ETA: Updates are in RED.
This is half vent half plea for advice:
I hate all those articles about so & so tightened their belt and got out of [insert exorbitant amount of debt here] and saved such and such amount of money! I hate them because inevitably it's about how someone stopped buying lattes, and getting new clothes at the mall every week, and etc. etc. (like THIS one).
I hate them because I don't do those things to begin with!!! So how do I tackle MY debt. We have $3,000 in consumer debt because:
A: We were bad with money and disorganized for the first two years of our marriage and
B: We moved to Canada and it was an expensive life change.
We also have $27,891 in student loans. This kills me because I realized (a little too late) that I hated it, wasn't doing it for myself, wasn't getting a profitable degree (wasn't planning on having a career anyhow), etc. If I had figured it out a year or two sooner I could have been working that whole time. I wasn't working while in school because with my ADHD I barely could handle passing all my classes with NO job and only doing the minimum full-time credit hours or part-time.
Anyway...the past is past and it's too late to change our mistakes. The good news is that DH and I have gotten A MILLION times better with our finances/budget/spending/etc.Switching to the "envelope system" was pretty much the best thing we could have ever, ever done. We use Dave Ramsey's budget software (which I really like).
But I'm getting so frustrated because we still aren't making ends meet. We don't waste money on things like lattes (easy, since we don't drink coffee), cable, etc. and we try so hard to be frugal. We have one car (that is completely paid off). We only spend $10 a month on entertainment (date nights). We only get $20 each a month for personal spending (which has been known to get spent on things we need or as gifts for the other person).
Our monthly budget is BARELY in the black right now and it's not going to stay that way come December (DH's student loans come due, mine will be coming due shortly after his). Based on advice given in this thread we talked to our lender today. DH's loan has been given an extra 3 months. This is perfect. Because by that time we will have eliminated a different expense in our budget that can then cover his loan payment. And we found out mine will be eligible for a 12 month forbearance if we need it. Here is what our budget looks like. It's hard to share this (and share what feels like my failure by admitting our money problems). But maybe someone can help me figure out what I can do to make things better. We live in Canada. The food here is so much more expensive than it was in the states. But maybe other Canadian mamas will have some insight on how much we should be spending? Anyway, along with the amounts are explanations of what we're already doing/why things are what they are/etc. so it's not just a bunch of random numbers.
Income p/Month (after taxes): apprx. $2700
Giving/Religious (not negotiable)
Tithing: $340 (This is 10% of our gross income. It is truly not negotiable. There has already been considerable debate in the thread. I'd like to avoid further argument. Thanks!)
Fast offering: $60 (This is being re-evaluated. We are going to pray about lowering it for at least the rest of the year while our other expenses are so high.)
Other: $30 (gas to attend special worship services once p/month)
Savings (Based on advice from MDC mamas we will be lumping together our different savings catergories, especially until we get our 1,000 cushion.)
Emergency fund: $100 (trying to get Dave Ramsey's recommended $1000 but $100 is so slow! I want to gather that much faster...espcially because we then want to save 3 months worth of living expenses)
Retirement fund: $25 (we know this is WAY too low, but it's all we seem to be able to afford)
House fund: $0
(don't want to be renting forever, but home ownership is just going to have to wait until we can take care of these other things)
Unexpected: $20 (kind of like an emergency fund...should probably just lump those two into one category)
Housing
Rent: $750 (more than we wanted to pay, slightly less than we were previously paying...this was the only apartment we could find in the location we felt we needed to be in -we felt a spiritual need to be in this location)
Renter's Insurance: not sure...we get it through the same people we get our car insurance so it's lumped together (our rental contract requires us to have renter's insurance).
Utilities (these will almost all be increasing once the Canadian winter gets here and once our baby arrives and we're doing more laundry (i.e. cloth diapers)
Electric: $26 (We're eco-minded so we do our best to avoid electric use. We have mostly CFL's. We want to go all CFL but haven't been able to afford switching all the incandescent bulbs all at once).
Water: $21 (trying to lower our water use, we do "if it's yellow let it mellow" overnight but not during the day (because the toilet gets NASTY otherwise), and I'm going to try doing navy showers. I used to do them but the water feels so good to my pregnant body and I'll have to use a space heater in the bathroom or I'll freeze while the water is off.
