I really don't know whether this issue is relative (mostly) to Grace's special needs (as in, her disability) or whether it's related to her adoption journey, so I'm going to put this in both forums. Hope that's okay.
So, how do we teach a healthy fear (?) of strangers, without making our children afraid of strangers? I really need some language for this.
Very regularly, when we are out and about, Grace will seem to attach to another woman, man, child in ways that, I think, are inappropriate. For instance, as soon as another woman walks up (or even into our home), she will take her hand and try to lead her to her room or, if we're out, she'll crawl up in her lap and call her "mommy." Now, part of it is that she calls most women "mommy" since they are "Lila's Mommy" or "Evie's Mommy," etc. But, she will refuse to come back to me, yelling at me, in fact.
She has also done this, more than once, with the drunk guy at the music festival, or the hippy family smoking pot at the outdoor movie. When we go get her to bring her back (these are places where there are lots of kids running about, so it's not like we're taking her to all-adult activities), she will screech and scream and kick. She just doesn't want to be with us. I don't know if this is a typical behavior or a reaction or what.
ETA: She is very affectionate with us otherwise and will cuddle and whatnot. She's also very identified with us, if that makes sense. "My mommy," "My daddy." It's just this lack of barrier with strangers that I'm worried about.
So, how do we teach a healthy fear (?) of strangers, without making our children afraid of strangers? I really need some language for this.
Very regularly, when we are out and about, Grace will seem to attach to another woman, man, child in ways that, I think, are inappropriate. For instance, as soon as another woman walks up (or even into our home), she will take her hand and try to lead her to her room or, if we're out, she'll crawl up in her lap and call her "mommy." Now, part of it is that she calls most women "mommy" since they are "Lila's Mommy" or "Evie's Mommy," etc. But, she will refuse to come back to me, yelling at me, in fact.
She has also done this, more than once, with the drunk guy at the music festival, or the hippy family smoking pot at the outdoor movie. When we go get her to bring her back (these are places where there are lots of kids running about, so it's not like we're taking her to all-adult activities), she will screech and scream and kick. She just doesn't want to be with us. I don't know if this is a typical behavior or a reaction or what.
ETA: She is very affectionate with us otherwise and will cuddle and whatnot. She's also very identified with us, if that makes sense. "My mommy," "My daddy." It's just this lack of barrier with strangers that I'm worried about.
