Covering Women-Christian, Jewish, Muslims - Page 2

[merpk]

Originally Posted by smeisnotapirate

I'm still transitioning. I call it "transitioning" because I don't ALWAYS cover. : Reform Judiasm is a branch of Liberal/Progressive Judaism, but that means it has the same prejudices as modern feminism. There's a lot of thought that covering is anti-feminist or a step backwards. In the shul, while on-duty (I'm the Cantorial Soloist, so I'm a congregational leader), I usually cover with a bukhara kippah - traditionally men's headcovering, but much more acceptable than a tichel for some reason.

Otherwise, everyone knows me as the hippie. I'm a fan of bandanas and scarves, and I think since I'm still transitioning, not many people have noticed. I do get a lot of "You're not going Orthodox on us, are you?" Whatever.

smeis, I spent a week-plus at the Eylat Chayyim Retreat Center about 12 years ago, our meditation teacher was giving a seminar there, so we went. It was a wonderful experience, but the point is that we were just two of maybe six Orthodox people there, and three of those six were teachers/seminar leaders (whatever you'd call them) ... anyway, out of the several hundred people there that week, I was the only one with a tikhel. There were many women who wore kippot/yarmulkes, though.

I can't begin to tell you the attention my tikhels got. During one session several women just ganged up on me (literally), why I would oppress myself in such a way as to cover my hair. Why, I finally responded (tired of trying to be polite), do you wear a kippa? They each responded some variation of, to feel Jewish identity, to feel closer to G!d, okay. So why was my reason less valid than theirs?

And why was wearing a men's haircovering more valid to them/more 'religiously authentic' to them than wearing something traditionally worn by women?



It was very distressing.



Okay, sorry, just had to get that out. I feel better now.

[smeisnotapirate]

Originally Posted by merpk

smeis, I spent a week-plus at the Eylat Chayyim Retreat Center about 12 years ago, our meditation teacher was giving a seminar there, so we went. It was a wonderful experience, but the point is that we were just two of maybe six Orthodox people there, and three of those six were teachers/seminar leaders (whatever you'd call them) ... anyway, out of the several hundred people there that week, I was the only one with a tikhel. There were many women who wore kippot/yarmulkes, though.

I can't begin to tell you the attention my tikhels got. During one session several women just ganged up on me (literally), why I would oppress myself in such a way as to cover my hair. Why, I finally responded (tired of trying to be polite), do you wear a kippa? They each responded some variation of, to feel Jewish identity, to feel closer to G!d, okay. So why was my reason less valid than theirs?

And why was wearing a men's haircovering more valid to them/more 'religiously authentic' to them than wearing something traditionally worn by women?



It was very distressing.



Okay, sorry, just had to get that out. I feel better now.

I know. Exactly. I always say that thanks to feminism, I have the choice - and this is my choice. Agree or disagree. Usually people don't get it. My age doesn't help - I get a lot of "well, when you're older..." or even worse, the same people turn to my DH and say "how can you let her do that??"

My quiet, meek DH then gives them a piece of his mind.

[Belleweather]

Originally Posted by merpk

smeis, I spent a week-plus at the Eylat Chayyim Retreat Center about 12 years ago, our meditation teacher was giving a seminar there, so we went. It was a wonderful experience, but the point is that we were just two of maybe six Orthodox people there, and three of those six were teachers/seminar leaders (whatever you'd call them) ... anyway, out of the several hundred people there that week, I was the only one with a tikhel. There were many women who wore kippot/yarmulkes, though.

I can't begin to tell you the attention my tikhels got. During one session several women just ganged up on me (literally), why I would oppress myself in such a way as to cover my hair. Why, I finally responded (tired of trying to be polite), do you wear a kippa? They each responded some variation of, to feel Jewish identity, to feel closer to G!d, okay. So why was my reason less valid than theirs?

And why was wearing a men's haircovering more valid to them/more 'religiously authentic' to them than wearing something traditionally worn by women?



It was very distressing.



Okay, sorry, just had to get that out. I feel better now.