)
Phone/Internet: $32 (We weren't going to get internet at all until I did the math and realized it would only be $7 more p/month to have internet and a VOIP phone (unlimited long distance) instead of just a land line. This allows me to keep in touch with all my friends and family in the states.)
Trash: $16
Gas: $31 (I can't figure out why this is so high right now -we're not running the heat yet. DH is going to insulate our hot water heater...but still, this seems high).
Sewer: $24
Food
Groceries: $300 (We try to buy organic when we can, especially for the dirty dozen, and especially for me because I'm pregnant and will be nursing. It hurts though...especially when conventional apples are currently 88 cents a pound. We've decided to get conventional for DH, which makes me feel guilty. But what else can we do? We don't buy much meat at all (I'm a part-time vegetarian
: We also get free game (Moose, Elk, etc.) from some friends at Church. We don't buy convenience foods. We eat a lot of spaghetti, potatoes, etc. We're cutting out cold cereal in favor of oatmeal/cream of wheat. I'm working on meal planning and cooking more from scatch (DH currently does the cooking. I'm also trying to bake bread more often. 
(We are re-evaluating organics as a possible temporary sacrifice we can make. Does anybody know if organics aren't as important while nursing as they are while pregnant?)
Transportation
Car repairs/tires: $25 (probably not enough...if the car breaks down we'll be in trouble)
Insurance: $141 (this includes renters insurance. Can't believe how expensive Canadian car insurance is. We were paying about $25 a month in the states. Ouch!) (Based on MDC advice we will be calling around for quotes to see if we can find better rates.)
Gas: $130 (Gas costs more here too. DH would be fine taking the bus if he could. But he works for a company that builds homes so he goes someplace different each day.)
Clothing
Whole family: $50 (It would be even less if I didn't need maternity clothes/new bras/etc. right now.) (This is not necessarily how much we actually spend each month. Mostly this gets saved from month to month for when there is something we need, like boots...or work clothes for DH (which he goes through quite quickly due to wear and tear. We buy *very* little new items (just things like underwear, etc. And I do sew a little. I have made some clothes/fixed damaged clothes/etc.)
Medical/Health
Insurance: $88 (The good news is that next year the province is doing away with the monthly insurance costs so this will go down to $0!
Co-Pays/OTC/etc.: $25 (This is lower than we'd like, especially considering I'm going to need new glasses at some point.(May not bother with glasses since I will be nursing and someone has said that will make my vision wonky anyway, and my eyesight is not that bad to begin with.) DH has additional insurance through work. But even with the provincial health care and the work insurance not everything is covered. We (fortunately) do not have any prescriptions at this time.)
Personal
Gifts: $25 (this includes Christmas, birthdays, unpredictable (like weddings), etc. So we have only $300 a year for all holidays and such. This year we don't even have that because we weren't budgeting at the start of the year. I'll be making almost all our gifts to friends and family (baking, that sort of thing). DH and I won't be getting much of anything for each other. He's getting me maternity photos (at a ridiculously good price) as my birthday present. We never got wedding photos and it's been one of my biggest regrets. So this is to make amends for that.)
Toiletries/Hair cuts/Cosmetics: $17 (I don't use much make-up and "magic potions" at all but what I do use I make sure to buy cruelty free (I cannot justify giving $ to companies that abuse animals) and I'm very picky about ingredients (no cancer-causing chemicals in MY soap thank-you-very-much). I get my hair cut VERY rarely. The last time I cut it was almost 2 years ago. I cut DH's hair at home.) (When I say I use very little make-up and stuff I mean I wear make-up probably 2 or 3 times in a month. I don't buy "organic" make-up. I just try to avoid certain ingredients. For other routines I just use soap, lotion, and acne care (i.e. witch hazel astringent). I am now (thanks to replies to this thread) looking into using BS and vinegar for shampoo.)
Allowance: $40 (We each get $20 to spend however we want. This is so that we don't get depressed or feel too constrained by the budget and then bust it. We have also been known to spend our personal money on each other, things we need, etc.)
