Just got told I had to breastfeed out of sight at state Obama Headquarters

[kwoodchuck]

Hi there,
Well, this situation just breaks my heart. I have been volunteering down at my local Obama headquarters (Idaho) office and bringing my 6-month old DD along. Everyone loves her and is glad she is there, or so I thought. I often work the front desk, with other volunteers usually nearby. It's a pretty casual atmosphere. Once in a while I give my DD a milk snack while covering up quite well, IMHO. Well apparently the official staff folks didn't like it, but were too chicken to talk to me directly, so they sent another volunteer out who I'd been working with to deliver the bad news. They asked me to feed her in one of the unoccupied back rooms. I mean, they're not awful places, but still. They said that "they were worried about a particular volunteer (who appeared to be a 16 yr old boy) who 'might be uncomfortable with it'." To my knowledge, he never complained. Obviously the staff was just projecting their own uncomfortableness onto the boy. After hearing the news, I finished up my job and just left, stunned.

I suppose I was pushing the envelope doing what I did. I've just become so comfortable with bfing and NIPing and consider myself a lactivist. I'd been doing it for several days and no one said a word. And of course it was a way to keep the baby quite while I got work done for the campaign. Most everyone there is a woman, many who've had their own kids of course. What is so sad for me is I was working for a leader I strongly believe has women's issues at heart and is certainly a progressive! (altho Idaho is hardly a progressive state).

I don't know what to do know. I am pretty hurt and upset really. I realize perhaps I was out of line. I just don't know. I'm just stunned and pissed right now, and needed a place to vent this. I don't know if I'll be comfortable enough to go back now, but I really want to help the greater cause.

If anyone has any clarification on laws though, that'd be great. I have contacted my local LLL person, but had to leave a phone message.

Thanks for listening,

KH

[subrosa]

I can see that you're uncomfortable with the way this situation played out, but I think you owe it to Obama's campaign to talk to higher-ups about this. The staff at the office are not doing him any favors by treating a nursing mother as if she is doing something wrong. If I were you, I would try to address it with whoever's in charge of the office, and if that doesn't work, of the region. Look at it this way: this kind of action makes Obama look bad. It makes it seem like his campaign looks on nursing in public as dirty or sexual. I think that's how I would present it to whomever I spoke with.

And I'm so sorry that happened. It's very disappointing.

[the_lissa]

I don't see how you were pushing the envelope.

[bobandjess99]

I would take it higher up also. I would be very surprised if this went very far up..normally this kind of petty power trip is the result of some middle-management person with mental hangups completely overstepping their authority.

[Swan3]

Continue to BF wherever you have a right to - if they were too chicken to tell you it's because they know that what they did was wrong. Meanwhile, talk to their higher ups. Document what happens and let them know that you are protected by law in doing this and that this campaign is about inclusiveness. I'd print out a document proving that you are within your rights to do this.

I'm so sorry you went through this, I'm in Canada but I've been following this campaign. I also feel that Obama is progressive and that this is the LAST place you should have to deal with this. Maybe let them know that!!!

You are NOT pushing the envelope, what you are doing is normal and not something to be ashamed of. You are doing a VERY good thing, especially by NIP!!!

s

[Lil'M]

I agree with PP who suggest letting higher ups know what happened. I just checked and although Idaho doesn't have NIP laws, Obama's home state of Illinois does! http://www.llli.org/Law/Bills18.html I'm sure they don't feel you deserve less protection than women in Illinois!

[widdlelou]

Originally Posted by the_lissa

I don't see how you were pushing the envelope.

Totally this! How on earth do you think you were out of line?? Do you think it was becaue you were quietly feeding your baby in the best way you can do? Or was it because you were giving up your time at home to come out and volunteer and bring your child with you so that you can help promote Obama who you feel should for some reason be president?? I don't get it. You were doing great, and nothing wrong and its a shame they made you feel shameful of yourself.

