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Spam me with stories of dads who love Homebirth  

post #1 of 25
10/5/08 at 12:01am
Thread Starter 
I've talked about it a lot, but does anyone have a husband who blogged about it? Or any comments/stories.

If so, please post! I want to share them with DH!
post #2 of 25
10/5/08 at 12:20am
My husband is not a blogger! He does love homebirth though. We had two hospital births (mostly because of him), and then two homebirths. He is a huge homebirth advocate now. He was a much bigger part of our homebirths and so much more important to the process - and it meant a lot to him. It was important to him to be important to me - if that makes any sense! He enjoyed being able to lay in bed with his family and bond so soon after the birth. He's said that he felt much more needed at our homebirths - and it was true, he was much more needed.
post #3 of 25
10/5/08 at 12:37am
My husband was my biggest supporter when I first said I wanted to have a homebirth for our third baby. What more can I say? He was ecstatic about the birth, how gentle it was on our son, on me, our ability to bond immediately, everything. Our fourth baby was also born at home (and hubby caught his daughter!) and our fifth baby due in February will also be born at home. I definitely needed him a lot more than I ever did having a hospital birth, and I think that was empowering for him because it made him feel involved and important, and indeed, I could not have a homebirth without his support.
post #4 of 25
10/5/08 at 5:05pm
I was hoping my husand blogged about our birth, but other than a post saying that the baby had arrived, he didn't. He doesn't often blog about the very most personal things. He's a HUGE homebirth advocate though -- he loves being able to be involved in the birth and totally present for the baby immediately, and credits the care he had to take with our first (our midwives wanted him to check heartbeat and respiration and temperature on both of us for the first 48 hours at home) with getting him started on his medical career.
post #5 of 25
10/5/08 at 5:23pm
funnily enough, my own dad is a very pro-homebirth dad. He hasn't blogged about it, but he is very supportive. I was supposed to be born at home and ended up as an emergency c-sec due to the midwife climate at the time and a couple of complications (San Diego in 1989 was not a good place for homebirth). Both of my parents believe that had they been on their own, or with the midwife they originally wanted, that I would have been born at home. Two years after I was born, they had my brother at home. They used to teach Bradley classes together as well.
Even though my dad did see the 'what could go wrong' side of homebirth, he stayed a strong supporter, and is still.
My fiance is a little less sure. He is fully willing to support whatever I want to do, but I think until he sees it happen he is going to be scared of it. He started out very very apprehensive but has become a bit of a convert after talking so much to the midwife and my dad, and knowing about my mom's homebirths. He is pro homebirth, but scared for the individual circumstances - he thought it was awesome when we went to visit my mom when my brother was a few days old, but scared for me doing it.
And he's scared I'm gonna spill water all over the place from the tub
post #6 of 25
10/5/08 at 5:56pm
My DH LOVES telling the guys at work that he caught our youngest at home. It is a major source of pride for him that he was my main support, and his wife is a strong, independant minded woman. I think actually being the FIRST to touch our son, to push the cord over his head and hold him as he was born, added a whole new dimension to his identity as a father. I have seen a deeper emotional involvement and more self confidence in his relationship with ALL of our children!
post #7 of 25
10/5/08 at 8:39pm
DH didn't write in it in a blog after our DD's birth, but here is his version of the story. It is interesting to read about his perception of the "pain" I was experiencing. I didn't really think of the contractions as painful until near the end.

(English is not his first language, so sometimes the grammar is a little off.)


I woke up at approximately 5:45 am with a feeling that something is bound to happen. DW, realizing that I was awake, told me that she started having contractions that were more intense than usual, but didn’t think that they were the real thing yet. You see, our midwife left for Oregon the day before and we were hoping that we won’t go into labor until she was back. I guess we kind of run on out luck on that one. DD was ready to come and she wasn’t waiting for our midwife to be here. Since we knew that our midwife (D) wasn’t going to be here during 5 days from Wednesday to Monday, we tried to make some back up plans just in case DW would go into labor during that time. We spoke with our Bradley teacher [and apprentice midwife with D], K, about this eventuality. She agreed to be our Douhla/Midwife if DW went into labor. One little hang up was that she would have to travel outside our area on Friday August 10th. So we really had a back up that we really wanted for two days, Wednesday and Thursday. If DW would have gone into labor during Friday – Sunday time period we would have had to go to the hospital, and even though we liked our back up doctor there, we really would have preferred to stay at home as we planned.