Baby: $55 (This is the money we use to get items we need for our baby. We get used when we can (esp. clothes). But it's really not enough. We won't have enough money to buy the co-sleeper (Thanks to helpful reviews and replies on MDC it's clear we *don't* need one of these. So we won't be getting one after all.), diapers (cloth), etc. and are going to have to go further in debt I guess. )
Other: $60 (This pretty much covers everything else, toilet paper (I will be using cloth (for wet only) once we start cloth diapering)(going to go ahead and start using cloth (wet only) right away), tools (DH has to provide some of his own for work), fees (we're applying for permanent resident status for me), mail (stamps, etc.), and so on.)
ETA: Home: $25 (This is for anything needed for the home, i.e. needed a cake pan recently. When we moved we made the mistake of leaving a lot behind because we thought we'd save by renting a little trailer instead of a truck. That was stupid.)
Cats: $25 (We have two shelter cats. They are part of our family. And we will not abandon them to someone who may or may not care for them like we do. This money is to pay for their food and litter.)
Recreation
Date nights: $10
Vacation: $0 (We want to travel next summer to visit our families and introduce the baby-especially to my mom who has severe progressive MS and our Grandparents, because we don't know how many opportunities we'll have to ever see them again. So $0 is not good. But we just don't have any more money.)
Debts
Consumer: $147.58 (This is the minimum payment. We wish we could be paying more to pay this off faster.) (This is at about 16% interest. This is from our old US CC which we no longer use.)
Student Loans: $0 (They haven't come due yet. When they do DH's will be $80 something a month. Mine will be over $140 a month.)(See above: forbearance has already been arranged for DH and can be arranged for me if needed.)
Some other considerations
We need to buy a block heater for our car. (We are getting help from someone at Church so we will not have to pay to have it installed.) We're getting a used bed for $250 at the end of the month (used) so that we can co-sleep once baby outgrows the co-sleeper (ignore the co-sleeper, not getting one) (we currently have a full-size which is barely big enough for just the two of us). We're not going to buy a crib at all so we figure that evens out. (We may have access to a crib (for free) that we can sidecar.) Next year we'll spend $1,000 on my immigration stuff. I have no winter boots (at all) so I'll need some (Will be asking around to see if I can snag some free, if not will either get them at the thrift store or Wal-Mart). I may or may not need a new winter coat (mine is quite nice but won't zip over the baby bump. DH's barely fits over the bump for now...but then what does he wear?). (Seems I won't need to be able to close my coat after all. I'll be able to fit in it again come January so in the mean time I'll just dress warm.) I'm going to need nursing bras. DH wants to take classes for his carpentry apprenticeship some time next year (which will lower his income and he'll have to possibly pay partial tuition).
I can not get a job, even temporarily because I do not have a worker's permit. DH already works more than full time (doing hard manual labor to boot!). Though this past week the company has been low on jobs. He's been told to come in late one day. And Friday and today he was told not to come in at all. And they just told him they'd call him at 8 tomorrow morning (and hour later than he's supposed to report to work) to let him know if they need him. Ack! (The weird hours with DH's job should be a one-time fluke. Hopefully it won't happen again. If it does he may use that day off to rake leaves or do odd jobs. I will look into babysitting and holiday baking as a way to earn a little extra income.)
I think that covers everything. There you have it. My financial life story (of which I am ashamed). If I had lattes, movies, cable, and manicures TO give up I would! If I was driving an SUV I'd downsize (but we don't, we drive a little 4 door wagon). If I had some expensive hobby I could give up I would. So what's left? I try to find things I can do (have a copy of the Tightwad Gazette, visit this forum, visit personal finance blogs and frugality blogs, etc.). We're not trying to figure out how we can afford a boat, or a cruise, or anything like that. We just want to stay in the black (and never get in debt again with the exception of a home mortgage some day). (We honestly feel very blessed and we *feel* wealthy most of the time. We're just trying to see what else we can do to make things better for our family.)
If you got all the way through this post this is for you:
:
This is half vent half plea for advice:
I hate all those articles about so & so tightened their belt and got out of [insert exorbitant amount of debt here] and saved such and such amount of money! I hate them because inevitably it's about how someone stopped buying lattes, and getting new clothes at the mall every week, and etc. etc. (like THIS one).
