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October Dating Thread!!! - Page 3

post #41 of 147
10/10/08 at 4:42pm
Thread Starter 
I just wanted to break in and say that I am TOTALLY in love I could not be happier, and he treats me better than anyone ever has. I am going for it. We have such chemistry and a good friendship. It's about time
::

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post #42 of 147
10/10/08 at 6:58pm

more October lovin'

Yay! A long-time friend (I've known him for 12 years) confessed his feelings for me (I've been looking at him differently for sure for a little while now) and he is so respectful and S-L-O-W (he waits for me to move things along ). He brought dinner the other night (he wanted my lil' one to be there so they could spend time together) and said "I definitely care and I'm definitely interested" when we were talking about *us.* A respectful, mutual relationship is so new and fun! and he is a really neat person.

And he complimented my parenting style...

And I love his voice -especially how it resonates while I'm hugging him... Yay!

and, and, and!!!
post #43 of 147
10/10/08 at 11:52pm
...
post #44 of 147
10/11/08 at 11:45am
Quote:
Originally Posted by BelovedK View Post
I just wanted to break in and say that I am TOTALLY in love I could not be happier, and he treats me better than anyone ever has. I am going for it. We have such chemistry and a good friendship. It's about time
::
Oh, Kelly, I am so, so happy for you!!!

Enjoy every single minute!
post #45 of 147
10/11/08 at 12:02pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by tripleaces View Post
I want to help him, and fix him, and I know that I make him happy.
This sentence, esp. the bolded part, really stuck out to me. Why would you want to be with someone that you feel needs to be fixed?

You cannot "fix" someone, only they have the power to change themselves.

Quote:
Originally Posted by tripleaces View Post
is it enough to madly love someone?
IMHO, no...it is not enough to madly love someone. Love is fickle, it fades in and out throughout the lifetime of a relationship. There needs to be more than just love for a relationship to have sticking power.

Quote:
Originally Posted by tripleaces View Post
I feel like I'm living two lives.
This can be OK, depending on what kind of relationship you are looking for. If you are looking for a more casual relationship that will not involve your children, then this shouldn't be an issue.

BUT, if you are wanting more from this relationship, such as wanting to integrate him into your family, then living those two lives will be a problem.

Sounds as though the two of you need to really sit down and talk about what you BOTH want from your relationship.
post #46 of 147
10/11/08 at 12:07pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by emma_goldman View Post
Yay! A long-time friend (I've known him for 12 years) confessed his feelings for me (I've been looking at him differently for sure for a little while now) and he is so respectful and S-L-O-W (he waits for me to move things along ). He brought dinner the other night (he wanted my lil' one to be there so they could spend time together) and said "I definitely care and I'm definitely interested" when we were talking about *us.* A respectful, mutual relationship is so new and fun! and he is a really neat person.

And he complimented my parenting style...

And I love his voice -especially how it resonates while I'm hugging him... Yay!

and, and, and!!!
Sounds like you are having a great time!

It is always such a lovely time in the beginning. That is why you really need to live in all of those sweet moments, really enjoy them... ingrain them in your brain.
post #47 of 147
10/11/08 at 11:48pm
Hey there everyone!: I suppose I'm ready to join in on this thread-I can't even believe it. I seriously didn't think I'd ever date again. But I finally met a guy as weird as me. I like him, he likes me. Weird weird weird!

So everything is going well, like really well, but now I kind of don't know what to do with this. Has anyone else felt that way? It's like I'm really happy about the whole thing but it has really thrown my misanthropic self for a loop. I didn't realize how emotionally cut off I had become and that's kind of a hard hole to dig out of.
post #48 of 147
10/12/08 at 5:34pm
I went on my date. It was fantabulous

I am completely mindblown and heartbroken. He is two years younger than me, no kids and obviously that is a problem if we are talking future. We had a wonderful date, a wonderful night and day after, and I believe that was it
Such is life. At least I had a totally awesome evening, night and day, I felt he showed me love, tenderness, respect (and that just blew me away as I left domestic abuse just 6 months ago), we shared laughter and joy and I feel both very happy for everything we shared, and very sad that it probably wont happen again. I had forgotten the intensity of this part of life - it has all been about children for a long long time..
I feel reborn and renewed, but it sure comes at a price...
post #49 of 147
10/12/08 at 7:55pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Seie View Post
I am completely mindblown and heartbroken. He is two years younger than me, no kids and obviously that is a problem if we are talking future.
Ok, I am a bit confused :

Why is it a problem that he is 2 years younger and has no children?