That seems so ODD to me. I mean, I know that I am just a baby convert and all, and I don't men to say Kippot are ugly. But Tichels are just GORGEOUS!! I used to wear them in High School just to get my hair up and because I thought they were lovely and looked kinda punk and anti-establishment and cool. ( <---- eyeroll directed at my 16 year old self)

[Jannah6]

Originally Posted by jessymama

I am a muslim woman and I cover my head (outside, not inside the home) because I believe God said so in our holy book (the Quran). It is also something the companions of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) used to do and something that Mary, Mother of Jesus used to do. These women are my role models so why not strive to be like them!

Dido

[philia]

Headcovering Christians

I don't know why I am drawn to head covering now but I am. I actually bought one to wear when I pray at home. I feel like it makes me more called to prayer or something or more serious about praying when I ware it. I suppose like a uniform or something. I have two children now and I guess it is hard to find time for prayer and it is like it is a physical way to show " Now I am praying". Does anyone know what I mean ? I am an Orthodox Christian and very few people cover at church. I worry if I just started doing it that people would gossip. I have noticed I dress more modestly at church now since I have little kids and ware my hair back also. I just want to set a good example I guess. I never thought about any of this until I had babies who are now preschoolers and toddlers. I want them to be seroius about life in the Church and see that I take it seriously.
Anyone feel the same ?

[PatienceAndLove]

I cover for Mass, but part of me is wanting to cover more often. I have been looking at snoods, cause I think they are chic.
DH, on the other hand, finds my devoutness "backward" and "trying". So it's a long road I have ahead of me.
At least he's taken ok to me wearing skirts/dresses 95% of the time.

[mamabadger]

Originally Posted by philia

I don't know why I am drawn to head covering now but I am. I actually bought one to wear when I pray at home. I feel like it makes me more called to prayer or something or more serious about praying when I ware it. I suppose like a uniform or something. I have two children now and I guess it is hard to find time for prayer and it is like it is a physical way to show " Now I am praying". Does anyone know what I mean ? I am an Orthodox Christian and very few people cover at church. I worry if I just started doing it that people would gossip. I have noticed I dress more modestly at church now since I have little kids and ware my hair back also. I just want to set a good example I guess. I never thought about any of this until I had babies who are now preschoolers and toddlers. I want them to be seroius about life in the Church and see that I take it seriously.
Anyone feel the same ?

Having little ones seems to make these things all the more important and urgent.
I went from an Orthodox parish where all the women covered in church, to another where almost none do. I continue to cover for church services, but it is difficult to feel like I stand out, or worry that people might be offended.

[bmcneal]

Originally Posted by xekomaya

Would it be appropriate to ask: Anyone who started covering later in life - especially when it is not common in your community -- how the transition went for you and what experiences you had?

Honestly, it's been going pretty well. (I just started covering about a month or two ago.) No one I know has said anything about it, and no one I don't know has said anything about it either. Covering is not very common in my community, either. I dunno.

[brightonwoman]

I like the idea, but as a pp said, my DH thinks it's cheesy and doesn't want me to do it, and I feel like one of the main points is wifely submission...so for me to cover would totally go against submitting....so yeah, I don't cover.
I do wear bandanas on my head from time to time--just for the practicality of keeping hair out of my face when I'm working etc. I also wear my hair long (he DOES like that )
I love the idea of a lace kerchief for worship, but it's not happening in the near future (as per DH).

[Ruthla]

Originally Posted by merpk

And why was wearing a men's haircovering more valid to them/more 'religiously authentic' to them than wearing something traditionally worn by women?

especially in light of the Torah passage about women and men not wearing each other's clothing!

[delicate_sunshine]

I just started covering a couple of weeks ago and I don't know a single other person who does it. No one has said anything, though. I guess, because I wear handkerchiefs and hats and they look kind of funky, so maybe people just think they're fashion accessories. IDK. I haven't really made a point of saying "Hello, did you notice my head covering?" I kind of don't want people to notice b/c around here, with NO ONE else covering, it would seem like I was being all "holier than thou." And I really don't want to come off that way. I feel like it's between me and God. So, yeah...