I hate them because I don't do those things to begin with!!! So how do I tackle MY debt. We have $3,000 in consumer debt because:
A: We were bad with money and disorganized for the first two years of our marriage and
B: We moved to Canada and it was an expensive life change.
We also have $27,891 in student loans. This kills me because I realized (a little too late) that I hated it, wasn't doing it for myself, wasn't getting a profitable degree (wasn't planning on having a career anyhow), etc. If I had figured it out a year or two sooner I could have been working that whole time. I wasn't working while in school because with my ADHD I barely could handle passing all my classes with NO job and only doing the minimum full-time credit hours or part-time.
Anyway...the past is past and it's too late to change our mistakes. The good news is that DH and I have gotten A MILLION times better with our finances/budget/spending/etc.Switching to the "envelope system" was pretty much the best thing we could have ever, ever done. We use Dave Ramsey's budget software (which I really like).
But I'm getting so frustrated because we still aren't making ends meet. We don't waste money on things like lattes (easy, since we don't drink coffee), cable, etc. and we try so hard to be frugal. We have one car (that is completely paid off). We only spend $10 a month on entertainment (date nights). We only get $20 each a month for personal spending (which has been known to get spent on things we need or as gifts for the other person).
Our monthly budget is BARELY in the black right now and it's not going to stay that way come December (DH's student loans come due, mine will be coming due shortly after his). Based on advice given in this thread we talked to our lender today. DH's loan has been given an extra 3 months. This is perfect. Because by that time we will have eliminated a different expense in our budget that can then cover his loan payment. And we found out mine will be eligible for a 12 month forbearance if we need it. Here is what our budget looks like. It's hard to share this (and share what feels like my failure by admitting our money problems). But maybe someone can help me figure out what I can do to make things better. We live in Canada. The food here is so much more expensive than it was in the states. But maybe other Canadian mamas will have some insight on how much we should be spending? Anyway, along with the amounts are explanations of what we're already doing/why things are what they are/etc. so it's not just a bunch of random numbers.
Income p/Month (after taxes): apprx. $2700
Giving/Religious (not negotiable)
Tithing: $340 (This is 10% of our gross income. It is truly not negotiable. There has already been considerable debate in the thread. I'd like to avoid further argument. Thanks!)
Fast offering: $60 (This is being re-evaluated. We are going to pray about lowering it for at least the rest of the year while our other expenses are so high.)
Other: $30 (gas to attend special worship services once p/month)
Savings (Based on advice from MDC mamas we will be lumping together our different savings catergories, especially until we get our 1,000 cushion.)
Emergency fund: $100 (trying to get Dave Ramsey's recommended $1000 but $100 is so slow! I want to gather that much faster...espcially because we then want to save 3 months worth of living expenses)
Retirement fund: $25 (we know this is WAY too low, but it's all we seem to be able to afford)
House fund: $0
(don't want to be renting forever, but home ownership is just going to have to wait until we can take care of these other things)Unexpected: $20 (kind of like an emergency fund...should probably just lump those two into one category)
Housing
Rent: $750 (more than we wanted to pay, slightly less than we were previously paying...this was the only apartment we could find in the location we felt we needed to be in -we felt a spiritual need to be in this location)
Renter's Insurance: not sure...we get it through the same people we get our car insurance so it's lumped together (our rental contract requires us to have renter's insurance).
Utilities (these will almost all be increasing once the Canadian winter gets here and once our baby arrives and we're doing more laundry (i.e. cloth diapers)
Electric: $26 (We're eco-minded so we do our best to avoid electric use. We have mostly CFL's. We want to go all CFL but haven't been able to afford switching all the incandescent bulbs all at once).
Water: $21 (trying to lower our water use, we do "if it's yellow let it mellow" overnight but not during the day (because the toilet gets NASTY otherwise), and I'm going to try doing navy showers. I used to do them but the water feels so good to my pregnant body and I'll have to use a space heater in the bathroom or I'll freeze while the water is off.
