ticked off!

[colleengun]

i have been feeling the burden of pinching pennies for years and now i feel like i'm squeezing water from rocks. My husband is about to change jobs next week and while he will be gaining about 30 hours a week back, we will be loosing some income but most importantly benefits. I know we will be able to get coverage by scrimping and scraping but it won't be very good coverage. so everything else will have to be cut back. As i sit here and try to find that extra $200 i am getting angrier by the second. Why is it that when I look at the budget and all the ways we will cut back, it all falls on me? If we stop buying the disposable diapers for good and only do cloth(we're at about 98%)thats more laundry for me. If we cut out the eating out fund(usually once a week, under $20) it means I have to cook everyday of the week, and i relish that one day a week of no dinner to think about. And as far as groceries go, i can cut back there by cooking from scratch. WHich means even more time soaking the beans and baking the bread and...the list goes on. I guess i just feel like it seems to all fall on me to make things stretch and that ticks me off! Is this just how it is? And as for having dh(who is lovely husband and father) cook or do laundry, we'd all be naked and starving in a week, so thats pretty much not an option. he tries. So does anyone have any ideas on cutting back that won't make me feel even more overworked and drained? And as far as budgeting goes, is there an easy program that you use to keep things organized?

[mamamelia]

first of all

second, try to think of it from this point of view.. you are not the only one that this is falling on. your dh is also working very hard to ensure that while you need to soak the beans and bake your own bread, you still have food to eat. it's hard physically and mentally in being frugal with everything 100% of the time, i'd never disagree there. hell, i trialed it for two weeks last month and i felt myself going slightly mad. but those first couple of weeks were hard and now it's becoming a part of me.. and now that i'm working towards a goal, i'm actually becoming excited about being frugal - i'm turning it into a challenge.

as for having a night off cooking, make a double batch of your favourite recipe and freeze one batch. come friday night when you can't be bothered, take that container out to de-frost and re-heat ready in time for dinner. make a pot full of popcorn and watch a movie (that you've borrowed from the library or hired very cheaply from your video store). there's a nice night in, still done very inexpensively.

do you have a goal in mind in being frugal? is it simply necessary for survival or are you paying off debt etc? i find it much easier to deal with the feeling of deprivation when there is a goal in mind.. it doesn't seem so bad then.

[colleengun]

great idea about the freezing dinner! truly never thought of that!?! And the movie thing we've got covered, dh's new job is as a librarian! all the free movie(and no late fees). i tend to forget what its like making the money, it's been a while since i was on that side of it so thanks. As for why we're saving, its mainly just for survival. Not much debt only school loans. so its just a matter of living on one income and not accruing any debt in the process.

[StormySar]

Well, we spend very little money on eating out, convienience things, etc. and always have. I have found it easier to do by:

- Crockpot meals. No cooking for you, just a few minutes in the morning and dinner is taken care of.
- When you cook from scratch, have a day to make mixes, soups, stocks, and other ingredients in bulk. Then store them so when you cook you don't need to make all of these things.
- Have simple dinner nights - taco's, mac and cheese, chicken nuggets, not every night is a complete meal that I make that evening.
- Multiple your recipes, or have a day to just cook for your freezer. That way when you're having a blah day, you don't have to really cook.
- make a bunch of bread dough at once. Freeze in individual loaves after the first rise. let the dough thaw and rise in an unheated oven all night and bake in the morning.

If you're using cloth 98% of the time, the extra 2% will not produce enough diapers for you to notice yourself doing 'more' laundry.

Cooking from scratch is often healthier, so you can look at it like a sort of 'insurance policy' for later in life, if you feed your family well now.

Instead of looking at it as these changes taking up more of your time and being a burden on you, try to think of it as just another way you can help spread your husbands paycheck. Work as a team with him. I understand not every family has these views, but I feel that (at leaset for our lifestyle) scrimping pennies and doing things to save money myself are part of "my role" in the household. I happily take on any new challenge to save money to see how much we can spend and learn new skills allowing me to do something myself rather than pay for it or pay someone else to do it. I enjoy Helping our spending be wise and not spending money on anything unnecessary. Also, by cooking from scratch my kids are shown how to actually cook and learn a lot in thekitchen with me. They are growing up realising that cooking from scratch is not hard, it's not a burden, and it makes sense rather than buying things from the store. its just a part of life!

Good luck!

[CameronsMama]

I know what you mean, op. I usually enjoy the things I do to save money- I've always been frugal, and finding more ways to save is like a game to me. But sometimes it's hard, I sometimes feel like everything is on my shoulders, too, and once in a while it's a bit of a crushing feeling. Can you maybe compromise somewhere? Like, I love pp's suggestions of freezing some meals ahead of time, but maybe you don't have to give up eating out altogether, like eat out once every other week, or once a month instead of weekly. Then you can still have the occasional night with no food prep/cleanup. When we eat out, we only go places that we have coupons for, so it costs even less. I try to plan simple meals a couple times a week, so that I don't have a lot of cooking every night. Does your dh bbq? Mine does, and that gives me a break, too-I have him bbq almost every weekend, and he does the veggies on the grill, too, so I usually don't have to anything for those meals.

[dachshund mom]

Do you have any ideas on how DH could help with the saving? Does he have any vices that he could cut out? You mention starting a budget - why doesn't he do it. You don't really need special software. A simple excel sheet works. My DH has picked up hobbies over the years that actually save us money - car maintenance, gardening, landscaping our yard, building computers.

I agree that it's probably a lot of pressue on your DH to be responsible for bringing home the income and things being so tight at home being "his fault". All he can do is get a second job. Are you willing to give up weekends with him?

[colleengun]

Originally Posted by dachshund mom

I agree that it's probably a lot of pressue on your DH to be responsible for bringing home the income and things being so tight at home being "his fault". All he can do is get a second job. Are you willing to give up weekends with him?

The past four years have been really hard, dh left at 6am and got home at 7 everyday as well as for the last two years went to graduate school for his masters in library science. It meant a lot of responsibility falling on me especially with the baby and extremely long hours for him working and being away from the girls. The whole time we knew that it would mean a better life for us and now he's done school and got a job in our town cutting his hours from 65(work plus commute) and class another 8 hours plus homework of around 10 to 15 hours a week equaling around 85 hours to 36! I think we are both at the point where we need to make family time and home time first on the list. We both know if it has to happen a second job is an option. but we are trying very hard not to.

As for vices to cut out lets just say he has enough video games to last him a while! It will be a major adjustment to have him here so much so hopefully we can work out a way to spread the work around a little better. I am going to do a spreadsheet and try and pinpoint where our excess is and go from there. Thanks for the meal advice. I will be using your tips starting tonight! I guess it's just realizing that its a different way of thinking and living, when it comes to saving money.