Frustration (very long) WWYD? Updates in #1 in red - Page 5

[hollyvangogh]

Originally Posted by CarrieMF

Rent - I honeslty can't believe you found something for that cheap.lol I live about 4hours from you. Rent here is around $1000-$1200. are you in an apartment or house? If it's a house, is there a garden you can plant next year?

It's a town house. We planted a garden this year but our entire yard is completely shaded by a big tree and the only plant that did well was the romaine. Next season we're going to do veggies in containers out front where they'll get plenty of sun and stick to lettuces and herbs in the back.

Originally Posted by CarrieMF

Electric - call & get on the equal payment plan. Then you won't have to have skyrocketing payments once winter comes.

What's the equal payment plan?

Originally Posted by CarrieMF

Food - what store are you shopping at?

Mostly Real Canadian Superstore. We're getting a super Walmart next month though. As much as I hate WM that's something we just can't worry about at this stage of our lives. I'm expecting once it opens that'll help lower our groceries.

Originally Posted by CarrieMF

Glasses - no point in doing that until you are done nursing as your eyes change with hormones.

Really? I knew pregnancy messed things up. I had no idea nursing did too.

Originally Posted by CarrieMF

What is the $25/month co-pays thing?

It's just to cover any OTC medicines we might need (like Tums and almonds for my heartburn), or anything not otherwise covered by insurance.

Originally Posted by CarrieMF

When are you due?

Christmas Eve.

Originally Posted by CarrieMF

If DH filed a tax return for 2007 you should be receiving the Alberta Employment Tax Credit in July & January. If not it'll come next year, it is income based.

What is the Employment Tax Credit?

[AlmightyIsis]

:

Originally Posted by mamajama

I suggest speaking to your church leader about this in order to get out of tithing for a while while you get ahead a little. It's just such a huge chunk of your money!

:
This is exactly what I was thinking. Have you spoken with anyone at your church for their advice?

[CarrieMF]

What's the equal payment plan?

The take the useage of the prior year & come up with an average amount each month to pay. The high winter costs are then divided among the lower summer months so you are not stuck with super high winter costs. Once a year they'll do an adjustment, if you paid too much they'll lower your monthly payment. If you haven't paid enough they'll divide the extra by 12 & add it to your monthly payment.

Mostly Real Canadian Superstore. We're getting a super Walmart next month though. As much as I hate WM that's something we just can't worry about at this stage of our lives. I'm expecting once it opens that'll help lower our groceries.

It probably won't. We have Superstore & Walmart(which just turned to a Super walmart, though they don't have the fresh produce yet). The prices are pretty much the same as at Superstore. do you get the SS flier? If not go online to thier website & check it out. This week if you spend $200 or $175 with the coupon you receive a $25 gc. Last week it was if you spend $250, you get $30 off.

Really? I knew pregnancy messed things up. I had no idea nursing did too.

It doesn't as much as nursing but you still have hormone fluctuations. Unless your eyes are really bad I'd hold off.

Now if you go with the Cooperators for insurance they have a deal with an eye place(can't think of the name off hand). Thier exams for adults are cheaper(I think dh's are around $40, instead of the $80 I pay at my optomotrist). Glasses are cheaper there too than at an optomotrist. You could see if they can just change out the lenses on your glasses instead of the frames, though with my eyes it's the lenses that are expensive.lol

If you're due Christmas Eve I wouldn't worry about a winter jacket too much. Medicine Hat is typically alot warmer than where we are. Last year at Christmas we were in Calgary & didn't need jackets, it was right around freezing. Whereas here it was -30(-22F). MH temps were more like Calgary. When I was pg with my girls over the winter I never buttoned my jackets, pg made me HOT. -30 felt great.lol

What is the Employment Tax Credit?

I'm not exactly sure.lol All I really know is that it has something to do with having kids & the Alberta gov't send it to us twice a year.lol I know it is income based. Last year we got $30 once & this year we got $120some & according to the statement will again in Jan.