)Phone/Internet: $32 (We weren't going to get internet at all until I did the math and realized it would only be $7 more p/month to have internet and a VOIP phone (unlimited long distance) instead of just a land line. This allows me to keep in touch with all my friends and family in the states.)
Trash: $16
Gas: $31 (I can't figure out why this is so high right now -we're not running the heat yet. DH is going to insulate our hot water heater...but still, this seems high).
Sewer: $24
Food
Groceries: $300 (We try to buy organic when we can, especially for the dirty dozen, and especially for me because I'm pregnant and will be nursing. It hurts though...especially when conventional apples are currently 88 cents a pound. We've decided to get conventional for DH, which makes me feel guilty. But what else can we do? We don't buy much meat at all (I'm a part-time vegetarian
: We also get free game (Moose, Elk, etc.) from some friends at Church. We don't buy convenience foods. We eat a lot of spaghetti, potatoes, etc. We're cutting out cold cereal in favor of oatmeal/cream of wheat. I'm working on meal planning and cooking more from scatch (DH currently does the cooking. I'm also trying to bake bread more often. (We are re-evaluating organics as a possible temporary sacrifice we can make. Does anybody know if organics aren't as important while nursing as they are while pregnant?)Transportation
Car repairs/tires: $25 (probably not enough...if the car breaks down we'll be in trouble)
Insurance: $141 (this includes renters insurance. Can't believe how expensive Canadian car insurance is. We were paying about $25 a month in the states. Ouch!) (Based on MDC advice we will be calling around for quotes to see if we can find better rates.)
Gas: $130 (Gas costs more here too. DH would be fine taking the bus if he could. But he works for a company that builds homes so he goes someplace different each day.)
Clothing
Whole family: $50 (It would be even less if I didn't need maternity clothes/new bras/etc. right now.) (This is not necessarily how much we actually spend each month. Mostly this gets saved from month to month for when there is something we need, like boots...or work clothes for DH (which he goes through quite quickly due to wear and tear. We buy *very* little new items (just things like underwear, etc. And I do sew a little. I have made some clothes/fixed damaged clothes/etc.)
Medical/Health
Insurance: $88 (The good news is that next year the province is doing away with the monthly insurance costs so this will go down to $0!
Co-Pays/OTC/etc.: $25 (This is lower than we'd like, especially considering I'm going to need new glasses at some point.(May not bother with glasses since I will be nursing and someone has said that will make my vision wonky anyway, and my eyesight is not that bad to begin with.) DH has additional insurance through work. But even with the provincial health care and the work insurance not everything is covered. We (fortunately) do not have any prescriptions at this time.)
Personal
Gifts: $25 (this includes Christmas, birthdays, unpredictable (like weddings), etc. So we have only $300 a year for all holidays and such. This year we don't even have that because we weren't budgeting at the start of the year. I'll be making almost all our gifts to friends and family (baking, that sort of thing). DH and I won't be getting much of anything for each other. He's getting me maternity photos (at a ridiculously good price) as my birthday present. We never got wedding photos and it's been one of my biggest regrets. So this is to make amends for that.)
Toiletries/Hair cuts/Cosmetics: $17 (I don't use much make-up and "magic potions" at all but what I do use I make sure to buy cruelty free (I cannot justify giving $ to companies that abuse animals) and I'm very picky about ingredients (no cancer-causing chemicals in MY soap thank-you-very-much). I get my hair cut VERY rarely. The last time I cut it was almost 2 years ago. I cut DH's hair at home.) (When I say I use very little make-up and stuff I mean I wear make-up probably 2 or 3 times in a month. I don't buy "organic" make-up. I just try to avoid certain ingredients. For other routines I just use soap, lotion, and acne care (i.e. witch hazel astringent). I am now (thanks to replies to this thread) looking into using BS and vinegar for shampoo.)
Allowance: $40 (We each get $20 to spend however we want. This is so that we don't get depressed or feel too constrained by the budget and then bust it. We have also been known to spend our personal money on each other, things we need, etc.)
