Originally Posted by mama in the forest
My kids also ride their bikes & electric scooters around our farm. We live rurally so we have lots of acres for them to do this. This is a different situation to me than leaving them alone in the car in the city. We are home, I am home, I am right there should anything happen...and I know every adult around us.
I can't really understand the logic of being ok with your children being *acres* away from you, but not mere steps/feet away from you (like to run in and pay for gas, or run in and get a pop from 7-11, places practically within eyesight of your car)...i understand you are afraid of "the city" but i think it might be beneficial to look more logically at what you are saying.
|I can't see why this would be strange to you. I frankly think it's strange to lack the instinct to keep your kids with you when you're in a city, surrounded by people you do not know.
Well, i dont live in The City (i am picturing the heart of NYC or Chicago or something??)...i live in a city with about 20,000 people, and there has been maybe one murder here in the past fifty years (it was a family thing, not stranger), the extent of the crime is people getting tools stolen out of their garage.
"Lack of instinct"? Very confusing to me...what does instinct have to do with it? I dont leave my house assuming people are out to hurt us. If there seems to be a situation that is sketchy, i act accordingly. If i'm not sure of what type of neighborhood i'm in, i'm more careful. If there seems to be people around that appear unsafe, i'm more careful.
Frankly, i would be MORE nervous living on acres and acres of land, in a rural area than i would leaving my kid in the car for two minutes at a gas station. To each her own. I remember thinking, when dog sitting for a friend that lived in one of those suburbs surrounded by farmland, how scared i'd be to live there (in fact, i didnt even spend the night, i drove all the way back home to the city, this was when i lived in Cincinnati...i was never so happy to see all those people and lights!)
There have been kids kidnapped right off the road in their rural areas, playing in front of their homes, heck even kidnapped right out of their bedrooms in the middle of the night.
What, precisely, do you think is going to happen to your 12 yr old sitting in a locked car for a few minutes? Your 16 yr old with a license, driving around, is FAR more at risk of "something happening"....i dont get it (havent yet read your other response, so hopefully i will get it then!)
|Yes, something could happen wherever you are. I guarantee you though, that if something does happen, I will be right there to take care of the kids and help the situation if I can.
So you think if you run in to pay for gas (drop off a package, get a pop, whatever) that you will be SO far away from your kids that you couldnt immediately help them?
I think as parents its kind of important to realize we can't control everything, i know thats a scary thought...that something bad could happen and there may be nothing we can do about it. You could live your life with "if onlys" but there just seems to be so much fear in what you've written...i dont think its healthy. I've made choices that could be seen as risky: homebirth, not vaxing, etc...but i know that i can live with the possible consequences of those choices.
Have your kids ever had the chance to navigate a situation on their own? My son can ride his bike down to the local chinese restaurant, order a meal, figure out the tip, and ride home. I think its good for kids to learn this kind of independance (only when they feel ready to of course)...i dont think its a benefit for an older child/teen to be with an adult 100 percent of the time, without fail. And to do that because YOU are scared or "couldnt live with yourself" if something happened seems even less healthy.