It's a town house. We planted a garden this year but our entire yard is completely shaded by a big tree and the only plant that did well was the romaine. Next season we're going to do veggies in containers out front where they'll get plenty of sun and stick to lettuces and herbs in the back.

check into community gardens. In Edmonton my sister pays $50 but if she cleans everything up then she gets a $25 deposit back. Here in Lloyd it's $10 for the year.

1 more thing, have Dh apply at UFA for a (vehicle) Gas Card. You will get a monthly bill instead of paying each time you fill up, BUT you get approx $0.07/litre off the price of regular pumps. IE, here gas is 1.15, we'd pay 1.08. It makes a huge difference. It only takes 1-2 months to get used to doing it. At first I'd figure out how much gas would be(based on half filling or fully filling the vehicle) and put that into another account so we had the money when the bill came.

[hollyvangogh]

Originally Posted by CarrieMF

1 more thing, have Dh apply at UFA for a (vehicle) Gas Card. You will get a monthly bill instead of paying each time you fill up, BUT you get approx $0.07/litre off the price of regular pumps. IE, here gas is 1.15, we'd pay 1.08. It makes a huge difference. It only takes 1-2 months to get used to doing it. At first I'd figure out how much gas would be(based on half filling or fully filling the vehicle) and put that into another account so we had the money when the bill came.

What's UFA?

[sbrinton]

I understand how important tithing can be. For our family, this is also a non-negotiable. But, there is no set amount or percentage of our income. We are Christians and our conviction about what the Bible teaches is that giving should be cheerful and sacrificial, not a set amount. God cares more about your heart than the amount you give. Likewise, giving can be of our time, talent or treasure.

Being a part of a church, I'm guessing there are lots of other families who may be able to help you through this time. I would approach your pastor or the leaders and explain your situation. There may be families with older kids or other women in the church who would happily give you everything you need.

Our church "adopts" families in situations of financial hardship for the holidays. Usually groups of 20 or more people pool resources together to support each family, so the assistance can be substantial. Several years ago, we were helped a family to buy a new washer and dryer, have Christmas gifts for the kids, new clothes for the kids, mom and dad, even tickets to the Nutcracker and gift cards to go on dates.

As far as baby things, you can probably borrow much of what you need. We borrowed a co-sleeper and we've currently leant out all our newborn and small size cloth diapers to other families who need them.

[Brisen]

For diapers -- ask around. Most of my diapers were hand-me-downs from people who had started out using cloth and then switched. I've also made flats from torn sheets. If you find something in jersey, you don't even have to hem it. If you get a bunch of receiving blankets, you can use them as flats & cut them up for wipes as well.

Originally Posted by hollyvangogh

We also turned down the hot water heater. So I'm not sure if we're missing something. Hopefully once we get that insulation on it'll help.

I wonder if you're on the equalization plan for your gas? We recently moved and dh specifically requested that we not be on the equalization plan, but we are anyway, apparently. You can call your gas company to find out.

[sbrinton]

Another idea is to look at your budget - even the areas where you feel like you are being frugal - and see if you can come up with a way to save even 5-10% on everything you buy.

For example, we joined a co-op grocery store where we can save 10% once a month. And then this co-op joined another group that gives us a 5% rebate on all our purchases. Plus we have a credit card that gives us 5% cash back on grocery purchases. So that is 20% off groceries.

Another idea would be to find a family with older children through your church who could use some help around the house in exchange for their gently used maternity and baby things this fall? You have some time before the baby is here, and most moms I know would be very happy to give away things they no longer need in exchange for help around the house, meals, cleaning, childcare, etc.

And on a side note, your husband works very reasonable hours. Through much of my marriage, my husband has worked 12+ hours a day. It was hard, but it didn't kill him either! It might be reasonable to look for a little extra work on the side?

[hollyvangogh]

Originally Posted by sbrinton

Plus we have a credit card that gives us 5% cash back on grocery purchases. So that is 20% off groceries.

