40th anniversary for my father

[Shantimama]

This weekend will be the 40th anniversary of my father's death - I was a baby when he died.

I am finding it harder than I anticipated. How long does the grief go on? I have no memory of him so it is the chance to have known him I grieve more than I can actually grieve him.

Four decades is a long time. It is taking me by surprise how strong my feelings are heading into Thanksgiving weekend with this anniversary (I am Canadian and Monday is Thanksgiving.)

[Susana]

shantimama
I am sorry you are feeling so sad. I lost my dad in March. I have had people tell me the pain never goes away. Doesn't surprise me, I think I know that is the truth. I just hope it gets easier to deal with, but I don't know about that either.

again, I'm sorry.

[Phoenix_Rising]

My paternal grandfather died when my mom was a year and a half old. She describes her grief the same way you do, Shantimama. She has tried talking about him to the people who are around that knew him. When that did not work she decided to write letters to him in her journal, which has been somewhat helpful for her.

[meemee]

shantimama i dont think those feelings ever really go away. they do go in hibernation and leap out strongly at certain times.

my neighbour 87 year old (just passed too recently) lost her mother when she was 3 years old. she barely remembers her. snatches of memory here and there.

yet till her dying day she missed her mom. just like u - somedays the feelings were strong.

she always reminded me how lucky i was to even have a mother in my life and helped me heal a lot of what lay between my mom and me.

i was v. close to my gpa and lost him 30 years ago. i still miss him and still feel the pain.