I'm a single WAHM to two wonderful bio kids. I love them dearly, and God has given me a heart to care for more children. I am eager to start fostering. I have been to the first informational meeting but I have put things on hold for one reason. My question is this:
My 3yo son (my oldest) may not be ready for a foster-sibling that may not be a permanent part of the family. Is there an age you feel a child can handle the placement AND departure of a foster-sibling?
as a footnote:
I ask this because of a previous situation that helped me see I am ready to foster. I have a friend who eagerly dumps her son (same age as mine) on me for weeks or a month at a time. Each time my own kids have to adjust to new routines and then again go back to our normal schedule when he goes home-ish. The last time he was here we had his bed and all his clothes and toys too. He is a year behind in mental, verbal and some motor skills, so it is challenging. I am the only person she knows who can handle him, which is why I am happy to take care of him. It felt permanent after the first few days and we were a new family. Then 2 weeks later his mom decided she wanted to be a mom again and with barely any warning told me to bring him back. There is no reason to fight her, she loves her son. However, this cycle will continue until I put my foot down. It is hard on my son because he knows what his little buddy is going back to (it's a bad, unstable situation with lots of screaming). He cried almost the whole evening after. I reassured him that the best place for his friend to be is with his own mom, but my son didn't want that; he knows his friend is happier here. That was a month ago now, and we're fine. My son still asks about his little buddy every day. What can I do for my son the next time this happens (if I let it happen again)? My house is the only happy and safe place and both boys know that...
My 3yo son (my oldest) may not be ready for a foster-sibling that may not be a permanent part of the family. Is there an age you feel a child can handle the placement AND departure of a foster-sibling?
as a footnote:
I ask this because of a previous situation that helped me see I am ready to foster. I have a friend who eagerly dumps her son (same age as mine) on me for weeks or a month at a time. Each time my own kids have to adjust to new routines and then again go back to our normal schedule when he goes home-ish. The last time he was here we had his bed and all his clothes and toys too. He is a year behind in mental, verbal and some motor skills, so it is challenging. I am the only person she knows who can handle him, which is why I am happy to take care of him. It felt permanent after the first few days and we were a new family. Then 2 weeks later his mom decided she wanted to be a mom again and with barely any warning told me to bring him back. There is no reason to fight her, she loves her son. However, this cycle will continue until I put my foot down. It is hard on my son because he knows what his little buddy is going back to (it's a bad, unstable situation with lots of screaming). He cried almost the whole evening after. I reassured him that the best place for his friend to be is with his own mom, but my son didn't want that; he knows his friend is happier here. That was a month ago now, and we're fine. My son still asks about his little buddy every day. What can I do for my son the next time this happens (if I let it happen again)? My house is the only happy and safe place and both boys know that...