We have found that using a CC causes more trouble than the 5% cash back is worth. While this may not be true for everyone. It is definitely true for us. So we've made a commitment to use cash only for purchases, and use automatic withdrawals and checks for things like rent.

Originally Posted by sbrinton

And on a side note, your husband works very reasonable hours. Through much of my marriage, my husband has worked 12+ hours a day. It was hard, but it didn't kill him either! It might be reasonable to look for a little extra work on the side?

I guess reasonable hours are in the eye of the beholder. I think DH walks a narrow line between reasonable and unreasonable, especially considering how physically demanding his job is. I've seen his body go through quite a change since starting this job. I'm not worried about his health at this point. But he could easily overdue it if given the chance. And we both think it's important that he's around for as much family time as we can afford. He often worries that he won't have the relationship he wants with our daughter because he'll be home so little. Extra odd jobs are certainly not out of the question. But we'll be trying to do as many other things as we can first. We are of the philosophy that is is better to "earn by saving" when at all possible than it is to spend one's life at work away from family. Does that make sense?

Of course, I've always wondered if the normal 40 hour work week is a bit longer than is best. That's not the point of course. I just think it is an interesting subject.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Working_time has a neat chart comparing different countries' average work weeks.

[Jessie D]

Originally Posted by hollyvangogh

I'm not sure (even as young and healthy as he is) his body could withstand much more than that. Nor am I sure it would be healthy for our marriage to have him gone even more than he already is.

Again, not meant in a hurtful way, but he CAN withstand more than that, and marriages survive much worse. Picking up a job on Saturdays for 4 hours could bring in $80 a week if he charges $20 a hour for handyman services. I know I have a hard time finding someone to do piddly jobs around here when DH is gone. Most contractors don't want to waste their time with little jobs. I need a patio roof, but I can't find anyone who will take on the job because it's only about 400sq ft. I don't know what handymen get up there, so it might be considerably more. I know a friend just paid a plumber $200 to instal 7 ft of gas line for her new stove. She said it took him less than 2 hrs to get the job done.

And (in my best CLark Gable voice) "Frankly my dear.... " if my marriage can survive 4 months in Kuwait, 3 months in Quatar, and 30 days in Spain (plus countless weeks stateside but not at home) in the past 4 years, I think you'll survive 4 more hours a week without him if it means you can pay those student loans and not default on them. KWIM?

Again, try looking at the big picture. I'm assuming from references you've made that you're young, and newlywed, so being away from your husband is a big deal right now. But trust me as someone who has been there and done that, it will be better in the long run if he spends the next three months picking up extra work on weekends, before you have the baby, than trying to play catch up later. You will much prefer him to be home on weekends when your baby has a cold and can't breathe, and has been crying nonstop all day. If I understood you correctly, you will not be able to pay your student loans on your current budget, and there is a possiblity that your husband will be taking a pay cut in the future? Wouldn't it feel wonderful to walk into those situations with other debts paid down, and your emergency fund established before then?

[Dar]

You mentioned needing glasses at some point, and I wanted to mention Zenni Optical. There have been a few threads here about them, but basically the deal is that you can get a pretty nice pair of prescription eyeglasses for $8 plus $4.95 shipping (the same no matter how many pairs you order). I love my Zenni glasses.

Dar

[CarrieMF]

What's UFA?

United Farmers of Alberta, but you don't need to be a Farmer to join them.

http://www.ufa.net/petroleum/getACardlockCard.html

The one in Medicine Hat is located at 1433- 30 St. SW

[hollyvangogh]

Originally Posted by Jessie D

...marriages survive much worse.

Some do, and some don't.

Originally Posted by Jessie D

"Frankly my dear.... " if my marriage can survive 4 months in Kuwait, 3 months in Quatar, and 30 days in Spain (plus countless weeks stateside but not at home) in the past 4 years, I think you'll survive 4 more hours a week without him if it means you can pay those student loans and not default on them. KWIM?

And some marriages manage to survive even longer separations. That doesn't mean there's absolutely no risk to a spouse being gone at work all the time. Nor does it mean that it's no big deal and one should just go ahead and take the extra hours.

