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I think my 4yo was sexually abused UPDATE - Page 5

post #81 of 163
I'm so sorry for your daughter, but so proud of your whole family. I have a friend who went through something similar with her daughter and they were able to prosecute, even without any physical evidence and he ended up serving time and having to register as an offender, even without it getting all the way to trial (so her daughter never had to testify in court). However you choose to procede, I wish you all peace.
post #82 of 163
Quote:
Originally Posted by aileen View Post
mama, she IS above this. and mama, YOU are above this.
you are saving her.
you are a hero, mama, and my heart is bursting with love that you are championing the cause of your daughter's glorious innocence. you are proving to her that she is truly, wholly, valuable and that she will always be above and is no longer in, that terrible moment.
i tearfully commend you.

and i'm so so sorry that this happened.

You are doing a great job! Validating her experience, making sure the "bad guy" gets punished, etc., all that is very important for her (maybe not so much right now, but for sure when she is older, and really can contemplate the whole thing). Not only that, helping her begin to process the violation of her person now is so much better than waiting for 5 or 25 or 30 years. It really will allow her to heal, to learn to trust again, to form appropriate relationships, to believe in herself again, etc.
post #83 of 163
It tears my heart that this has happened to your child, especially with as much as you tried to protect her.

You really have been amazing and although something terrible has happened to your precious little girl, she will be able to overcome it because it was handled so well by you and your DH. My thoughts are with you and I hope this predator and his enabling wife are caught and brought to justice.
post #84 of 163
It makes me sick his wife caught him and didn't turn him in! I'm crying right now. What kind of a woman could see that and cover it up instead of calling the police?

I'm so glad your daughter told you and he'll be caught.
post #85 of 163
Are you willing to name the family in question? I live near you and would like to know, if they are still in Maryland. A PM if not openly?
post #86 of 163
I think there might be legal ramifications to that and I hope the OP will get advice about that before revealing the name of the family to anybody. Just a thought.
post #87 of 163
Thank you so much for helping to warn society about this man.
post #88 of 163
I am so glad you will be able to proceed with prosecuting this person. I certainly hope that the sex offender title is just the beginning of his consequences and that he sits in jail for quite some time. As for your family - your daughter is SO lucky to have a mama who believed her and acted in the way you have so as to support her fully yet calmy (on the outside at least) dealt with the police and all of that. Again - you are all in my thoughts and prayers as this may be a long road (trial?) and certainly a journey to healing for all of you. Congratulations for being exactly the mother your child needs. Hugs to you all.
post #89 of 163
I'm SO sorry, I hope you and your DD can find peace, and hope that creep gets nailed to a cross.
post #90 of 163
Oh, mama, mama. I just read your update. I've been praying for your family.



Your DD is so lucky to have you.
post #91 of 163
Quote:
Originally Posted by aileen View Post
mama, she IS above this. and mama, YOU are above this.
you are saving her.
you are a hero, mama, and my heart is bursting with love that you are championing the cause of your daughter's glorious innocence. you are proving to her that she is truly, wholly, valuable and that she will always be above and is no longer in, that terrible moment.
i tearfully commend you.

and i'm so so sorry that this happened.
I feel just this way. You ARE your daughter's hero. She is
SO far above this.
I am so angry that such a thing can happen to a little girl. The abuser... I can't comprehend how such perfect evil can exist in a person. I feel so angry that it can.
post #92 of 163
You are strong, your daughter is strong. This makes me so angry though!

How is your DH doing with this?
post #93 of 163
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by aileen View Post
mama, she IS above this. and mama, YOU are above this. you are saving her. you are a hero, mama, and my heart is bursting with love that you are championing the cause of your daughter's glorious innocence. you are proving to her that she is truly, wholly, valuable and that she will always be above and is no longer in, that terrible moment.
i tearfully commend you. and i'm so so sorry that this happened.
Thank you for this, and all the other mommas out there that have said similar things. The reassurance that I am doing the best I can is just so comforting. I know I'm doing the right thing, but it means sooooo much more to hear it from other moms I respect.

I still just can't believe it. I believe HER, I just can't wrap my head around such an atrocious act. I look at my DD's sweet face, and God, she just looks like this little angel, and I imagine her fearful face trapped in that corner and a part of me just dies. How can anyone EVER think that is OK?! She's just a BABY. Parts of me just want to beat the crap out of him, and yet another part of me is praying for him and his family. I know he'll get his comeuppance when he meets his maker. I'm not a very religious person, but am very spiritual... sort of a religious mutt, and I know with every fiber of my being that whatever wonderful entity created this world, our magnificent bodies and minds, and these beautfiul babies cannot let this deed go unpunished.

DH is still in denial. Again, he believes her, just still hasn't really accepted it. When he first started reading this thread before we took any action, he just hung his head in his hands and cried. All he wants to do is have "angry **x", and I just can't get that image out of my head so we're both running on fumes. We've remained loving and holding hands and other forms of touch, but pretty much physical stuff is out. I know with counseling we'll get better.

Now I'm trying to find a place to move to so that we can move as soon as we get back. She's so worried about it still. Every few hours she pipes up with "mommy, I don't ever want to go back to that mean house, I want to live at the beach house forever."

Me too, kid.
post #94 of 163
Words can not express how sorry I am that you guys are going through this. When I was four, I was at our church meeting room at a friends birthday party. The father of the birthday girl touched me inappropriately and made me touch his penis. He told me that if I told my mom and dad, they would be really mad at me because I should have known better. He said I might have to find a new family to live with if I told. This was one of the deacon's of the church and I believed him. I never told anyone until I told my now dh when I was 18. I'm so glad your little girl told you. These kind of stories absolutely make my blood boil and makes me feel sick and bring back so many memories of how I felt when that happened and how scared I was and I really wish I would have told my mom and dad then and maybe something could have been done. Soon after it happened, he left the church and moved away.

Sorry, this isn't a thread to tell my story. I just wanted to tell you that I think you're handling it so well and your daughter is a strong little girl to tell you. I'm sorry she's going through this.

post #95 of 163
I am so sorry that your family is going through this. Wishing your daughter peace.
post #96 of 163


I am so glad that you have gone to the authorities about this, you are so strong, your whole family is strong.

I hope that the authorities get this man and he does get what he deserves.

Your DD sounds like such a brave little girl and you are brave too mama. I cannot read this without just wanting to bawl my eyes out, I just cannot see how someone is such a freaking monster because he surely is not a human.

I hope that your family can find some peace.
post #97 of 163
Your family is so brave. You are so brave. My prayers are with you and your family, that you may all come out of this stronger.
post #98 of 163
i am so sorry for what you are going through. be strong, you will get through this!
post #99 of 163
Quote:
Originally Posted by CrunchyTamara View Post
I`m so, so deeply sorry for your daughter.

You sound like an amazing, loving mama. I am in awe over the way you have handled this. She is truly blessed to have you. Stay strong. I will pray for you all.
Yes, this.

You are both strong - even more so because you are holding each other close. I also will be praying for your family.
post #100 of 163
I am so glad you called the police. You did exactly what you needed to do! You *are* protecting your daughter, by responding and believing and helping her through this, and I am really sorry this happened to your precious baby girl.
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