Newly Pregnant Moms Over 40

[eko_mom]

Hey there, just wondering if anyone out there is or will be over 40 when babe is due. What do they call it? Geriatric maternity or something.

I'm having anxiety about genetic testing and all that it entails. This is my second. Anyone else been there done that...I'm having a hard time getting excited...not really, I AM excited, but there's so much out there about the risks...am I just hormonal?

[chely7425]

I am not over 40 but my mom got pregnant with my brother and sister (twins) when she was 40 and had them on her 41st birthday!! She did the genetic testing because 16 years ago 41 was much older to be having a baby, let alone twins!! They are happy, healthy, annoying teenagers now though Congrats on your baby!

[ktmama]

I had a perfect, normal pg and homebirth baby when I was 40 1/2, three years ago. I'm pg again and will give birth when I'm 44. It worked best for me to not have any testing, since it wouldn't change my decision to have the baby and could potentially cause tension and conflict between my dh and me (as to whether to terminate or not) - not to mention both the known and unknown risks of prenatal testing and screening. I know it can be scary to think about everything that could go wrong. The only thing our age puts us at risk for (excluding other family risks) more than younger women is Downs syndrome and the risk of DS over 40 is 1 in 100. Said another way, that 1%. That's a very low risk. There are other risks for pregnancy (vs for the baby) that include hbp, gestational diabetes, and miscarriage, but good prenatal care and maternal health go a long way to alleviate these factors.

For myself, I am avoiding reading too much and am cultivating peace of mind. When I look at my family, I see many fertile women and many, many happy, healthy children. There's no reason to think that trend won't continue. I'm planning another healthy pg and homebirth.

Peace, mama.

[ManifestBaby]

I'm pregnant with twins- due 3 days after my 43rd birthday. These will be my first children. I'm not sure that I will do any testing. I know I don't want to do anything that would risk the pregnancy even if the risk is small. As far as screening tests I'm just not sure. They could either ease your mind or cause undo concern.

[ktmama]

I'm so glad there are a few of us over 40! I hope we can continue to support each other. Congrats to each of you!

[ManifestBaby]

ktmama- I agree it's great to have others in this age group. I was afraid that I would be the only one. Let's definitely support each other.

[eko_mom]

I agree--good to see there are a few of us.

I was 37 when my first child was born, and the pg and birth were both natural and wonderful. I didn't feel "geriatric" unless I went to the OB's office! (I switched to a midwife part way through).

I feel better prepared to parent now that I'm older, but I must say, I am also more tired.

I could be wrong, but I am anticipating the concern of my family members who had children a lot earlier--rather than excitement about the pregnancy and it makes me want to avoid telling them for as long as I can, though with as bloated as I am that won't be for very long.

[mariskamom]

Hi Ladies,

I'm happy to have so much company! I will be 41 when my little one arrives. I was 38 with my first.

We did a lot of blood tests with our first pregnancy not so much because of age but because DH is Jewish and he wanted to rule out some of the things that are a bit more common in European Jews. We also did a full ultrasound and amnio for my first.

Not sure what we will do this time.

[lovbeingamommy]

just want to say a great big Congratulations to ALL the older mamas!!!!


I'm not in this DDC, but was in May and had a m/c. Looking forward to being in the Feb or Mar DDC at 44!!

[being]

Hi !
-got blood test confirmation that I am pregnant today.I'm 44 & have a dd. 3.7 yrs.
This baby is due late June -July.I'll be 45 in Aug.
I had a miscarriage last year at this very time at @ 8 weeks.I am currently taking natural progesterone due to luteal phase defect-a recent finding.Only been taking progesterone for two months ..midwife may have me continue taking progesterone suppository through first trimester to help sustain progesterone levels which could prevent early miscarriage...keeping the focus in the day to day i'll definately be more mindful of getting adequete sleep etc..Hope everyone's taking good care!

[ktmama]

Manifest, I recently met a new friend who had twins (her first and only kids) at 43! I plan on taking her to coffee next week and picking her brain a bit as to her feelings and the attitudes of others towards her. I'm finding myself reluctant to tell too many people about my pg. Part of that is planned due to two recent losses, but part of it is due to some trepidation about their reaction. Funny, what other people think never, ever bothers me, but for some reason it is in this situation. I think honestly I'm projecting my own doubts onto them. Maybe I'm feeling too old for this, KWIM?

