refusing cervical checks

[Honey693]

No one has said a word to me about cervical checks so far, but I'm assuming they'll want to start doing them next week. I'm refusing, but I'm not sure how to do it without sounding mean. Keep your hands off my vagina doesn't exactly sound very nice lol. I'm also assuming they will ask why and I plan on saying there's no point b/c they don't tell you anything about when you're going into labor and since I'm full term it doesn't matter how dilated I am. Does anyone have anything else to add or does that sound ok?

[Bella Catalina]

I think that sounds fine. They will respect that... you have every right to decline anything you don't want. I was actually surprised my midwife mentioned checking me last week (at 34 weeks), despite the fact Adrian was born at 36. And she's not a mEdwife. Even if things are happening down there, I am checking myself and said I'd let her know if there was anything significant. Why risk irritating my cervix or causing further change? At least I can be gentle with myself...

[nerdymom]

I think that sounds good, respectful but firm.

Personally I'm of the "keep your fingers outta my yaya" club...never was very good with minding my manners on the fly. Good think my mw hasn't tried to check me.

[nurnur]

I worked with one mw as an apprentice who was very hands on (we didn't mesh) and she would always say that she had to do them in order to see what position the baby was in, that she could only truly confirm a head was down by doing an internal.....

I hope your MW doesn't push the issue, but it seems like the ones who believe it is necessary always have a "reason" why they must.

vag checks can cause:
bacteria introduction,
cervical dialation thru irritation
premature rupture of membranes
and I think the biggest one: FALSE HOPE THAT YOUR BABY IS COMING SOONER THAN IT IS....

you can walk around at a 3cm for 2 weeks, it really is no indication of when your labor is going to hit. but once we get that in our minds that we should be going into labor soon we set ourselves us for more and more interventions:
stripping membranes, checking more frequently and STRESS

can you tell Im not a fan of vaginal checks!

[Nautical]

I would only agree to one if someone was wrong (cramping, bleeding, etc.) or if I was over 40 weeks.

[Honey693]

Just curious, why would you agree if you were over 40 weeks?

[snowgirl]

That sounds fine. It is your body, your decision.

[buckysprplmonkey]

With my last baby (this one was such a different ballgame), I refused them until I was in labor and then it was only one when I first went in to confirm labor, since I tend to labor off and on for weeks before actually going into "real" labor. My midwives are pretty crunchy and were totally OK with it.

[OkiMom]

Here they don't do them until your 38 week appointment. I plan on requesting that they don't since its really no use and unless Im really past due I won't let them strip the membranes (which is why they want to do the checks over here). Luckily with DD I had an OB that didn't agree with the practice of stripping membranes or checks until past due so I never had to fight her about it. I don't know about this guy, Ive been assigned a new OB so I will see how he is.

[lifeguard]

My OB hasn't said a thing yet about doing them & I'm at 36 weeks. I plan to decline politely by just saying No thanks. I don't think you should have to go any further into it than that.

[clavicula]

No checks here. I don't want anything or anybody to touch my cervix after 33-34 w (not even DH, sorry, honey!), thank you.

[coyotemist]

I'm of a different club. I don't mind them. It gives me a frame of reference if I have to go into the hospital to be monitered (the doc said I was 1cm open on the outside closed on the inside, the nurses or different doc who checks me can say "yes, that's the same" or "no, things have changed").

I completely understand why people say no (and in a low risk normal pregnancy I might have a different opinion, but I don't get to have low risk normal pregnancy's). It's your body.

[clavicula]

Originally Posted by coyotemist

I completely understand why people say no (and in a low risk normal pregnancy I might have a different opinion, but I don't get to have low risk normal pregnancy's). It's your body.

Actually, in a "normal" pregnancy I wouldn't mind them at all. But my cervix (and uterus) is so irritable that after a cervical check, I am contracting regularly for long hours. Not fun.

[Jackies Ladybug]

my midwife has a list on her chart of things she should do and one of them is a VE, so every visit she jokingly asks me if i want one.
she knows the answer, its actually quite humorous that she still asks! the last time she had her hand up there was over a year ago! and i want to keep it that way until my next pap if i can help it!

when they ask, simply say you dont want one.
you dont need to explain any further if you dont want to.

[coyotemist]

Originally Posted by clavicula

Actually, in a "normal" pregnancy I wouldn't mind them at all. But my cervix (and uterus) is so irritable that after a cervical check, I am contracting regularly for long hours. Not fun.

Yep, we all have different situations. Most of the time I'm contracting one way or another, a check doesn't make any difference. In fact, not much is making a difference, Procardia will work if I take a break, but the second day it stops working. I'm not dilating so , it's just a pain.

[snowgirl]

Originally Posted by coyotemist

Yep, we all have different situations.

I agree. I don't want to hijack Crystal's thread, but I go both ways on this one. When I went to L&D in August, they checked me twice. And asked if I wanted to check again, I said, "No" and they were fine with that. At my last app't the nurse asked if I wanted to be checked due to all of the cx and cramping I am having, I said, "No" and they were fine. BUT, my next app't I do want to be checked. I will be 35 weeks and with dd at 35 weeks I was dilating and effacing quite a bit. Then, I gave birth less than 2 weeks later. I know that no one knows when you will give birth, but the dr. said I would go fast(and I did) and to get right to the hospital. We don't have family here and I have to depend on friends to help care for dd. I want them to have a head's up if I am progressing. And maybe I can convince my mom to come stay with us.

Anyhow, just to re-iterate, it is your body and your decision on what to do. And I totally understand those who do not want to be checked.

[hix]

I just didn't take of my clothes or put on the "drape." When my wonderful OB came in the room, I told him "We're not doing that today, Nothing's changing." He just laughed. I wonder if he wasn't relieved--you know they're so busy and always behind schedule... I'll do the same thing each week if I want.

[coyotemist]

Reading this thread is making me smile! Crystal had her baby just a few days later!

Wonder if I refuse my next cervical check if I'll have my baby, too? Hee hee

[ambotchka]

LOL I love how we're all different.

They've only checked once, and that was when I went in for some contrax at the beginning of September. The OB couldn't even find my cervix, claiming it was "way up there." Guess that was good...and it was funny.

I don't care either way, honestly.