Is there ANY decent music out there for preteens? - Page 2

[holothuroidea]

I can understand that you don't see a lack of faith. I'm sorry that we disagree there... it's just that if my mom said those things about me when I was 12 I would have been deeply hurt and offended. Everyone is different, though.

However, the hypocrisy is just a matter of fact.

The language might not be as blatant but Linkin Park, Guns N Roses and Led Zepplin all have more than their fair share of songs about sex and violence and even violent sex (welcome to the jungle, anybody? feel my serpentine, i wanna hear you scream, i wanna watch you bleed, etc. etc...). Not to mention the drugs. Oh, boy the drugs.

"Oh, honey, you can't listen to that awful music about rape. Here, listen to this song about a prostitute drug addict instead." Not hypocritical? Give me a break.

[MusicianDad]

Originally Posted by holothuroidea

However, the hypocrisy is just a matter of fact.

The language might not be as blatant but Linkin Park, Guns N Roses and Led Zepplin all have more than their fair share of songs about sex and violence and even violent sex (welcome to the jungle, anybody? feel my serpentine, i wanna hear you scream, i wanna watch you bleed, etc. etc...). Not to mention the drugs. Oh, boy the drugs.
.

Hypocrisy isn't a matter of fact though...

Stairway to Heaven - Led Zepplin

Paradise City - Guns N Roses

Pushing Me Away - Linkin Park

Just because a band has some song that deal with drugs, sex, violence... doesn't mean they ALL do. Heck, those songs don't even have swearing in them.

[Irishmommy]

My 8 and 14 year olds (dds) favourite groups are Abba and Queen, mainly Queen.

Dd1 a couple of years ago loved one song, soulja boy I think, and I had her read the lyrics and explained them to her. She hasn't listened to it since.

[amydidit]

Originally Posted by holothuroidea

Your complete lack of faith in your daughter is much more disturbing and worrisome to me than any of those lyrics. Do you really think she is that incapable?

Incapable? No. But she is a follower, that is fact. That doesn't mean she is incapable of making her own decisions, but the decisions she makes are heavily influenced by what her friends like.

Originally Posted by Mama Poot

I'd say as long as she's listening to more than one kind of music and not stagnating on the local pop stations, she's fine.

Well, she does have some other musical interests, but no where near as much as what I quoted at the beginning. On her song list she had about 180 songs. 150 were songs and groups all similar to My Chemical Romance.

Originally Posted by nursemummy

Um, I don't see it as hypocritical or a lack of faith.

I have two teenage sisters - one is 17, one is 19.

The 17 year old will follow her friends to the end of the earth and back. Dresses, talks, acts, like them, etc. likes the same boys, music, movies.

The 19 year old is the complete opposite. She's a leader in every sense of the word. She sets her own likes and dislikes. She has as many friends, but they are all individuals too!

And my two sisters were obviously raised the same way.

I don't think there's anything wrong with avoiding misogynist, violent music with such a young adolescent. Not when there's so much more out there.

We get flack for not letting our five year old watch Hanna Montana, Suite Life of Zack and Cody, or Camp Rock/High School Musical.

Guess what? I don't care. She's a child. Practically a toddler. I'm not underestimating her abilities - I'm allowing her to enjoy childhood free of influences that I can control (because I'm aware there's some I can't).

Sorry OP, I realize you can defend yourself. This just struck a nerve with me.

Thank you. That's my point exactly. Some people just are followers. When we lived in Phoenix my DD wore pink, wanted to be a cheerleader, etc. She was happy with all that. But hmm, so were all her friends. When we moved to Colorado she made different friends and immediately won't wear pink, or anything with pink in it. HATES cheerleaders. Etc. All her tastes changed to mimic those of her new friends.

Originally Posted by holothuroidea

I can understand that you don't see a lack of faith. I'm sorry that we disagree there... it's just that if my mom said those things about me when I was 12 I would have been deeply hurt and offended. Everyone is different, though.

However, the hypocrisy is just a matter of fact.

The language might not be as blatant but Linkin Park, Guns N Roses and Led Zepplin all have more than their fair share of songs about sex and violence and even violent sex (welcome to the jungle, anybody? feel my serpentine, i wanna hear you scream, i wanna watch you bleed, etc. etc...). Not to mention the drugs. Oh, boy the drugs.

"Oh, honey, you can't listen to that awful music about rape. Here, listen to this song about a prostitute drug addict instead." Not hypocritical? Give me a break.

Well since I don't TELL her I think she's a follower, etc I really don't see a problem with it. I don't see saying that as offensive though since it's a FACT.

And I should have clarified, when I say I listened to those bands when I was younger I was referring to when I was about 17/18/etc. At my DD's age I was listening to Michael Jackson, NKOTB, Madonna, etc. And not all the songs were appropriate for my age either, looking back I wish my mom had controlled what I listened too. She didn't really care though.

Originally Posted by MusicianDad

Hypocrisy isn't a matter of fact though...

Stairway to Heaven - Led Zepplin

Paradise City - Guns N Roses

Pushing Me Away - Linkin Park

Just because a band has some song that deal with drugs, sex, violence... doesn't mean they ALL do. Heck, those songs don't even have swearing in them.