[being]

Perhaps it' because I hail from a large Irish family-my mom had 10 children w/less than 1 ovary-Dr.'s advice was for her to have children early if in fact she could conceive.Well she started early had 15 pregnancies -4 m/c and one stillborn and ten healthy full term babies.She conceived her last at 42 yo and 3 of my 5 sis had first chidren in late to mid-forties...
My family is not close knit however and bulk of feedback w/ respect to my being pregnant comes from friends some w/ grown kids some childless and honestly more so often relative strangers offer the most sincere congrats -I've never had anyone comment on my age However before sharing my news I often have to stop myself from qualifying things by announcing my age first...more my issue and if someone else's issue w/ my age affects me. Again I don't have a close knit family it would still be my issue to address should it cause me undo discomfort..
Having said all this yeah my body reminds me I'm not 25-the knees aren't as springy and I've got to be more carefull particularly at 5 10'' when I jump up from a kiddie seat at the library or at preschool.Yeah and I do require sleep now...I do sometimes wonder if I'll be able to keep up the pace...and I know things will be fine if I need to make adjustments I will.But yeah. I can physically feel old -knee issue is a recent development as well as needing to wear "reading " glasses at night.

[ManifestBaby]

ktmama-
I't's great that you met someone who had twins at 43!

You probably are projecting your doubts onto others. Remember, 40 is the new 20. Seriously, people are living so much longer. What else have you got to do for the next 60 years?

I've only told people that I work with so far. I'll tell my family at Thanksgiving. I expect they will all be happy for me. Not sure about MIL though, she made a comment to me last year about her daughter that just had a baby. She said, "you know she's going to stop at one because she was lucky that everything turned out ok at her age". (She's a year and a half younger than me, and due in two months with a healthy baby number two!) I took the comment as she was trying to discourage me. I haven't told friends yet either. I had one that was very rude when she found out that I was TTC in my late thirties. Really this was just about her inconvenience of losing a friend that could be spontaneous and go out and travel whenever she wanted to. I'm too happy to care what anyone thinks. Remember these babies chose us. They wouldn't have if they didn't think we were up to the job!

[eko_mom]

Originally Posted by ManifestBaby

ktmama-
Remember these babies chose us. They wouldn't have if they didn't think we were up to the job!

I like your POV ManifestBaby. I am feeling really tired anxious trying to figure out how I will adequately mother a newborn and my very attached 3 y.o. to whom I am very attached. We are still co-sleeping and nursing.

[ktmama]

Remember these babies chose us. They wouldn't have if they didn't think we were up to the job!

This is kind of depressing, actually. Could it mean that I wasn't up to the job of being a mom to the two I lost?

[ManifestBaby]

eko_mom-

I'm sure you'll do just fine. This new addition will be a gift not only to you but to your whole family. Your three year old will have another person to share their life with, to laugh, and play, and grow up and grow old with. If this brings about a change in your relationship with your three year old, just remember, it's a natural and healthy progression of your relationship with your child.


ktmama-

No. I don't think that's it at all. I don't know what your belief system is but I think that we not only choose our families but our bodies. Sometimes they need something specific to accomplish the things they came to do, to learn the lessons they came to learn. My mother had two children 11 months apart, followed by 4 miscarriages over the next 11 years, followed by two more children 20 months apart. Well I was number three. I always thought it was probably me being indecisive as usual. I pray that this is the time they will go the distance for you so that you can hold that baby in your arms and say, "hey, what took you so long?"

[AnnR33]

Glad to see some other 40+ mamas I'm due with #4 end of June/early July. This one was a total surprise (right after we decided no more babies ) but a good one of course.
My 3rd was conceived when I was 35, born when I was 36. Just on the edge of when they start pushing the extra testing. I declined all of it, knowing I wouldn't do anything different and didn't want to worry for all those months.

This time I'm 40 but will still decline all the tests. I might get an ultrasound at 20 weeks, we'll see. I'm a total sucker for wanting to know the sex. If anything would be wrong I would just have more time to research the heck out of it I guess.

[ktmama]

Manifest, you are sweet and I appreciate your perspective. As an atheist, though, your philosophy and mine are a bit different! No harm, no foul. Either way, if I do end up with a baby in my arms, I'm very sure I *will* say, "Hey, what took you so long?"

[40+mom]

I'm 43, entering week 12 and waiting for my first Specialist appointment next week. This is our first child after one early m/c and I'm a little nervous, but very excited!

Anyone had any testing done yet?

[ktmama]

Welcome, 40+Mom!

No testing for us. Planning another uneventful homebirth. I'll be 44 when baby arrives. Wanted you all to know that I heard a heartbeat yesterday at my appt. with my mw. I'm 12w6d today!