As luck would have it DW went into labor on Thursday morning, the optimal time for the second option. To get back to the birthing story, DW told me she was going to take a shower and move around a bit and see if the contractions were just practice or Braxton-Hicks contractions that were stronger than usual. So I decided that I would stay in bed for a while longer and went back to sleep. I didn’t sleep very long waking up around 1 hour later, so I was up around 6:30 am or so. DW already fed the dogs and took them out and was on the couch watching the Today Show (our daily source of crappy news). When asked how she felt, she said that the contractions were coming around 7 minutes apart with being around 45 seconds long, a beginning of first stage. DW requested whole wheat chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast with some extra eggs in the batter. At that point I started to realize that this was the day that we will remember for ever (at least some parts). I told her to stay on the couch and went on to making her breakfast. The contractions were still coming but they weren’t very strong. We ate breakfast and talked a bit about what is coming. I don’t think that DW believed that she was in real labor at that point.

After breakfast, we sat around and timed the contractions while watching the TV. The dogs were running around and were trying to figure out what was going on. Tira [dog] was very concerned for DW and Loki [dog] didn’t want to leave my lap, even when I had to get up and move about getting things. We have called K to tell her that we think that the contractions are not practice this time and that maybe she can start getting ready to come over. She said that she will go and get things from D's office and then will head on down to our house, since she lives around 1 hour or so away. K asked me how DW was doing and how her contractions were coming along. I told her that DW was still in the early first stage since she was smiling and was still pretty talkative. K asked me if we were still comfortable with doing the home birth and that made feel really good because I was afraid that she wasn’t going to be comfortable with doing that by herself without D. So K was on her way getting the things she needed for the birth from D's office and her house. During that time DW went into a middle second stage when she got a bit more serious and had to concentrate on the contractions more. Up until that point I was being quiet and let her go through the contractions on her own, but when she got a bit more serious about concentration I started with our relaxation chant. I could tell that she relaxed dramatically the moment I started to talk and that made me feel better about my part in the birthing process.

I think that DW started to realize that this was a real thing when the contractions started to come at regular intervals and were a lot more intense than what she has experienced before. Earlier we were discussing the possible pain of the contractions and the perceived need for the medications to relieve that pain. DW was trying to correlate the contraction pain with the stubbing of the toe, you don’t run to get an epidural when you stub your toe, she said. As the contractions started to be more intense she mentioned that that feeling was more than just stubbing your toe. She consented that she can see how some people would feel the need for medication. Knowing that she was still in the light mood and not hurting too much at that point I have asked her if she would want any medication, she looked at me and in a serious tone of voice said that there were NO medications, they didn’t exist. At that point I knew that she would do just fine throughout the labor.

The contractions were coming at somewhat irregular intervals for couple of hours; either that or I didn’t know what I was doing when I was timing them. Once I got a hang of the timing process, I started to realize that DW was having contractions every 5 minutes for about a minute. At that point I called K and told her that we were getting into a serious phase of the labor and that DW feels the need to really concentrate on her work. K told me that she was on her way and that she would be there in about an hour or so. This was at around 11:00 am. DW was laboring for approximately 5.5 - 6 hours. We have called DW’s parents around 9 am and told them that she was in labor and that we thought it was a real thing. MIL called FIL and they were on their way at noon. Around 9 am I turned our cell phones on silent mode and had my phone next to me in case K was calling. DW was going through contractions beautifully; I was trying to help as much as I could by talking to her, doing our relaxation chant, massaging her back and getting her water and cool rags for her neck. DW said later that all those things helped immensely but during that time I felt as if I wasn’t doing enough to help her.

K got to our apartment around noon. She took DW's blood pressure and listened to baby’s heartbeat during and between the contractions. The heartbeat varied only by 10 bpm which is really good. I was relieved to hear that and we went on with the contractions. DW spent a lot of time on the floor dealing with the contractions. It seemed that being in “all fours” position really helped with coping with pain.

Around 1 pm I started filling up the kiddie pool that we got for laboring/possible water birth. It took close to one hour to fill up the pool. I have turned up the water heater around 9 am and the water was really hot. I started to fill up with cold water and then turned up the heat when we got to about 1/3 of the water volume in the pool. DW got into pool around 2 pm and I joined her in the pool at the same time. I spent around an hour in the pool and then I got too hot and realized that I need to run around and get things and I couldn’t do that in the pool. So I got out and dried up a bit. DW was really in a serious phase of stage one. Both of us lost all sense of time, I do not remember how long DW was in that phase, DW doesn’t seem to remember either. At some point I realized that DW was getting into a transition phase. She asked me at one point “How do I know it is working?” That is when I knew that we were getting close. When I asked K if DW was in the transition she said that she was close if not there already and that is when DW started to show signs of being ready to push. She didn’t seem that she had much control over the pushing urge and at one point said that she had to go to the bathroom. When asked if the urge only came when the contractions were active she said yes. We were getting close to the pushing phase.
After the end of one of the contractions (they were coming fast and furious now), DW said that her water broke. K confirmed that visually. She checked DW and said that the baby’s head was coming down and it shouldn’t take very long for it to come out. The pushing phase has begun. DW was trying to control the pushing but the urge was too strong. After about 4 pushing times the head crowned, after another couple of pushes the baby slid down on the bottom of the pool and K helped DW to grab the baby and put it to breast. It took a small amount of time that felt like an eternity for the baby to cough and start breathing. K went for a bulb to suck the mucus out of the baby’s mouth. That is when we found out that the baby was a girl. It was funny that everyone was thinking that it was going to be a boy, but it turned out to be a girl. We were very happy that our girl was healthy and breathing well and had a good color. She pinked up very quickly and was rooting around DW's breast.