[readytobedone]

Originally Posted by kwoodchuck

Hi there,
Well, this situation just breaks my heart. I have been volunteering down at my local Obama headquarters (Idaho) office and bringing my 6-month old DD along. Everyone loves her and is glad she is there, or so I thought. I often work the front desk, with other volunteers usually nearby. It's a pretty casual atmosphere. Once in a while I give my DD a milk snack while covering up quite well, IMHO. Well apparently the official staff folks didn't like it, but were too chicken to talk to me directly, so they sent another volunteer out who I'd been working with to deliver the bad news. They asked me to feed her in one of the unoccupied back rooms. I mean, they're not awful places, but still. They said that "they were worried about a particular volunteer (who appeared to be a 16 yr old boy) who 'might be uncomfortable with it'." To my knowledge, he never complained. Obviously the staff was just projecting their own uncomfortableness onto the boy. After hearing the news, I finished up my job and just left, stunned.

I suppose I was pushing the envelope doing what I did. I've just become so comfortable with bfing and NIPing and consider myself a lactivist. I'd been doing it for several days and no one said a word. And of course it was a way to keep the baby quite while I got work done for the campaign. Most everyone there is a woman, many who've had their own kids of course. What is so sad for me is I was working for a leader I strongly believe has women's issues at heart and is certainly a progressive! (altho Idaho is hardly a progressive state).

I don't know what to do know. I am pretty hurt and upset really. I realize perhaps I was out of line. I just don't know. I'm just stunned and pissed right now, and needed a place to vent this. I don't know if I'll be comfortable enough to go back now, but I really want to help the greater cause.

If anyone has any clarification on laws though, that'd be great. I have contacted my local LLL person, but had to leave a phone message.

Thanks for listening,

KH

i also am volunteering for obama--i went canvassing last weekend and am gonna phone bank this weekend! :

this might be a weird suggestion, but i would actually write a letter to barack obama. tell him you were really into volunteering for his campaign, but it makes it difficult when your co-workers are uncomfortable with your baby eating. 6 months is little. not like my DD (almost 17 months) who i could probably take to a back room on the off-chance she wanted milkies during the couple hours i was there. but you know what? i probably wouldn't; i'd nurse her out in the open like you did.

you're right, it's a political issue, it's a woman's issue, it's a HEALTH issue. i would use this as an opportunity to make sure our (hopefully!) future president understands that breastfeeding is a woman's right, and a child's right, and something he needs to support.

but i'd also write to LLL and to whoever heads up that campaign office, or your top-level community organizer. this is really a shame IMO.

[MadameXCupcake]

I would actually go higher up, as high as you could go.
I would also write ABM[Obama, dumb typo] or who ever handles his mail?
Maybe you somehow could bring attention to this issue and Obama would be forced to address his stance on NIP and the current laws or something.

Maybe he'd want better laws, we can dream right?

[kwoodchuck]

Hello Mamas,
Thanks SOOO much for your support!! You are truly wonderful! This is just what I need right now. I want to play a bit of devil's advocate here though just to sharpen my thoughts. So...they didn't ask me to not BF at all, or to go to some horrible closet or the bathroom. Just in a room where fewer people would see me. And definitely not at the front desk where everyone walks in. I am volunteering, so they can also just tell me they do not need my help at any time. I want to make sure that if I do some official complaining, I am within my rights and reason. Idaho does not have a specific law, you know, so it's just 'legal by default' here I guess.

Madame cupcake, who is ABM? Do you mean Barack himself? It seems so unlikely I'd really be able to actually reach HIM! But wouldn't that be great?

Anyway, I will continue to welcome your comments, keep up the good work!

[MadameXCupcake]

Originally Posted by kwoodchuck

Hello Mamas,
Thanks SOOO much for your support!! You are truly wonderful! This is just what I need right now. I want to play a bit of devil's advocate here though just to sharpen my thoughts. So...they didn't ask me to not BF at all, or to go to some horrible closet or the bathroom. Just in a room where fewer people would see me. And definitely not at the front desk where everyone walks in. I am volunteering, so they can also just tell me they do not need my help at any time. I want to make sure that if I do some official complaining, I am within my rights and reason. Idaho does not have a specific law, you know, so it's just 'legal by default' here I guess.

Madame cupcake, who is ABM? Do you mean Barack himself? It seems so unlikely I'd really be able to actually reach HIM! But wouldn't that be great?

