Frustration

[wildflower18]

I'm not sure how to deal with the frustration I feel when I hear that a new momma who has a good supply has stopped BFing in the first few days due to a lack of support and education. I get frustrated with the momma for not being commited, but also understand that a mother's MH is also very important to her child's development. I'm frustrated because she did not prepare herself fully and surround herself with the resources that she needed in those first few days. And most of all, I'm frustrated with a system/community/world that would not offer the appropriate support to help - no LC at the hospital or near enough to help, birth preparation classes that are seperated from BFing information, etc....

How do you deal with your frustration? How can I become a true lactivist and help to promote a better system and support for pg and newborn mommas? (I do already teach a prenatal yoga class in which I offer community resources and BFing information to those participating in the class.)

[MovingMomma]

I think you've pinpointed the solution!

Other ideas for supporting breastfeeding mothers: become involved with your local LLL! Attend meetings to give as well as get support. Help out with a group job. Apply for Leadership.

[merry-mary]

PM me if you don't mind. Tell me where in PA you're located.

[wildflower18]

I do attend our local LLL meetings, but I don't like the set-up. It's not an official meeting, it's a cafe social and I feel like I end up chasing after my one year old instead of interacting with other mom's. It's not a typical support meeting where you actually get to hear a person's issues in the group and offer support. It's a matter of striking up a conversation in a noisy cafe. Which is hard when my focus is on keeping my child contained to a certain safe area. Anyway - I was about to ask if they could have more of a formal meeting and end with a social.

I'm wondering what other things I could do to promote and support BFing. I don't feel that LLL meetings are really the answer....maybe I'm just not as involved as I could be, most likely because I'm working 2 jobs and trying to figure out this new momma thing. As for LLL leadership - I was under the impression that a pumping momma couldn't be a leader. I pump when I'm at work. Also another issue I found with my local meeting....the majority of them are SAHM's who didn't have much suggestion for a working/pumping momma.

[MovingMomma]

Originally Posted by wildflower18

the majority of them are SAHM's who didn't have much suggestion for a working/pumping momma.

All the more reason for you to go and share your experience, IMO!

Check out this page for info on prerequisites to applying for Leadership.

And this has more info on others ways to help LLL.

[rockportmama]

Hi, Wildflower18!

The frustration issue took me a while to deal with too. Here's what it works down to for me. When I hear these types of stories, I tell myself and the Mama "Well, every drop of colostrum and milk you gave your baby is a precious gift that helped them in so many ways!"

That way, I get myself out of the mindset of blaming the mama when clearly our society is the underlying problem. Also, it gives the mama credit for initiating, instead of lecturing her on why she shouldn't have quit. Hopefully, this positive comment will set her up for initiating again next time and maybe even getting help. Catch more flies with honey....

You know, if you were to become a LLLL, you could start night meetings in a more appropriate location. Night meetings bring out the WOH mamas.

Other general ideas for changing society at large: normalize bf by nursing in public and posting bf stickers at work (if you can).

HTH!

[wildflower18]

I work in an administrative position for a Head Start program. So although I don't work directly with families, we do work with prenatal mom's and newborns. Since I don't have contact, I never even thought about checking to see what my agency does to promote BFing.

I see the idea of catching more flies with honey...it's just hard sometimes because you know if they just kept at it, they could BF, it's not a supply issue. And your offering info and support, but they still chose to quit, don't even want to bother to pump and feed, just straight to formula. I have a hard time understanding the mentality since I wouldn't give up BFing for the world!

Moving Moma - I think maybe I just need to suggest to the leaders that there be a change or an addition to the night meetings. It's nice to socialize, but it just doesn't seem (at least for me) the appropriate setting to truly share and support mommas. Thanks for the links! I'll be sure to check them out.

Merry-mary - thanks for the suggestion. I'll be sure to check it out!