I just attended a vbac discussion panel through the Bergen County holistic moms. Dr. Parchment was there. She mentioned that she had 3 natural births herself and even switched hospitals to ensure a better birthing experience. She was very upfront about the risks of repeat c-section and didn't try to sound like vbacs were terribly dangerous. She even went as far as saying that she did her residency in the 90s when vbacs were pretty common. Now, young OBs are taught to respond to everthing with a c-section and aren't trained to believe in VBAC. From that perspective, I thought she was good and open to VBAC. I think she does still monitor patients so I wouldn't count on an intervention-free birth but she is probably the best shot for vbac with a doctor in Northern NJ. The fact that she would attend a panel like this speaks volumes. I would not mention any interest in HBAC to her. We did bring up the laws regarding HBAC and I could see the color draining from her face. She did end with a plea to everyone who is considering VBAC that they do so in a hospital.
If you are not far from NY, you might consider homebirth midwives there. I don't know what NJ can do if a midwife is license in NY or another state.
Another option is a traveling midwife. I thought a traveling midwife would be terribly cost-prohibitive but NOT compared to the normal costs of homebirth in this area. By the time you pay a traveling midwife (whose rates are less expensive) and then pay for her air fair, lodging, etc... it's probably about even. Many traveling midwives will bill to insurance too which may further reduce your costs.
I traveled an hour south of me for a vbac. It really was an amazing experience so keep looking until you find someone you are totally comfortable with!!