I had a very traumatic birth, that left me with permanent injuries. It's also affected my relationship with my mom. Her lifelong journey of healing has involved me and shaped some of my worldviews as well.
Has anyone found that your actual birth is affecting your pregnancy and upcoming birth? (Or already delivered baby? lol)
I was the firstborn, my mom went into labor while my dad was away on active duty. She birthed in a military hospital in CA. They overdosed her on two drugs, one she was allergic to and they knew it. She crashed on the table so they performed a full epis and used the vacuum and high forceps on me.
Both my clavicles were broken, my hips dislocated, my skull fractured, my ear ripped off. I was born with I think an apgar of 2 and at some point they pronounced me dead, but the attending rescucitated me. Later told my mom it was only to keep his numbers good. I got all the regular interventions...drops, vaccinations, etc. Due to the trauma or vaccinations, I suffered a grand mal seizure and stroked. I was in NICU for a week, paralyzed, when I finally caught MRSA and stayed in the hospital for months.
My mom meanwhile, was left for dead on the operating table. She actually heard the doctors arguing over whether (the amount of blood needed for her transfusion) was worth more than saving her. The nurse on duty was new and only spoke Tagalog. She didn't know how to re-insert a catheter. My mom didn't get to see me for several days.
My medical records don't exist, and in fact, I didn't exist. My parents had to file in person for a birth cert when I was almost 6 mos old.
My mom tells me that our bonding relationship was never really there, that she was so traumatized it was hard to hold me and that I was a very independent baby who didn't want to be touched or cuddled. We had no breastfeeding relationship either.
Has anyone found that your actual birth is affecting your pregnancy and upcoming birth? (Or already delivered baby? lol)
I was the firstborn, my mom went into labor while my dad was away on active duty. She birthed in a military hospital in CA. They overdosed her on two drugs, one she was allergic to and they knew it. She crashed on the table so they performed a full epis and used the vacuum and high forceps on me.
Both my clavicles were broken, my hips dislocated, my skull fractured, my ear ripped off. I was born with I think an apgar of 2 and at some point they pronounced me dead, but the attending rescucitated me. Later told my mom it was only to keep his numbers good. I got all the regular interventions...drops, vaccinations, etc. Due to the trauma or vaccinations, I suffered a grand mal seizure and stroked. I was in NICU for a week, paralyzed, when I finally caught MRSA and stayed in the hospital for months.
My mom meanwhile, was left for dead on the operating table. She actually heard the doctors arguing over whether (the amount of blood needed for her transfusion) was worth more than saving her. The nurse on duty was new and only spoke Tagalog. She didn't know how to re-insert a catheter. My mom didn't get to see me for several days.
My medical records don't exist, and in fact, I didn't exist. My parents had to file in person for a birth cert when I was almost 6 mos old.
My mom tells me that our bonding relationship was never really there, that she was so traumatized it was hard to hold me and that I was a very independent baby who didn't want to be touched or cuddled. We had no breastfeeding relationship either.
)
: I especially recall the youngest who was born...well, casually. She just popped right out before my dad could get down the hallway. 100% perfect but her little nose was a bit squished. 
