Counseling with DD and X Soapbox Rant by me

[papabear_in_pa]

I decided to get my daughter into counseling. My X refused each and every couselor I found, purely because it was my idea and not hers, so to get involved it had to be HER choice so she could feel life she was being active in our DD's life. Anyway, my DD's attitude and whole outlook has changed for the better just after 4 sessions.

The last session we all went to, and it was not good. The X turned it into a "her vs. me" where she felt she had to point out all the things I do wrong. I say "Yeah" instead of yes, sometimes I don't say please but nicely ask for a drink if someone is already getting one, I wear pajamas pretty much as soon as I get home until I go to work unless there is yard work/gardening/chicken feeding/wood gathering and a slew of other things to do. I am not mainstream, I do NOT believe in vaccinations, circumcisions, letting my babies cry themselves to sleep in an effort to make them "stronger and independant" when in my opinion I believe it builds walls between us. I am trying to get by raising my own animals for food without steroids and growing an organic garden. I have not let my kids have soda since we have been seperated, I don't drink it and believe they shouldn't, I offer them multitudes of healthy alternatives and they accept it and happen to like it. High Fructose Corn Syrup is a staple at her hous enad for them...along with food dyes...GGRRRRRR!!!!

She: would have them vaccinated every time she goes to the doctors, luckily they can no longer get shots without my written approval as per the Seperation Agreement from the divorce paperwork. Refuses organics and wont even talk to me about the kids diets. She gets frustrated when I point out facts and she just has opinions like "I turned out okay!" (my mom says this too...another reason she rarely gets them overnight), so she now just avoids. Has brand new cars, best namebrand clothes, douses herself in carcinogens (I my have spelled that wrong!

I just want to live a simple life and enjoy my kids, for ten years she tried to mold me into her little box of a world where everyone follows her schedule and acts just like perfect little angels, no longer and never. I will teach my kids to question everything, even authority if they believe in what they are doing. They will be given the opportunity to be free thinkers and not boxed in!!! FREEDOM!!!! Yeah, I just watched Braveheart!

I feel better now I got this off my chest! Time to go make some coffee, throw a horseshoe in it, when the horseshoe stands up....coffee is DONE!

[plunky]

Sounds tough. I don't really have anything to offer you, though, except to wonder why you're in therapy with your ex? It sounds like you and your ex are very different people. Did one of you change drastically at some point?

[papabear_in_pa]

The therapy is for my daughter, but sometimes the therapist will ask us some questions before we leave the room. This was the result of one of those times.

[plunky]

Is this common? I've never been in therapy, but after my parents divorced...they couldn't even be civil to each other for a few years. I think I'd be bothered by a therapist that encouraged you and your ex-wife to argue/discuss things in front of your DD. You don't need to examine your relationship with your ex...because your only relationship with her now is because you are both parents of your DD.

Maybe this is common, but I'd look into it and perhaps seek a new therapist or make new ground rules with this one.

[gmankono]

I'm glad the rant helped offer some relief. I'm also glad to hear your DD is getting good results from the counseling.

I wish you the best of luck with the situation. I'm sorry to hear there's such a divide between you and your ex, and I hope you're able to get some of the simple & good time. Even these days, it seems like we're in the minority of guys who think consciously about vaccinations and artificial food products, so kudos.