To me, age is just a number AND every single man I have dated since my divorce have all been childless, which is my personal preference.


Happy to hear that you had a fantabulous (I thought I was the only person that used the word ) time, though.
post #50 of 147
10/13/08 at 3:53am
my guy is 6 years younger with no kids...
post #51 of 147
10/13/08 at 12:33pm
...
post #52 of 147
10/13/08 at 12:43pm
Hmm maybe I should have written obviuosly its a problem for him. I have no problem with him being childless and younger - I think its great - but I think he thinks its a problem. I mean - if you are 29, hoping to start your own family - then a single mom of three wouldnt be your obvious first choice. Or maybe he just didnt find me all that interesting We will see..
post #53 of 147
10/13/08 at 1:36pm
congrats to emma g and beloved k. what's in this autumn air?? i boycotted this month's thread but, of course, something just fell into my lap (so to speak ). i just had an amazing weekend with crazy friends (let's just say ma shroom might like them, haha) and connected with a pretty darn cool guy by the campfire. i am so not into a relationship right now but he's an "alternative" kinda guy and lives 1.5h away, so i don't think it will be an issue. hooray for friendly, drama-free, adult encounters!
:
post #54 of 147
10/13/08 at 2:00pm
Tenatively dipping my toe back in. An old ex of mine has come back into my life. He's nice, good with the kids, attractive, totally digs me. BUt, and this is a huge biggie for me. HE HAS NO JOB!!! He's just moved back to the area and is njot in a hurry to get one. AHHHHHHH! What is it with me and attracting the unemployed??? That's a huge reason why I divorced my ex.

Anyway, I'm just hanging out with this guy in a friendly manner. If he had a job, there might be some realtionship potential but until then.......

COngrats to all you happily dating mommas out there!
post #55 of 147
10/13/08 at 2:58pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by BugMacGee View Post
Tenatively dipping my toe back in. An old ex of mine has come back into my life. He's nice, good with the kids, attractive, totally digs me. BUt, and this is a huge biggie for me. HE HAS NO JOB!!! He's just moved back to the area and is njot in a hurry to get one. AHHHHHHH! What is it with me and attracting the unemployed??? That's a huge reason why I divorced my ex.

Anyway, I'm just hanging out with this guy in a friendly manner. If he had a job, there might be some realtionship potential but until then.......

COngrats to all you happily dating mommas out there!
Why was he an X in the first place?

The job thing would bother me too!
post #56 of 147
10/13/08 at 3:41pm
Yikes, yeah, the no job thing especially now would be scary.

But, you know... no harm in having a little fun. Haha, sorry, weird mood today.
post #57 of 147
10/13/08 at 3:45pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Holland73 View Post
Why was he an X in the first place?

The job thing would bother me too!
Well that's another thing. We'd dated for 7 months when he decided he had to spend a season skiing to get it out of his system (we were in our mid 20's) yet still wanted to keep the realtionship going. I said no.

Apparently, he did the same thing to a serious girlfriend about a year ago. He HAD to move to NYC for a job, but couldn't they still stay together: (they did not of course)

I don't like this pattern. I'm not planning on getting too involved. SHould I just nip it in the bud before it goes anywhere?
post #58 of 147
10/13/08 at 4:07pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by BugMacGee View Post
SHould I just nip it in the bud before it goes anywhere?
Personally, I wouldn't waste the time and energy. You never know if you might be missing out on something that is more 'right' for you.
post #59 of 147
10/13/08 at 4:18pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Holland73 View Post
Personally, I wouldn't waste the time and energy. You never know if you might be missing out on something that is more 'right' for you.
I agree. They dont change - if he used to have a commitment issue you can be pretty darn sure it didnt just go away on its own.

Here I am back on cloud 9. He wants to meet again
post #60 of 147
10/13/08 at 4:40pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Seie View Post
I think he thinks its a problem.
You think he thinks it is a problem? That sounds like a huge supposition.

Did he say something about it to you?
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Mothering › Mothering Discussion Forums › Parenting › Life as a Parent › Single Parenting › October Dating Thread!!!