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Is this normal? - Pediatric dentist office (New question #35)  

post #1 of 41
10/1/08 at 1:22pm
Thread Starter 
I took my kids (3 and 5) to the dentist for the first time today. It's a pediatric dental office, pretty popular around here.

First, they wanted me to sign a form saying that they could restrain the kids and/or use nitrous oxide if/when they needed to. I refused to sign, and said that we'd decide what to use when the need arose.

Then, they refused to let me go back into the closed-door exam rooms with my kids. I asked if they could make an exception, and they said no. No parents are allowed back with the kids.

So we left.

Is that normal??? I was horrified, but perhaps I'm just overprotective....
post #2 of 41
10/1/08 at 1:28pm
I am so glad you left....alarm bells would be going off with me too. I got a note from the 1st ped. dentist dd1 had an appointment with and they detailed how they didnt want parents in the room while they are treating the child... hell no!! I got on the phone first thing and cancelled and found another ped. dentist who:

1. Makes sure parents are in the room with the child so they are calm (but stresses parent HAS to be calm in there)
2. Tries his best to treat child with as little intervention as possible but if child will panic and move does suggest general an.

DD1 had 3 cavities and because she was sooo good letting the dentist examine her he just advised nitrous oxide but if she had not been would have suggested general ant. He doesnt discuss anything until the time comes.
He absolutely does not use restraints......their philosophy is to make the childhood experience as positive as possible so they dont fear going to the dentist in the future....

Find another ped. dentist asap......child friendly ones are out there! I dont think you are overprotective at all
post #3 of 41
10/1/08 at 1:44pm
That was definitely not our experience and if I was in your position I would have walked out too! I have a completely irrational fear of dentists because of a horrible ped dentist I encountered as a child and I vowed that my children would never experience the same!

Our ped dentist is awesome! A parent always accompanies the child back and can sit in the chair holding the child while the dentist examines his/her teeth. We had to have cavities filled and the dentist suggested that we first try nitrous oxide and when it was obvious that she was still upset we then went with oral sedation which definitely did the trick! My DH remained with my daughter the entire time and she has no fear of the dentist today even after having cavities filled!
post #4 of 41
10/1/08 at 1:45pm
ours ped dentist is nothing like that! they expect us to come back there, and they wanted us to be there while they were working on ds's tooth (he had a chip that started to decay around the edge of the chip). They don't even blink when i bring my DD back there too during DS's appointments. I would NEVER go to an office that had the policies you're describing, espy for young kids. Maybe for older kids i would let them go back alone, but I wouldn't let the office make that decision!
post #5 of 41
10/1/08 at 1:48pm
Our ped. dentist lets parents back and in fact encourages it. But he was the only one I found. It seems most did have a no parent policy. We are traveling 1.5 hours each way to see the one who lets parents go back.

So I don't think what you found is particularly unusual but it wasn't ok with me either.
post #6 of 41
10/1/08 at 1:53pm
Wow, that was certainly not even mentioned at our dentist and I would have walked out too.
post #7 of 41
10/1/08 at 1:57pm
It is normal for a few of the dentists around here. I asked around till I found one that was happy to have parents with the kids for everything.

I had a 3yo who needed 3 fillings. Believe me, nitrous oxide is your friend!
post #8 of 41
10/1/08 at 2:02pm
Not normal for our dentist! I always go in with my son. He wants parents in there.
post #9 of 41
10/1/08 at 2:25pm
That doesn't sound normal at all to me. Our pediatric dentist encourages parents to join the children, uses the least invasive means possible and restraints...yeow. Can't imagine. Now, that being said, if a child had to have extensive work or was developmentally disabled and wouldn't understand, then sedation in the arms of mom and dad is what our dentists does. You might want to find another dentist! Good luck.
post #10 of 41
10/1/08 at 2:28pm
I don't know what's "normal", but dd's dentist has chairs for parents in each of the exam rooms, and they've been awesome about letting me know all of what they need to do - or might do - for her teeth.