K and I helped DW to get out of the pool and ten minutes later the placenta was delivered. DW had a second degree tear but K said it doesn’t need any stitches. So we were happily looking at the baby and were very absorbed in this little miracle of life. I had a video camera going and I spent the last five minutes of the tape recording DW and DD. K cut the cord and looked at the placenta. The placenta looked very good. I was holding DD while K helped DW to get some clothes on. Then I called my mom and told her that we figure out what gender the baby was. My mom wanted to know how we figured out and I told her that we looked and found out. Mom didn’t believe me for a while that we had a baby, but I told her how it happened and when and she was very happy. K weighted the baby and measured her height (length); DD was 7 lb 2 oz and 20 inches long. She didn’t have much in a way of the white stuff on her, so it looked like she was ready to come out.

K left around 7 pm and DW was nursing DD and taking a small nap. I cleaned up the house and DW’s parents got here around 8:30 pm or so.
So this is my side of the birth story. I am glad that I was able to help DW with the birth although I felt as if I didn’t know what I was doing and didn’t feel that I was doing all that much. So after all the reading I realized that no matter what you think about the labor and reading all the stuff in the books, the labor experience still catches you by surprise.
post #8 of 25
10/6/08 at 2:19am
Aww, I love reading from the dad's perspective! What a great birthstory!
post #9 of 25
10/6/08 at 9:07am
Thread Starter 
Thank you! This is so neat hearing various stories.

If you know a man who is a Homebirth advocate, encourage him to post, I think that would really encourage more men to support homebirth, often it's the guys who are hesitant.
post #10 of 25
10/6/08 at 9:27am
the blog here has a bunch. they might be from a while back, though. My husband's story is in there.
post #11 of 25
10/6/08 at 12:39pm
Here is the link, my husband blogged our birth story. He loved the whole thing!

http://www.tsuasai.com/node/1081
Enjoy
post #12 of 25
10/6/08 at 2:21pm
my dh wrote about our uc: blog. scroll down to the vigil.
post #13 of 25
10/9/08 at 1:12am
Quote:
Originally Posted by zoebird View Post
my dh wrote about our uc: blog. scroll down to the vigil.
this one is SUCH a beautiful account of his son's birth.
post #14 of 25
10/10/08 at 1:00pm
thanks. i'll pass that along to him. he'll be pleased.
post #15 of 25
10/10/08 at 4:05pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by zoebird View Post
thanks. i'll pass that along to him. he'll be pleased.
yes, do tell him. i gave the link to my husband the other day and he said it made him cry!!
then he started a blog of his own so he can document our homebirth in writing. i'm so happy about that! thanks again
post #16 of 25
10/10/08 at 6:05pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by zoebird View Post
my dh wrote about our uc: blog. scroll down to the vigil.
OMG i am bawling my eyes out! Your husband writes beautifully!!! Make sure that entry gets printed out and put in his baby book. What a wise soul he his, and your little boy is lucky to have such an amazing daddy

Quote:
These 10 days have been the sweetest of my life. Hawk already has taken me out of myself, down a long, winding road where there is no past, no future, only this demand, this need, this moment. Hawk, I promise you, I am happy. Let's take the road together.
WAHHHHHHH
post #17 of 25
10/10/08 at 8:18pm
My DH doesn't blog but he is very pro homebirth. We've had a 5 kids at home and neither of us would want it any other way. He tells anyone who will listen about how great and amazing HB is. I'll see if I can get him to write out something about our 5 experiences since I've been meaning to have do so.
post #18 of 25
10/11/08 at 11:21am
DH doesn't blog.

But he's the one who suggested homebirth. I was all ready for a hospital scream-and-cry birth and when he first mentioned "Well, why don't we have her at home?" my head about blew off. He started mentioning it more and more often and finally I consented to talking about it seriously.

Then I started researching and it really appealed to me. Good luck!
post #19 of 25
10/12/08 at 12:03am
Here is my husband's myspace link where he has blogged about the whole pregnancy and birth and baby stuff. It's super funny (I'm not just saying that... others agree!)

http://www.myspace.com/dubledex

Enjoy... I hope it helps!
post #20 of 25
10/13/08 at 8:41pm
DH wrote our homebirth story, it's all from his perspective. The link is in my sig below.
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