Devastated! 3.5 yo dd - 6 cavities & getting front tooth pulled tomorrow

[CariS]

My 3.5 yo dd went to the dentist for the first time a few weeks ago. At that time I found out she had 6 - yes 6! - cavities. They're in between teeth so three areas, 6 teeth. I cried in the office. I was completely shocked.

We are not a sugar family. We don't have juice in the house, don't do juice boxes as much as some of my friends, don't have sweets for the kids in the house. The kids don't use maple syrup with their pancakes and waffles! We just don't do sugar! We brush. We floss.

Dh does have bad teeth. I also think I should have introduced floride toothpaste sooner.

So last Monday (7 days ago) she had 4 cavities filled. No one got sleep this weekend - she was in pain. We called the on call dentist. He said it sounded like an infection and prescribed amoxicilin (sp?). So we went into the dentist first thing this AM. The dentist said the tooth is wobbly and has to be removed. I cried again in their office.

6 cavities -> getting them filled -> antibiotics -> front tooth pulled.

I'm devastated. So my dd is going to walk around for the next three years without a front tooth. I'm worried about her adult tooth coming in (dentist said only issue may be bone will grow over the site and take longer for the new tooth to come in but should be OK). I feel like I failed my dd. This could have been prevented. I feel sick.

Please - everyone go to the dentist earlier than later, brush and floss many times per day, don't do one juice box - ever! Eat an apple instead!

[paranoidprego]

that is horrible!!! i have a dd that is about to turn 3 in december. we don't do sugar either. but i admit, we haven't flossed in a while (ran out of floss and never bought more).
when did you introduce fluoride? we are firm believers in not using fluoride, but your story scares me. i wonder is there is anyone out there that had a similar story and did use fluoride.
i'm sorry you guys have to go through this. good luck!

[AAK]

Don't beat yourself up!!!!! It isn't all sugar related--genetics DO play a part in this. Hugs to you!

Amy

[transylvania_mom]

Hugs to you. I know how it is; my ds had cavities since he was 1 y/o and has caps on almost all upper teeth. He had dental surgery at 18 mo, but fortunately they were able to save all his teeth.
What I learned from this experience was that it doesn't matter how much sugary snacks or drinks one has, but for how long one's teeth are exposed to food. Ds didn't like sweets, he wouldn't touch juice but used to chew on a piece of food for hours sometimes.
As soon as he had the surgery we started eating most meals at the table, reduced the snacks and started brushing every evening. It's been 2 years since then and we had no more problems (we saw the dentist 3 times).
I was devastated when ds had surgery and kept blaming myself. But he's ok now and we learned how to take care of his teeth. I'm sure your dd will be fine too.
Take care.

[DevaMajka]

Moved from Parenting to Dental

[CariS]

Thank for the hugs and support.

This is a really hard one for me. We are blessed with very healthy children. I don't want to be ungrateful. I know there are people out there with much worse things. Its just that this was possibly preventable. I swear we not eating sugar foods and drinks on a daily basis. I just don't know.

[KatWrangler]

What about fruit? Applesauce?

[XanaduMama]

Originally Posted by AAK

Don't beat yourself up!!!!! It isn't all sugar related--genetics DO play a part in this.

:

Some kids are just more prone to cavities. Sounds like you're doing a great job...wish I was half as on top of things as you. Thinking about cracking the fluoride toothpaste now, though...

[CariS]

Originally Posted by XanaduMama

:

Some kids are just more prone to cavities. Sounds like you're doing a great job...wish I was half as on top of things as you. Thinking about cracking the fluoride toothpaste now, though...

Thank you so much. So kind. I'm trying not to internalize this but I feel like I've failed her. I think what is so hard is that its not one clear thing - that we gave 100 juice boxes a day or sweets all the time. If it were that then I could just take it out. But I can't figure it out which is really bothering me.

Oh the joys of motherhood! =)

I do recommend floride water, floride toothpaste, and taking kids to the dentist WAY earlier than I thought (I was 9 yo when I first went and not a one cavity), NOT ONE juice box - ever, apples instead or water of course. We are going to be a house clean of sugar now.

Well. I'm out the door now to drive my daughter to a take drugs and have her tooth pulled out. I'm deeply grateful to God/The Universe that it is nothing worse. I really am. But this is not easy. I'm learning a lot. A bit more than I want to know.

Thank you so much everyone for your words of support. Very kind and unbelievably helpful. Thank you.

[EENS]

Originally Posted by CariS

Thank for the hugs and support.

This is a really hard one for me. We are blessed with very healthy children. I don't want to be ungrateful. I know there are people out there with much worse things. Its just that this was possibly preventable. I swear we not eating sugar foods and drinks on a daily basis. I just don't know.

I'm in the same predicament.

I should have used fluoride. Despite my objections to the contrary, I'm sure the dentist was thinking I fed my kids junk all day.

[neptunemama]

I truly believe genetics play a HUGE role. I had cavities every time I went to the dentist growing up. Every time!

My sister has never had a cavity in her life. We ate the same things, brushed together every night etc...

When I was a teen I switched dentists (I refused to go to our other one anymore b/c he was so awful to me about my "poor brushing") and found out my enamel was weak and my adult teeth hadn't formed correctly (perhaps baby teeth too though too late to know that for sure). So nothing I could have done would really have helped much. My current dentist has told me the same thing.

Go easy on yourself. Plenty of families have more than one child and one gets the cavities, one doesn't eating the same stuff.

