I took my son to a dentist when he was 12 months to get his teeth checked, and because I have some unfilled cavities, they wanted to see him back in 6 months due to his increased risk. I am assuming it was because of the bacteria transfer that can happen between mama and child.
Anyway, I went to a new dentist with him today for his 18 month check. The new dentist was very close to my home, and a pediatric dentist, so I was hoping they would be gentle with us. Ummm yeah. Not.At.All....
As soon as we got into the room with the chair and the hygenist, DS asked to nurse. I tried to tell him that we could nurse in a bit, but he was tugging my shirt down, and starting to cry, so we nursed. The hygenist started to tell my that he really should have been weaned by 12 months, and that I was hurting his teeth by continuing to nurse. She also was horrified that I was still nursing him at night. I didn't say much at that point, but did keep right on nursing. He was obviously stressed out already, and I wasn't about to make it worse.
When she if I had any concerns about his teeth, I said that I really wanted help with figuring out how to brush them. She got very condescending at that point and said that I just had to do it. I tried to explain to her that I really didn't know how to pin him down to actually get in there, and she just kept repeating that I am the mama and I am much bigger and stronger than he is and I just need to do it. Yeah, thanks for that....Not helpful.
So then the dentist comes in. He had DS sit facing me straddling my lap and had him lay back onto my legs so he could look in his mouth. DS had yellow plaque and white spots on his teeth and his gums bled when they brushed his teeth. The dentist repeated that he needed to wean completely and should have at 12 months and that my continuing to harm my child by nursing would lead to his teeth rotting out of his head, needing to be put under anesthesia and all of his teeth being pulled.
I again tried to ask how to hold him down to brush his teeth and the dentist gave me the same condescending, "You just need to do it" line. He then said if I could get another person morning and night to help hold him like we just had that I could do that. Yeah thanks. I am a single mama...
After brushing his teeth, he said, "We need to apply some topical flouride to harden his teeth back up so they won't rot out" and proceeded to paint it on to them. I didn't want them to put it on, but I felt so overwhelmed at that point, that I let them. He then said after the fact "You have to make him wait 30 minutes before eating or drinking to let the flouride take effect." Um right. I am not going to nurse my screaming toddler....Thanks for that.
I finally said, "I need the actual physical mechanics of how to hold him to brush his teeth. I am sorry that I am an idiot, but I can't envision how to pin him down and still have a hand free to brush." He then did help me to get him pinned down on the floor and his mouth open in my lap, which was a huge help, but left me feeling like the absolute most idiotic person on the planet.
He then tried to talk to me about how my pediatrician should have talked to me at 12 months about weaning and how it was so damaging for him to be still nursing. I said, "I am not going to discuss weaning my son. He is way too young to wean and if he wants to nurse until he is 6, he is going to do so. I am not having this conversation."
The dentist then went and found some pictures of kids teeth that were getting the white spots and cavities to show me the damage that I was doing by not listening to them about weaning. At that point I just wanted to get out of there. I was in tears, DS was screaming and thrashing trying to nurse, and I was feeling about as big as a speck of dirt. They really, truly thought I was abusing my child by not weaning and that I was an absolute idiot for not knowing how to brush my child's teeth.
Needless to say, we are definitely not going back there ever again.
Does anyone have any ideas on how I can help my son's teeth? We are obviously going to be brushing twice a day with pinning him down from here on out (not that I am looking forward to that twice a day....), but any other ideas would be welcome. I don't want him to have cavities, but I am not willing to wean either. I am just in shock at what happened today. I wanted to kick their teeth in!
Anyway, I went to a new dentist with him today for his 18 month check. The new dentist was very close to my home, and a pediatric dentist, so I was hoping they would be gentle with us. Ummm yeah. Not.At.All....
As soon as we got into the room with the chair and the hygenist, DS asked to nurse. I tried to tell him that we could nurse in a bit, but he was tugging my shirt down, and starting to cry, so we nursed. The hygenist started to tell my that he really should have been weaned by 12 months, and that I was hurting his teeth by continuing to nurse. She also was horrified that I was still nursing him at night. I didn't say much at that point, but did keep right on nursing. He was obviously stressed out already, and I wasn't about to make it worse.
When she if I had any concerns about his teeth, I said that I really wanted help with figuring out how to brush them. She got very condescending at that point and said that I just had to do it. I tried to explain to her that I really didn't know how to pin him down to actually get in there, and she just kept repeating that I am the mama and I am much bigger and stronger than he is and I just need to do it. Yeah, thanks for that....Not helpful.
So then the dentist comes in. He had DS sit facing me straddling my lap and had him lay back onto my legs so he could look in his mouth. DS had yellow plaque and white spots on his teeth and his gums bled when they brushed his teeth. The dentist repeated that he needed to wean completely and should have at 12 months and that my continuing to harm my child by nursing would lead to his teeth rotting out of his head, needing to be put under anesthesia and all of his teeth being pulled.
I again tried to ask how to hold him down to brush his teeth and the dentist gave me the same condescending, "You just need to do it" line. He then said if I could get another person morning and night to help hold him like we just had that I could do that. Yeah thanks. I am a single mama...
After brushing his teeth, he said, "We need to apply some topical flouride to harden his teeth back up so they won't rot out" and proceeded to paint it on to them. I didn't want them to put it on, but I felt so overwhelmed at that point, that I let them. He then said after the fact "You have to make him wait 30 minutes before eating or drinking to let the flouride take effect." Um right. I am not going to nurse my screaming toddler....Thanks for that.
I finally said, "I need the actual physical mechanics of how to hold him to brush his teeth. I am sorry that I am an idiot, but I can't envision how to pin him down and still have a hand free to brush." He then did help me to get him pinned down on the floor and his mouth open in my lap, which was a huge help, but left me feeling like the absolute most idiotic person on the planet.
He then tried to talk to me about how my pediatrician should have talked to me at 12 months about weaning and how it was so damaging for him to be still nursing. I said, "I am not going to discuss weaning my son. He is way too young to wean and if he wants to nurse until he is 6, he is going to do so. I am not having this conversation."
The dentist then went and found some pictures of kids teeth that were getting the white spots and cavities to show me the damage that I was doing by not listening to them about weaning. At that point I just wanted to get out of there. I was in tears, DS was screaming and thrashing trying to nurse, and I was feeling about as big as a speck of dirt. They really, truly thought I was abusing my child by not weaning and that I was an absolute idiot for not knowing how to brush my child's teeth.
Needless to say, we are definitely not going back there ever again.
Does anyone have any ideas on how I can help my son's teeth? We are obviously going to be brushing twice a day with pinning him down from here on out (not that I am looking forward to that twice a day....), but any other ideas would be welcome. I don't want him to have cavities, but I am not willing to wean either. I am just in shock at what happened today. I wanted to kick their teeth in!
after that visit! No advice on the dental stuff, though there are lots of great threads around. And wow--what, exactly, is your child supposed to be consuming, fluid-wise, if not human milk? Water's great, but do they really advocate only water after 12 months??? Guess they're not real big on evidence-based healthcare at that place.
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