Baby: $55 (This is the money we use to get items we need for our baby. We get used when we can (esp. clothes). But it's really not enough. We won't have enough money to buy the co-sleeper (Thanks to helpful reviews and replies on MDC it's clear we *don't* need one of these. So we won't be getting one after all.), diapers (cloth), etc. and are going to have to go further in debt I guess.
)Other: $60 (This pretty much covers everything else, toilet paper (I will be using cloth (for wet only) once we start cloth diapering)(going to go ahead and start using cloth (wet only) right away), tools (DH has to provide some of his own for work), fees (we're applying for permanent resident status for me), mail (stamps, etc.), and so on.)
ETA: Home: $25 (This is for anything needed for the home, i.e. needed a cake pan recently. When we moved we made the mistake of leaving a lot behind because we thought we'd save by renting a little trailer instead of a truck. That was stupid.)
Cats: $25 (We have two shelter cats. They are part of our family. And we will not abandon them to someone who may or may not care for them like we do. This money is to pay for their food and litter.)
Recreation
Date nights: $10
Vacation: $0 (We want to travel next summer to visit our families and introduce the baby-especially to my mom who has severe progressive MS and our Grandparents, because we don't know how many opportunities we'll have to ever see them again. So $0 is not good. But we just don't have any more money.)
Debts
Consumer: $147.58 (This is the minimum payment. We wish we could be paying more to pay this off faster.) (This is at about 16% interest. This is from our old US CC which we no longer use.)
Student Loans: $0 (They haven't come due yet. When they do DH's will be $80 something a month. Mine will be over $140 a month.)(See above: forbearance has already been arranged for DH and can be arranged for me if needed.)
Some other considerations
We need to buy a block heater for our car. (We are getting help from someone at Church so we will not have to pay to have it installed.) We're getting a used bed for $250 at the end of the month (used) so that we can co-sleep once baby outgrows the co-sleeper (ignore the co-sleeper, not getting one) (we currently have a full-size which is barely big enough for just the two of us). We're not going to buy a crib at all so we figure that evens out. (We may have access to a crib (for free) that we can sidecar.) Next year we'll spend $1,000 on my immigration stuff. I have no winter boots (at all) so I'll need some (Will be asking around to see if I can snag some free, if not will either get them at the thrift store or Wal-Mart). I may or may not need a new winter coat (mine is quite nice but won't zip over the baby bump. DH's barely fits over the bump for now...but then what does he wear?). (Seems I won't need to be able to close my coat after all. I'll be able to fit in it again come January so in the mean time I'll just dress warm.) I'm going to need nursing bras. DH wants to take classes for his carpentry apprenticeship some time next year (which will lower his income and he'll have to possibly pay partial tuition).
I can not get a job, even temporarily because I do not have a worker's permit. DH already works more than full time (doing hard manual labor to boot!). Though this past week the company has been low on jobs. He's been told to come in late one day. And Friday and today he was told not to come in at all. And they just told him they'd call him at 8 tomorrow morning (and hour later than he's supposed to report to work) to let him know if they need him. Ack! (The weird hours with DH's job should be a one-time fluke. Hopefully it won't happen again. If it does he may use that day off to rake leaves or do odd jobs. I will look into babysitting and holiday baking as a way to earn a little extra income.)
I think that covers everything. There you have it. My financial life story (of which I am ashamed). If I had lattes, movies, cable, and manicures TO give up I would! If I was driving an SUV I'd downsize (but we don't, we drive a little 4 door wagon). If I had some expensive hobby I could give up I would. So what's left? I try to find things I can do (have a copy of the Tightwad Gazette, visit this forum, visit personal finance blogs and frugality blogs, etc.). We're not trying to figure out how we can afford a boat, or a cruise, or anything like that. We just want to stay in the black (and never get in debt again with the exception of a home mortgage some day). (We honestly feel very blessed and we *feel* wealthy most of the time. We're just trying to see what else we can do to make things better for our family.)
If you got all the way through this post this is for you:
:
Of course! I was line drying. Then one day I used the dryer just to make sure I actually got the job done (was having a lazy day). And somehow I didn't go back to line drying! I'll start doing that again right away. In fact I'm going to unplug the dryer. That way I have to choose between just hanging items to dry or going through the hassle of moving the dryer and plugging it back in.