I'm glad you left. Start looking for another dentist!
post #11 of 41
10/1/08 at 2:42pm
It's normal for dentists 40 years ago. I wouldn't agree to those terms either. Find someone else.
post #12 of 41
10/1/08 at 2:49pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
I had a 3yo who needed 3 fillings. Believe me, nitrous oxide is your friend!
Oh, I'm not against nitrous oxide at all! I just don't want to give someone permission to use it when he/she deems it necessary without asking me first. And without me being present. Ugh. I'm glad I left.
post #13 of 41
10/1/08 at 2:52pm
We just went to a ped. dentist and I made sure before our visit that I would be able to be in the room with the kids. They encouraged me to have my almost 3 year old on my lap for her exam but she climbed up in the chair by herself before I had a chance to sit down and she was fine the whole time anyway.

I still didn't really like the dentist though so I think we will be looking around for a different one but I will NEVER go to one that does not allow a parent in the room. If we have to stick with this one I will even though I didn't like him (the kids didn't seem to mind him and the hygienist was awesome).

I think you were right to leave and I would have done the same thing!
post #14 of 41
10/1/08 at 3:50pm
We love our pediatric dentist. He is completely welcoming of parents and I think he would actually insist that a parent come back with the child, even if it was the parent's inclination to stay in the waiting room. DS1 had his first checkup recently and was a bit scared going into the office, even though we had prepared him for what to expect. The dentist was kind, efficient and warm. I asked him about potential issues with DS still using a paci at naps and bedtime and he said, "The effects on his teeth should be minimal, if any, and at this age, I would worry more about the emotional damage it would do to take such a source of comfort away before he is ready." : I mean, really, how many dentists are concerned about their patients' emotional development? He rocks. For the next three days after the appt, DS walked around saying, "I went to the dentist--he's so nice!"

You were right to leave. Way to follow your Mama Bear instincts!
post #15 of 41
10/1/08 at 4:38pm
When I was a kid I remember no parents, and I hated it. When I was older & went to an orthodontist they allowed parents and that was such a relief to me even though I was 12. They even had chairs for parents in the exam rooms. I agree, it might have been "norm" in the past but not so much anymore, look for a dentist you are more comfortable with.
post #16 of 41
10/1/08 at 4:43pm
The only reason why it's "normal" for pediatric dentists to do "no parent" exams is because parents let them. You would *never* find those policies anywhere if every parent refused to let their child be examined without them present...as every parent should, IMO, unless extenuating circumstances apply. I would have left too. My children never go into a doctor's visit, dentist's visit, or any other visit to a medical professional without me there. My presence is simply non-negotiable.
post #17 of 41
10/1/08 at 4:58pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by greeny View Post
Oh, I'm not against nitrous oxide at all! I just don't want to give someone permission to use it when he/she deems it necessary without asking me first. And without me being present. Ugh. I'm glad I left.
Good job, mama!

I feel sure you can find a better dentist.
post #18 of 41
10/1/08 at 5:00pm
Our dentist didn't mind if parents either did or did not come back. She was so gentle that my kids didn't even need Novocain. Even when my oldest got half her tooth filled. The needle itself would have sent her over the edge. They use very very cold water instead. She rocked and I am sorry we moved too far away to use her.
post #19 of 41
10/1/08 at 5:04pm
It never even occurred to me that an office wouldn't allow parents to accompany children! My ped dentists was all about me being in there, and helping, even. I would have turned around a left if they suggested him going back there himself, as he would hysterical the second I was out of sight.
post #20 of 41
10/1/08 at 5:21pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Arduinna View Post
It's normal for dentists 40 years ago. I wouldn't agree to those terms either. Find someone else.
Well, except for the part about using nitrous when needed. I remember getting cavities drilled (not quite 40 years ago but close) with no nitrous and actually, no novacaine either. I absolutely hated going to the dentist!

OP - I hope you find someone you like!
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Mothering › Forums › Health › Health and Healing › Dental › Is this normal? - Pediatric dentist office (New question #35)