This is true. With the groups I'm more familiar with too I feel I can better choose out the songs which aren't a horrible influence.

Originally Posted by Irishmommy

My 8 and 14 year olds (dds) favourite groups are Abba and Queen, mainly Queen.

Dd1 a couple of years ago loved one song, soulja boy I think, and I had her read the lyrics and explained them to her. She hasn't listened to it since.

Oh I wished that worked with DD. I've read over the lyrics to a couple songs with her and she just doesn't see anything wrong with them. Then gets upset that I "don't understand" because ALL her friends listen to it so it must be okay!

[PoppyMama]

My parents controlled the music I listened to so I would listen to music down the street. I don't control my childrens music and my dds fav band is MCR (the name the TRUE fans of My Chemical Romance use) and we took her to see them for her 11th birthday. I'm sick to death of hearing them now and I have banned the playing of them at an audible level for the the foreseeable future but I don't see how banning music from a kids MP3 is going to accomplish anything. If she doesn't like the music in her MP3 why would she use it and then what is the point of having one.

[amydidit]

If she chooses not to use her MP3 because she doesn't have MCR on it, well that's her choice. I've listened to a few of their songs, read their lyrics, and it's not something I'm even remotely comfortable with allowing her to listen to, period. Not even just at non-audible levels.

[kay4]

my 10 and 13 yo like The Jonas Brothers, hannah montana, miley cryus (I know they are the same lol) Taylor Swift, Carrie Underwood, Avril Lavigne, Jordin Sparks.

[bigeyes]

are there clean versions of the same songs on itunes? I know with some of the (c)rap songs my dsd listens to there are explicit and clean versions to choose from.

If there isn't a clean version, we don't buy it.

And yes, I do have an explicit list on my ipod I play in the car when the kids are not with me. They don't hear NIN or a couple of other particularly filthy tunes I find amusing but inappropriate for pre-teens to be singing or hearing.

[Ceinwen]

Originally Posted by amydidit

If she chooses not to use her MP3 because she doesn't have MCR on it, well that's her choice. I've listened to a few of their songs, read their lyrics, and it's not something I'm even remotely comfortable with allowing her to listen to, period. Not even just at non-audible levels.

I hear what people are saying about 'well, they'll just do it on their own anyway, with friends, etc.'

Don't we say the same thing about smoking/drinking/sex?

What happened to talking to our kids about choices, things we find acceptable, etc?

For the record, I'm no prude. I listen to all kinds of stuff that would make my mother blush. But I'm married with two kids. When I was at home, we followed the rules.

My parents were big anti-smokers. So, we talked and talked and talked about not smoking. ALL my friends smoked, and the pressure I got... But guess what? I knew how a) gross B) unhealthy and c) expensive smokes were. So, I resisted.

On the other hand, alcohol was treated with more tolerance. We grew up, say past age thirteen, allowed to have wine with dinner. Then, say at fifteen, allowed to have a beer at a family BBQ. Totally demystified alcohol, I never snuck around or stole booze from my parents.

Kay, may have gotten OT there. Basically I'm saying what's wrong with teaching and enforcing rules/values that we believe are true for us? Everyone will adjust or make their own rules when they leave home. All we can do is give them the best tools to work with.

[Storm Bride]

I guess that's going to depend on what you consider "decent" music. My first love in music since 1983 has been heavy metal (NWOBHM and "classic", mostly...but some "hair bands", thrash, etc., too). Iron Maiden is my all time favourite band, nudging out Rush by a thread and everybody else by a landslide. And...they have some really disturbing lyrics. Aside from 22 Acacia Avenue, there's not a lot of sex - but there's a whole lot of violence.

I'd also like to point out:

Originally Posted by MusicianDad

And there's classics, Led Zepplin, Guns and Roses, Rolling Stones.

Originally Posted by amydidit

I like a couple Linken Park, and when I was younger I loved Guns N Roses, Led Zepplin, etc. That's a good idea. Thanks!

Guns N Roses...hated them at first, and when I saw them live in...'89?, then sucked royally. I grew to like them a lot, however:

I wanna watch you bleed.
I wanna hear you scream.
...both from Welcome to the Jungle

See me hit you, you fall down.
Turn around b***h, I got a use for you.
...both from It's So Easy

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by amydidit

And I should have clarified, when I say I listened to those bands when I was younger I was referring to when I was about 17/18/etc. At my DD's age I was listening to Michael Jackson, NKOTB, Madonna, etc. And not all the songs were appropriate for my age either, looking back I wish my mom had controlled what I listened too. She didn't really care though.

How would she have done that? I had friends whose parents "controlled" what they listened to. So...they didn't own the tapes. At least, they didn't own tapes that their parents had bought. Some of them had copies. Some of them bought their own. Some just listened to the copies their friends owned.

[MusicianDad]

Guns n roses songs that don't have offensive lyrics:

Think About You
Don't Cry
Sweet Child 'O Mine
You Can't Put Your Arms Around a Memory

I can probably think of more, but this is really just off the top of my head.

