want to flip it over - all of it and only let positive thoughts swim around in there. Now - just have to figure out HOW to do that.

Maybe tomorrow I'll find something I LIKE about my body and think about that all day. I also have been trying to tell myself how proud I am of myself when I go for that bike ride or walk or whatever (rather than I shoulda gone longer or something).

Good luck! Will watch for more great ideas!

[Surfacing]

Yeah I feel insecure about my body image too. Sometimes I feel happy and comfortable with the fact that I am a busy mommy taking care of my children, I am not the type who loses weight while breastfeeding. This is only temporary, I have lots of time to lose the weight, I am not 17 yrs old anymore, yadda yadda yadda.

But I catch sight of myself in the mirror and it's GAH!!!! I want to lose weight. I think of a coworker of mine who always made fun of overweight coworkers. The voice is internalized. I am worried about what people will say when I go back to work. Ridiculous.

I do need to lose weight to be more healthy. That's plain and simple. But I always want to feel like I love myself, no matter what. Yk?

So how to feel more secure? Feed yourself positive messages and surround yourself with positive voices.

[akmeg]

I don't have any great advice or anything, I know it's something a lot of us struggle with. I'm 5'6" and 140 lbs, but I feel like I'm still really out of shape. (Even though I'm in better shape than I've been in a long time.) It's so hard to get an honest image in my mind of what my body looks like, because I'm so used to the way I judge myself, which is quite often negatively.

I do feel better about myself after I do a yoga or pilates class, or something that helps me work on my posture. I think posture has a lot to do with body image. The way I view my belly changes dramatically when I'm standing properly.

Also, when I eat better (I'm gluten intolerant), my belly doesn't get bloated. Sometimes I don't realize that the extra roll on my gut is bloating, until I spend a day or two eating more simply, no sugar or gf flour products, and magically my belly is flatter. I know this is a problem for people with gluten intolerance, but I think sugar and flour affects a lot of people with mild bloating. A nutritional "cleanse" helps me with my body image, not only because it actually makes my belly flatter, but I also feel postively about myself because of the choices I'm making for myself.

Hope some of that helps! Actually, these are things I need to remind myself when I'm feeling that way too.

[goodygumdrops]

Thanks everyone for your input. I was thinking about this thread a lot over the last couple of days. I went to the dr yesterday and I was weighed for the first time since I started exercising about 2 months ago and I've lost 10 pounds.

It's funny because I am happy to loose the weight but I still just feel like I don't want my positive body ideals to be around being thin or heavy, ykwim?

For example, when I'm at the gym and I see myself in the mirror, I really feel healthy, strong, slim,etc. but when I get home and I see myself in the mirror, I feel so heavy and out of shape. So, either the mirrors are warped or my head is I know it seems silly to compare two mirrors but I guess it's just an example of how I have always either been thin or heavy. I just want to comfortable with the fluctuations of my body and be forgiving of it's change. Maybe that's the answer... acceptance and forgiveness...

[delicious]

a good idea might be to look at yourself in the mirror more so you can get used to how beautiful you are, right now, exactly as you are.

i love how good & strong i feel right after i exercise, so i can relate to that.

something else i remember is that no matter what i think, my kids pretty much think i'm the most beautiful woman in the world. i am pretty sure your son feels that way about you...

[justthinkn]

A great mental exercise I picked up somewhere and use sometimes is to imagine yourself really skinny, like Hollywood's most skinny, and ask yourself how that feels, how you would feel about yourself and being in the world, on a normal day for you. Then take it the opposite direction - imagine yourself much larger than you now are, and ask the same questions. Now think about you as you actually are... See if you feel more centered, content, appreciative.