Hand-me-down etiquette - Page 4

[queenjane]

Originally Posted by Lisa85

Who knows WHERE it will end up if you give it goodwill, kwim?

After hearing the stories of my brother who volunteered at St. Vincent's (like Goodwill), i dont donate anything i'm not ok with being thrown away. He said they threw away SO MUCH good stuff, especially books (even nice, current ones), toys...he said ALOT of their clothes went into the bin that gets sold to a company for scrap/rags...he told me a story of a little boy who brought his toy box full of little toys, his dad probably told him to go through his toys and pick out the ones to give to the "poor children"...well after they left, the workers just dumped all the little toys into the dumpster (not enough time to go through and sort/tag them), and then sold the toy box. My brother was constantly "rescuing" good stuff from the dumpster, he said they threw away far more than they put out on the floor. And yet of course the public isnt allowed to actually look through those dumpsters, and if you happen to see them throwing something away that you want, they'll be happy to price it and sell it to you.

If i had kids clothes in good condition, i would rather put them on freecycle or donate them somewhere i *know* they will end up in the right hands (much of the "good stuff" where my brother worked was bought first by the staff at a much reduced price)....i shop at thrift stores too (found a ton of super cheap gymboree and gap stuff at the one store i like to frequent that doesnt charge so much for their stuff), so i'm glad people donate, but based upon what i know i dont feel too sorry for them.


Katherine

[chirp]

and i'd just like to say that the last time i went into goodwill the baby clothes were 5-6 dollars A PIECE! and then i just happened to pick up a winter hat, even though i make them, just to have one in case i don't get to it, ANOTHER $6!! Just as much as a shirt or pair of pants. And I'm talking 2T stuff, not big kid, almost adult stuff.

i was shocked, and i'll probably never buy baby clothes there again.

we garage sale it now.

[Hazelnut]

I've gotten piles of fairly worn out baby clothes in the past that I was also annoyed with b/c I felt I had to save it in case she had another baby. I did for a while, and then gave away what I didn't use. It was frustrating b/c it was a lot, but I think it's nice to ask before you assume it's a gift and toss it.

I think it can depend on context. My SIL had some really, really nice baby clothes that were pricey European brands, and I always offered them back for someone else when we were done. She didn't expect us to keep a tally or keep them pristine, but if something was still good, I offered it back. I know she stopped giving them to someone b/c they never offered them back. I was later in a position where I kind of understood how that was annoying. I sent a ton of cute outfits to my cousin when she had a baby, and thought she'd at least offer a few back when I had my second, but she never offered. I also have a ton of in-laws, and everyone gets annoyed that the best stuff kinda stops circulating after one SIL.

I do not think hand-me-downs are exactly the same thing as a gift. I agree that it's best to say if you want them back, or ask if they want them back. I would never expect them all back without letting them know. But I think offering at least some back or mentioning what you did with them kind of returns the spirit. : And I think it's nice.