[mtiger]

My 14yo listens to mostly country, unlike the majority of her friends.

My almost 17yo listens to a lot of AltRock, including MCR, AFS, etc., but also to a pretty wide variety of genres. I'm not fond of all the music or all of the lyrics, but he's very amenable to my (and even his grandma!) listening to "his" music and discussing it. Some of the stuff where I don't like the lyrics, he listens to because the composition is good; where he doesn't always like the music, the lyrics are good. And he usually has a different interpretation of the lyrics than what might be on the surface.

I prefer to have a mature discussion with my kid(s) about the things they listen to, read or watch instead of banning any of the above.

[amydidit]

Well there is a big difference between a 12 year old and a 17 year old. Especially when the 12 yr old refuses to see there is anything wrong with lyrics about rape and murder.

Banning of certain music WILL and IS occuring in my house and I don't feel bad about it. I'd really prefer if this thread could just get back to suggestions about better music, instead of trying to make me feel bad for doing what I know is best for my DD.

[bigeyes]

I feel the same way you do for the most part. When I was growing up they bleeped out swear words on the radio and the things that are said in songs now just weren't said.

I saw one woman in print somewhere when Madonna first came on the scene put it this way; When I was 6 I was singing how much is that doggie in the window. My 6 year old is singing Like a virgin.

I think that's extremely effed up. I choose not to play certain songs in the car because I don't feel like explaining sexual references. When they're older, we'll see.

I don't know what to tell you other than to look for the clean versions, if they exist. We don't ever watch MTV or VH1, and fortunately radio reception is non-existent here, so we almost manage to control what they are exposed to except for what other children might bring onto the school bus.

[mtiger]

Originally Posted by amydidit

Well there is a big difference between a 12 year old and a 17 year old. Especially when the 12 yr old refuses to see there is anything wrong with lyrics about rape and murder.

Granted. However (and I was actually just coming back to add this), my boy's been listening to this sort of stuff for years. Their first concert, in fact, was GC (Good Charlotte) with Sum41 opening. At 12 & 10. So I've been in the same place. My boy composes and writes lyrics & poetry, so is always looking at what's out there with a very critical eye.

Heck - when I was 12, I was listening to "Afternoon Delight" and "Island Girl" with no clue as to what they were about. Took my brother to open my eyes.

Originally Posted by amydidit

Banning of certain music WILL and IS occuring in my house and I don't feel bad about it. I'd really prefer if this thread could just get back to suggestions about better music, instead of trying to make me feel bad for doing what I know is best for my DD.

I don't think you should feel badly about it. We all do what we feel is best for our kids. I happen to feel it's best not to restrict my kids in their subject matter. At 12, my daughter was reading meaty books about Nazi medical experiments and the Nuremberg trials in detail. Certainly not my first choice for her. But it grabbed something in her, and we've had some very interesting discussions about ethics and where one draws lines - and why.

You may happen to feel differently. That's okay.

[amydidit]

I'm sorry, my comment probably came across sounding like it was directed soley to you. It wasn't meant to be.

I might not feel so strongly about the songs she listens to if I felt she was mature enough to deal with it. Sadly I don't think she is. I tried again a few minutes ago to talk to her about the music since I know she's not happy with my decision. But she's just not getting it. For example, we discussed the lyrics about beating a girl. She just ketp saying, "but it's not a big deal! So what? It's not a big deal!" Um yeah... sorry DD but it IS a big deal.

[bigeyes]

Originally Posted by amydidit

I'm sorry, my comment probably came across sounding like it was directed soley to you. It wasn't meant to be.

I might not feel so strongly about the songs she listens to if I felt she was mature enough to deal with it. Sadly I don't think she is. I tried again a few minutes ago to talk to her about the music since I know she's not happy with my decision. But she's just not getting it. For example, we discussed the lyrics about beating a girl. She just ketp saying, "but it's not a big deal! So what? It's not a big deal!" Um yeah... sorry DD but it IS a big deal.

That kills me. I would probably just lose it and end up taking the ipod away at that point.

[beanma]

Does she have someone else older in her life that she looks up to? Maybe an older cousin, or cool aunt or uncle, or a friend of the family could suggest some cool bands? I agree that coming from you any suggestions may fall on deaf ears, but coming from someone else that she already thinks is cool, the same suggestion might be just the thing.

I would have a talk with my daughter about exactly what I found objectionable in those lyrics. Other than lyrics, though, I'm wide open to whatever weird stuff anyone wants to listen to. I may not want to hear polka at midnight, but as long as it's not advocating rape and murder I can just ask her to turn it down instead of turning it off.

[amydidit]

Yeah, I can deal with nearly any style of music, it's the lyrics I have a problem with.

Sadly we don't have anyone around here she can turn to. Well, there's my SIL that my DD likes a lot, but she lets her kids listen to stuff like that. She definitely parents a LOT different than I do. (She lets her 10 year old son and 14 year old daughter get drunk and smoke pot. She gave her boys a DVD of soft-porn because they were curious, etc. But that's all issues for another thread) So no, I don't think having DD talk to her about suggestions is a good idea.