Anyway, I will continue to welcome your comments, keep up the good work!

Well when you do the spell check it gives you ABM since it thinks Obama is a mis-spelling I swear I hit ignore spelling not change.

My excuse I was nursing at the time.

[ancoda]

to you. I really think what they did was wrong. I have actually encountered very few young men who are truly uncomfortable around breastfeeding woman, and actually several who have said they do not even notice. I think they are simply using him for the scapegoat.
SS this happened to you.

[mamajake]

You were definitely NOT pushing the envelope. Idaho law may not protect you, but Obama (or at least the staff you will be able to reach by going up the ladder) should. I can't help but think WWMD (What Would Michelle DO)? Breastfeed your child. Go to the superiors of those who told you to move and then their superiors until the local folks get the reality check they need.

[Breeder]

I'd take it on up the ladder.

[Flower of Bliss]

Obama was a co-sponsor of IL's Woman's Right to Breastfeed Act Certainly he would support your right to nurse at his campaign headquarters.

You're doing an awesome job nursing your DD Thanks for volunteering for Obama too

[jessjgh1]

I think most of the people you mentioned seem like they are supportive but area also projecting many stereotypes that are common (as you surmised). They are probably doing this to 'prevent' something and didn't think about how it might make you feel. Just go in and assume you have the support you HAVE had- -help get them to understand that the right solution is NOT to hide you away. That their solution is an inconvenience to you- if you feel so inclined, that it is a bit insulting, especially now that you had some time to think. And I'd say its okay to tell them that you did feel ashamed and hurt, confronted, surpriised yesterday--- which does not reflect the values or environment you expected when volunteering with Obama.

If it was because of the younger boy, he can certainly leave and go back to the same offices they are sugesting you use while you nurse. They can suggest that to him, but I doubt thay need to go that far. And give him some credit too (you suggested this, just reinforcing this).... he may be curious or uncomforable and neither of those feelings are bad or wrong... he might be completely FINE with breastfeeding. He could be uncomfortable because he's aware of what people MIGHT think and just doesn't know how he should act while you are breastfeeding.

I really doubt a 16 year old boy is going to file a 'complaint' on you. Someone might feel like they are doing him a favor (perhaps noticing a little awkwardness) and 'speaking up' if they mentioned this to the supervisor. She feels like she is just smoothing things over to make everyoen happy with just a minor request to you, etc, etc (spiralling back to the next generation). It might be more appropriate to smooth things over with the 16 year old (someone could just say--- you know, its okay to talk to KH when she's nursing the baby, nursing is normal and at baby's age it keeps her happy).


Good luck! Keep us posted

Jessica

[shllywlly]

Can you report this to www.firstright.org? They can offer suggestions on how to proceed and give you talking points. It will also be documented in a database to keep track of all breastfeeding discrimination.

[Chandar]

Originally Posted by shllywlly

Can you report this to www.firstright.org? They can offer suggestions on how to proceed and give you talking points. It will also be documented in a database to keep track of all breastfeeding discrimination.

This please

[uumomma]

Originally Posted by readytobedone

i also am volunteering for obama--i went canvassing last weekend and am gonna phone bank this weekend! :

this might be a weird suggestion, but i would actually write a letter to barack obama. tell him you were really into volunteering for his campaign, but it makes it difficult when your co-workers are uncomfortable with your baby eating. 6 months is little. not like my DD (almost 17 months) who i could probably take to a back room on the off-chance she wanted milkies during the couple hours i was there. but you know what? i probably wouldn't; i'd nurse her out in the open like you did.

you're right, it's a political issue, it's a woman's issue, it's a HEALTH issue. i would use this as an opportunity to make sure our (hopefully!) future president understands that breastfeeding is a woman's right, and a child's right, and something he needs to support.

but i'd also write to LLL and to whoever heads up that campaign office, or your top-level community organizer. this is really a shame IMO.

what she said!

[MommyJoia]

listen... you were feeding your baby... would they have asked you to go to another room to feed your baby with a bottle?

You need to complain to the higher ups asking that very question.

send a letter to Obama himself.

Report this to firstright.