I have ADD. My two oldest boys have ADHD. My middle son has also has ODD and a mild processing disorder. My oldest was dx'd through the psychology clinic at our local children's hospital. Ds2 was diagnosed through the child development center of a major university that does a lot of ADHD research. The psychology clinic was covered by our insurance, the cdc was covered by a research grant (we were admitted to a study).
A question to start with is whether your son's behavior is impacting his day to day dealing with the world (especially school).
If he is having difficulty in school, you can ask for what our district call a student study team. It usually consists of the teacher, principal, learning specialist and sometimes the school pyschologist. It consisted of some classroom observation, basic behavior questionaires (parent and teacher), maybe some testing for learning disabilities. About 60% of children with ADHD have some degree of learning disablity. My oldest has no additional learning challenges, my middle son has a mild processing problem.
If problems are identified, in my district an IEP study is then called. That is when the big guns come out and the student receives the entire spectrum of psychological, cognitive and behavioral testing. We did this with ds2. He didn't qualify for an IEP, but did get a 504 that lays out accomdations such as priority seating, extra time to finish work, a safe plan for when he gets overwhelmed, an extra set of textbooks for home, etc. It works well. Communication with my children's schools is great. I know the teachers and we keep on top of problems as they develope. Some weeks I am having daily communication with teachers. Other times, weeks will go by with things just humming along and no difficulties what so ever. We "go with the flow".
Both of my boys take medication for their ADHD, but that is in addition to a lot of other interventions. I would highly suggest looking into the Feingold diet. It can really make a difference with some kids. My boys take nutritional supplements, occasionally see a chiropractor and have done movement therapy (brain-gym). We are looking into a drum therapy program for ds2. He is also in therapy with a psychologist who specializes in ADHD and other behavioral issues. I looked into biofeedback, but not only was it WAAAAAAY expensive, I was not convinced the control it teaches carries over to real world application as an ADHD treatment.
My boys know they have ADHD. We NEVER allow it to be an excuse for their behavior. But understanding that they may not always have control over their response to things helps us parent them more effectively.
I haven't really found any one book that helped me. I did get some insight reading "The Explosive Child" and "Raising Your Spirited Child". I would suggest going to your local bookstore or library and just browse the stacks.
I hope this little slice of personal experience helps you.
