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Maybe this is a silly question...

post #1 of 11
Thread Starter 
but does anyone else's mom push you to speak your native language to your LO? My mom has been on my case about it forever, then she stopped for a while, and now it started again. It's more comfortable for me to speak English to DD. My parents are the opposite, they try not to speak English to DD and that's fine with me, I just feel so pressured sometimes.
Anyway, I was just wondering if any of you other Mamas have to deal with this.
Thanks!!
post #2 of 11
We have this issue in my house, my husband speaks Spanish and English and I speak English and am trying to learn Spanish. I think it would be hugely beneficial to our son to be bilingual, yet dh rarely will speak wiht him in Spanish.
I am the one doing the pressuring....they can learn so much at this age and it is a critical time for language development.

It is your choice, but can't you see the benefit of teaching your child your native language? But ultimately it is your decision and your parents should respect that. Good luck.
post #3 of 11
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by joanq View Post
We have this issue in my house, my husband speaks Spanish and English and I speak English and am trying to learn Spanish. I think it would be hugely beneficial to our son to be bilingual, yet dh rarely will speak wiht him in Spanish.
I am the one doing the pressuring....they can learn so much at this age and it is a critical time for language development.

It is your choice, but can't you see the benefit of teaching your child your native language? But ultimately it is your decision and your parents should respect that. Good luck.
Oh no, you must have misunderstood me, I am teaching DD to be bilingual, there is no question about the benefits of that, you're right. I just want English to be her first language and my problem is that my mom wants me to speak to her more than I already do, as if ALL the time. Perhaps I have not been clear on that, sorry.
Thank you for your response!!
post #4 of 11
gosh, i only wish my parents spoke my native language to me growing up so i could teach my children...

when i was a teenager i was the one pushing them to teach me. but they still wouldn't just cuz they were so used to speaking english and i think they were worried i wouldnt learn english...but i mean i went to american schools that only spoke english grew up around english speaking kids, of course im gonna learn it.

i think your mom has great intentions.
post #5 of 11
Sorry to tell you this, but I think your parents are right.

You DD will speak english well no matter what you do simply from living in the US and being around english speakers at school or in other social groups (incase you will be HSing.) However, your native language is much much harder for her to find opportunities to practice (I'm not sure how much less since you haven't specified what language.)

My DH's parents spoke to him almost exclusively in Cantonese growing up in Canada. His English is much much more fluent than his Cantonese (though his French is pretty bad.) He has a hard time speaking Cantonese with people outside his immediate family, but his English is great.
post #6 of 11
mandala126....sorry to say i am with your parents on this one. I have only ever spoken to my kids in Spanish (the oldest is now 5) and yet despite this English is their dominant language. I would say from everyone I know in this situation, learning English isn't a worry, keeping the minority language is. If you want them to be bilingual, I would suggest you really concentrate on supporting the minority language, and it sounds like your parents are a great resource. Maybe try to shift from seeing them as opposing you, and see them as an asset. What a great incentive for your kids to speak the other language, to talk to gram and grandpa....

good luck
post #7 of 11
No. My Mom encourages me to speak Hebrew to DD....but doesn't push it.
post #8 of 11
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mandala126 View Post
but does anyone else's mom push you to speak your native language to your LO? My mom has been on my case about it forever, then she stopped for a while, and now it started again. It's more comfortable for me to speak English to DD. My parents are the opposite, they try not to speak English to DD and that's fine with me, I just feel so pressured sometimes.
Anyway, I was just wondering if any of you other Mamas have to deal with this.
Thanks!!
Ay ay ay. I know what you mean. I actually speak to my DD in both and there's enormous pressure to speak to her only in Spanish. The thing is, DH speaks English and although he is learning Spanish, we've gotten used to speaking to eachother in English. My sis and I also speak to eachother in English so it's almost a generational thing with me. English just naturally flows out of me when speaking to people my age or younger, but not with people of my parent's generation.

I make a point of identifying things in both English and Spanish, but I admit that the normal conversational part of my communication is mostly English and I get a lot of grief for it. Bad mami.

I do agree though that if DD is in an English community - having that as her first language won't ever be a concern...it's pretty much a guarantee.
post #9 of 11
I just posted something about this on the other thread... but it is about how they learn.
When they are young it is on a parallel so they learn there are two ways to speak and not like we do, with translations... so they see a color and that color is both amarillo and yellow but yellow does not = amarillo, iykwim.

When we mix the languages by one person speaking both directly to your LO they learn them as one language and it can cause them to mix things up and speak Spanglish is the future, as they are learning. I am sure ultimately they will figure it out, but in the meantime it can confuse the language.

Also, If you speak spanish directly to your LO and english to your DH, your little one will learn that it is inappropriate to speak to an english speaker in spanish, just be indirectly seeing what you are doing...


I would speak only your native language and let english come later... that will be so much easier and, IMO, a second language is soooo important.
post #10 of 11
Interesting way to look at it. This would involve some huge changes on my part as it feels completely natural to speak English a LOT! The one thing I can say is that she has no problems understanding my mother & aunt who only speak to her in Spanish....

We'll see how things go. The other plan is to have her in bilingual pre-school and regular school.
post #11 of 11
We're going the bi-lingual preschool route.
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