[dancingmommyof2]

Neptunemama is totally right -- genetics has a huge role, and most likely any of the juice boxes you might have given your daughter wouldn't have changed this outcome. This too shall pass... Those grown-up front teeth come in pretty fast.

Diane

[JamesMama]

I fully believe gentics play a HUGE role in teeth. My DS had EIGHT caveties and had to have 4 teeth capped.

My DH's family has HORRIBLE teeth for generations. His mom and grandparents all have false teeth.

Case in point...DH's aunt has 3 kids...she is OBSESSIVE about brusing, flossing, etc...Oldest had 7, middle had 8, youngest had 9. My MIL who is (imo) NOT a good mother never forced her kids to brush/floss...gave all the kids SODA and juice in their baby bottles, I don't think they'd know a banana if they tripped over it...DH had 7, SIL1 had 6, BIL1 had 7, BIL2 had 7, SIL2 had 6, BIL3 had 6.

It's truly just one of those things...

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

My ds had to have all 4 top front teeth pulled at 2y2m for severe decay. I felt awful but his teeth just came in with weak enamal nothing I did or didnt do would have made a difference.

He needs major dental work now but I am putting it off as long as possible so that he can have it done without going under GA.

[bscal]

I know I'm a little late on this... but my DD has had many similar dental issues and we do use toothpaste with flouride. So please, OP, don't beat yourself up on that one. She started using it at age 2 1/2 (when the child can spit it into the sink as per my ped). I have been super vigilant with her about brushing 2x per day, flossing as much as I can (she can be a bit strong willed and I don't want to force her). She had 3 cavities drilled out last Dec. Two of those were on her front two teeth and were so bad she had to have partial crowns put on as well. We just saw the dentist on Oct. 13 and one of those 2 teeth has an absess around the root now. She has to have it extracted. I feel horrible for her.

Anyhow, I would like to share with you the conversation I had with our wonderful ped dentist after he had to do more drilling than he'd anticipated and she needed the partial crowns. I was in tears and felt like the worst mom ever... so I asked him "What can I do? She brushes twice a day, I brush with her to make sure we brush properly. We only have the occasional sweet and brush immediately afterwards. No soda, no cups or bottles to sleep with ever. She eats a healthy variety of food and takes vitamins. How can I keep this from happening again? What are we forgetting to do? Is it the flossing? Should I be making her floss every night?" After that long tearful guilt ridden mom thing was over, he put a hand on my shoulder, looked me right in the eyes and said "Sophie has very weak enamel on some of her baby teeth. It's basically a birth defect. All we can do is pray that her adult teeth come in with good strong enamel. There is NOTHING you could have done to prevent this. I'm actually surprised we didn't have to go in there and do more extensive work earlier." I felt SO much better after that. We're still very careful with brushing and flossing. But I'm not beating myself up about it anymore.

Beth

[Devaskyla]

I do recommend floride water, floride toothpaste, and taking kids to the dentist WAY earlier than I thought (I was 9 yo when I first went and not a one cavity), NOT ONE juice box - ever, apples instead or water of course. We are going to be a house clean of sugar now.

The fluoride in water (except for naturally fluoridated water supplies) is a toxic chemical & doesn't work systemically (aka when ingested) anyway. Fluorid is only useful when applied to directly to the teeth. Getting too much fluoride systemically can cause serious damage to teeth & bones. In fact, I believe ds2 had to have 4 teeth pulled due to damage caused by fluoride in our water. He received massive amounts due to the fact that we don't usually drink anything other than water, so he got it in utero, while breastfeeding & once he wanted something other than milk to drink.

Also, flossing is not nearly as good as irrigating. It's tricky to do on little kids, but gets below the gums, which flossing can't do. Since we got rid of toothpaste entirely (glycerin in it prevents remineralization), started making our own mouthwash to kill the bacteria that cause cavities, giving the kids CLO & using an irrigator (waterpik), we've actually seen a cavity that ds2 was starting to get on a back molar resolve.

Eta: Sugar/juice boxes are not evil. Cavities are caused by the interaction of various sugars (including those from grains & fruits) & bacteria. If you have the bacteria that cause cavities, pretty much anything can cause them, especially if you have weak enamel, if you don't have it, you could eat nothing but sugar & never get cavities. The biggest concern is things that stay stuck in your teeth (like any of the dried fruits or those nasty gummi bears).

[Lupena]

How do you make your own mouthwash??

[Devaskyla]

For mine, I use water & essential oils (peppermint or spearmint, tea tree oil, myrrh & orange oil). We have to shake it briefly before using it. I've been thinking of adding some xylitol as well, since it's pretty potent. The kids still use it, though, & it doesn't dry out the mouth the way commecial, alchohol mouthwashes do. I know some people make a mouthwash with celtic sea salt, too.

[OTmama]

How young can you start giving CLO?

[Strong Mama]

Genetics have more to do with cavaties than anything. The dentist flat out told me that. I have bad teeth, dh does not. My older son who is 15 drank sweet tea out of a bottle til he was2(i was a young dumb mama at 18 and didnt know better)of course i did brush his teeth but he has never had one cavaty..hes a teen now! And my younger son has 7 caps and numerous cavaties, the dentist said he got my bacteria from my side of the family in his mouth. So for kids like this, with the bad bacteria in their mouths, you have to brush twice a day like your life depends on it, brush after eating sugary items, and floss. He went back to the dentist today for the first time in ayear, and..NO NEW CAVATIES!! woohoo!!!