Originally Posted by Jessie D

I'm assuming from references you've made that you're young, and newlywed, so being away from your husband is a big deal right now.

Depends on your definition of newlywed. We're celebrating our 3rd anniversary soon (some people say that's still newlywed, others don't).

And maybe some will think me naive for saying so, but I think being away from my husband will always be a big deal, as would a daddy being away from his children. Successful marriages and family take time to maintain. DH coming home, showering, having dinner, taking care of anything that needs to be taken care of, and then having maybe 2 hours or so before bed does not leave a lot of time for family bonding.

Originally Posted by Jessie D

But trust me as someone who has been there and done that, it will be better in the long run if he spends the next three months picking up extra work on weekends, before you have the baby, than trying to play catch up later. You will much prefer him to be home on weekends when your baby has a cold and can't breathe, and has been crying nonstop all day.

Originally Posted by hollyvangogh

Extra odd jobs are certainly not out of the question. But we'll be trying to do as many other things as we can first. We are of the philosophy that is is better to "earn by saving" when at all possible than it is to spend one's life at work away from family. Does that make sense?

(emphasis added in blue)

So, like I said, Temporarily doing odd jobs *is* something we're considering/looking into. Even if that is what was meant not everyone has made it clear that they only mean for it to be like that for a few months.

Originally Posted by Jessie D

If I understood you correctly, you will not be able to pay your student loans on your current budget, and there is a possiblity that your husband will be taking a pay cut in the future?

We do not expect a pay cut in the future (though of course anything can happen and we'd like to be prepared). Like I said, this last week with less hours has been out of the ordinary. There have been some issues with not being able to go in to work and do his job until the people responsible for a different step have finished their work (the company builds houses, but sub-contracts out certain steps of the process).

As for the student loans we aren't able to pay them on our budget now. Come next year our budget will change considerably (for example we will no longer have to pay health insurance, which will more than cover DH's student loan payments). Thankfully someone in this thread pointed out that we can get a 3 month forbearance (exactly what we need) until then. We won't be completely fancy free (there's still the issue of trying to figure out how we can visit my mom and our grandparents before it's too late). But defaulting on our debts is not going to be a concern.

[hollyvangogh]

Originally Posted by Dar

You mentioned needing glasses at some point, and I wanted to mention Zenni Optical. There have been a few threads here about them, but basically the deal is that you can get a pretty nice pair of prescription eyeglasses for $8 plus $4.95 shipping (the same no matter how many pairs you order). I love my Zenni glasses.

Dar

Thanks for the tip. When I do decide to get them (after I'm done nursing, if I'm not pregnant again I suppose) that sounds like a great idea!

[hollyvangogh]

Originally Posted by CarrieMF

United Farmers of Alberta, but you don't need to be a Farmer to join them.

http://www.ufa.net/petroleum/getACardlockCard.html

The one in Medicine Hat is located at 1433- 30 St. SW

It says you have to fill out a consumer credit application. So is this a credit card? I'm confused as to exactly how this works. Is it good at any gas station? The website doesn't seem to want to surrender it's secrets to me so I'm having trouble figuring it out.

[grniys]

Originally Posted by Jessie D

Again, not meant in a hurtful way, but he CAN withstand more than that, and marriages survive much worse. Picking up a job on Saturdays for 4 hours could bring in $80 a week if he charges $20 a hour for handyman services. I know I have a hard time finding someone to do piddly jobs around here when DH is gone. Most contractors don't want to waste their time with little jobs. I need a patio roof, but I can't find anyone who will take on the job because it's only about 400sq ft. I don't know what handymen get up there, so it might be considerably more. I know a friend just paid a plumber $200 to instal 7 ft of gas line for her new stove. She said it took him less than 2 hrs to get the job done.

And (in my best CLark Gable voice) "Frankly my dear.... " if my marriage can survive 4 months in Kuwait, 3 months in Quatar, and 30 days in Spain (plus countless weeks stateside but not at home) in the past 4 years, I think you'll survive 4 more hours a week without him if it means you can pay those student loans and not default on them. KWIM?

