What would you say to SIL?

[honeybeemac]

I'm due next Tues. (Oct. 21st) with my second girl. We don't have a name yet, but so far its between Delilah and Isabel. Something drew me to both names during this pregnancy. I know my brother and SIL love the name Isabella and IF they ever have a girl that is supposed to be her name (they have two boys). While I think that the names are obviously similar they are not the same name. The kicker is that we both like the nickname Izzy. I have always adored that nickname. I'm a big fan of Grey's Anatomy. I'm sure that by brother and SIL think I'm "stealing" their nickname, but I didn't not hear it first from them and frankly, its not an original nickname anyway. They know its a possibility that this baby may be named Isabel and possibly called Izzy. I don't mind if my daugther or their maybe future daughter have similar names and the same nicknames. I've considered this already. There are two Natalies, two Vincinettas, two Marks, two Scotts in our family and its not a big deal to me. So, to the point.... they haven't come out and said anything like "don't use that name, we will be upset..." type statement until NOW. A week before I'm due or basically right before I give birth. While they didn't say that in so many words, but basically they are bringing it up to me and through an email. I know I need to reply to the email but I don't know what to say without sounding pissy or uncaring. I do love my SIL and things haven't always been smooth with her but they are now. However, I don't think that someone can reserve a name and I don't want this to influence our decision either way, especially since I was hoping this baby girl will let us know what her name is. So-any ideas on what I should say?

[Turtlemum]

I think pointing out that your family has two scotts, two whatever names is nice. But really, she might not ever have a girl and then you wouldn't get to use a name you love and that speaks to you just because she "might" have a girl?! That is crazy. I think just saying that naming a baby is so personal and that you've thought long and hard about what you will name your baby. You have no desire to hurt them and are totally okay with the kids having the same name...

tough one...

[NDFanatik]

What Turtlemum said about mentioning the 2 names in the family, the whole "chance" of having a girl later on, and not wanting to hurt them. I tend to come off a little blunt when talking to people about things like that (thus coming off as a b*tch) so I'm not really great on advice when it comes on how to word it, lol. I guess just try to be as "sweet" or "nice" as you can but without being passive. You need to be assertive to a point so that they understand that it's your choice and just because they MIGHT have a girl later on shouldn't affect what you name you child NOW.

Oh and I would call them and talk to them personally rather than respond to an email... SOOOO many things can be misunderstood in an email and *I* think it would be better to be able to clarify what you mean so that they don't unintentionally take something the wrong way if it's written instead of spoken.

My input, for what it's worth :P

[OrchideZ]

I would just point out that Isabelle/Isabella and all its variants is a top 5 girl name and uber popular/trendy so if you weren't naming your little girl this, their daughter would certainly be one of many Isabellas in school anyway.
Something to consider as opposed to a rare/unusual name that one might never hear and would be more of a stand-out in the same family.
Name your daughter what you like I say. Its ridiculous for them to get all precious over a name as popular as this one.

[honeybeemac]

Thanks everyone for your feedback. I just sent the reply email to her. Email is not my choice to communicate about important/sensitive topics but this is her choice of communication. We never talk on the phone. I did think about calling her or my brother, but since I could have this baby any day now, I really don't need to get into an argument and time is of the essence. I replied as gently as possible but I was firm and clear that it still one of our choices. Hopefully, I was also clear that this topic is now over for discussion. Thanks again for the replies/advice!!! Blessings.

[selena_ski]

Name your child what you want, but i did want to add. We named our DD Delilah and it has gone over very well. People are always complimenting her name. I think it is a nice classic name. and there aren't a bazillion of them out there.

[mkmb129]

If they said nothing until now, it's fair game. Also, if she's not even pregnant, there's no way I'd consider a different name then that. It's your child. They should've said something long before now imo if it was that important, and not via email! I personally love the name, it was on my list

[mama2toomany]

I have an IZZY!! (not an isabella or anything, but an Elizabeth) I hated all the other nicknames for Elizabeth. Libby would have been my second choice.

I have also have Evan who is 11, And when my SIL had a baby this year and named him Evan, I was a little ticked off at first lol, must have been hormones or something. I am ok with it now. they are just names. And If i got ticked off at everyone named Evan, it would be a long list

[OkiMom]

Not in your DDC but my SIL is very similar in a way.. The difference is she isn't married or dating however she thinks she should have dibs on a name. For example DH and I choose to name our first son after my DH's grandfather since they are so close. When I mentioned it to my SIL she told me I COULDN"T do that because she was naming her boy after him. When I mentioned that we picked Alexandra as the girls name she again said I couldn't use it because it was one of the names she liked.. She never mentioned either name as ones she liked before, in fact she mentioned she didn't like her grandfathers name. I basically said I love you but these are the names we picked and Im not changing them. If she wants to use the name later she can. I don't think anyone should have dibs on a name or tell someone else they can't use it.

[Baby_Cakes]

I don't know if I have advice but a similar thing happened to me. I was a dolt early in my pg and I actually asked my sisters if they had names that they were going to name their future children, so that I didn't use them. Of course, my one sister said that they planned on naming their "potential future son" Nathaniel (Nate) which was #1 on my boy name list. Ugh, I was so frustrated that I'd even asked, b/c I really couldn't use it then.

Then during the summer, my other sister brought up that she had a name picked for her "potential future daughter" for years, and since we were keeping our name secret she was nervous. She asked how many letters, and we said, four. She looked even more nervous. She said, "It's ok, if it's the same name I wanted to use, it will be just as special to have a niece with that name." But 10 minutes later she approached DH and I and asked, "Ok, I have to know, is it Emma?" DH and I both smiled, and told her no, it wasn't. She was SO relieved.

I'm personally just too nice. I couldn't have used a name that my sisters wanted to use. That being said, they are my sisters, not my sisters-in-law. And I'm not sure I like the fact that yours is giving you a hard time about it. If it were me, and my SIL or BIL was giving me a hard time about using a name, I just wouldn't use it. But that's me. I'm a pushover.