Again, try looking at the big picture. I'm assuming from references you've made that you're young, and newlywed, so being away from your husband is a big deal right now. But trust me as someone who has been there and done that, it will be better in the long run if he spends the next three months picking up extra work on weekends, before you have the baby, than trying to play catch up later. You will much prefer him to be home on weekends when your baby has a cold and can't breathe, and has been crying nonstop all day. If I understood you correctly, you will not be able to pay your student loans on your current budget, and there is a possiblity that your husband will be taking a pay cut in the future? Wouldn't it feel wonderful to walk into those situations with other debts paid down, and your emergency fund established before then?

I was going to add my own opinions, but my post wasn't coming out nearly as politely as Jessie's. So I'm just adding a "yeah, that".

I think you should probably make a list of your priorities and compare it to what you're willing to do with your budget. Honestly, you seem pretty stubborn with what you're willing to do. I don't know what more advice you could be given.

[JTA Mom]

I can't believe I forgot to tell you about this site!

http://www.sleepingbaby.net/jan/Baby/

She has a ton of free patterns for slings, pouches, baby sleep sacks, nursing bras, etc. I'm not an advanced sewer, but I've been able to follow her instructions pretty easily, so you shouldn't have much trouble. Hope this helps!

Ami

[WC_hapamama]

Originally Posted by sbrinton

I understand how important tithing can be. For our family, this is also a non-negotiable. But, there is no set amount or percentage of our income. We are Christians and our conviction about what the Bible teaches is that giving should be cheerful and sacrificial, not a set amount. God cares more about your heart than the amount you give. Likewise, giving can be of our time, talent or treasure.

I agree. In some cases, donating a talent or time is more valuable to a church or a charity than just giving money does.

It can't hurt to ask. Explain to your church elders (or whatever they're called) that money is tight and ask if you can offset some of the cash amount of the tithes by providing a service... even if it's just something like shoveling snow off the sidewalks, washing kitchen linens or stuffing envelopes.

[texmati]

I'm just now catching up on this thread. I just want to offer up some s to the op...

It takes some grit to stand up to the ribbing that you've gotten here.

[hollyvangogh]

Originally Posted by grniys

I think you should probably make a list of your priorities and compare it to what you're willing to do with your budget.

I think it's interesting that you're telling me to figure out my priorities, but then telling me I'm stubborn for trying to find other ways to save before compromising those priorities.

Originally Posted by grniys

Honestly, you seem pretty stubborn with what you're willing to do. I don't know what more advice you could be given.

I think it's pretty clear by reading the thread what more advice could be (and has been) given:

line dry clothes
tax benefits/credits
temp. loan forbearance
networking/asking around for free stuff and borrowing items
call around for insurance quotes
"expired" baked goods
not needing a co-sleeper
starting family cloth now instead of waiting until baby arrives
baking soda for shampoo
ask at DH's work to make sure he's not having too much deducted in taxes
convert regular bras into nursing bras
just wear warm layers until the bump is gone
see if I can do some babysitting or holiday baking for extra cash
sew some prefolds out of old clothes
see if there is an equal payment plan for utilities
look into a UFA gas card
etc. etc.

Originally Posted by woodchick

And it also isn't uncommon for folks to post here saying that they need help with their budget, while also having some non negotiables. Say, private school tuition or whatever.

I think that the OP has gotten alot of good suggestions. She says that she and her DH have gotten more responsible over the years with their money and it seems as if they are on the right track.
*snip*
Let's try to give her some respect.

[hollyvangogh]

Originally Posted by aquarian

I'm just now catching up on this thread. I just want to offer up some s to the op...

It takes some grit to stand up to the ribbing that you've gotten here.

Thank you. It helps that I have also gotten a lot of support and a lot of good suggestions. If I have to dig through criticism to get all the excellent encouragement and advice I've been given I'd say it's worth it.