How stressed is your foster care system? - Page 2

[JoyFilled]

Double post

[curliemama]

Originally Posted by lovinlife1219

We want to be foster parents. From what I understand, the system here is very stressed. When we were filling out the paperwork, and told them we would foster a child (or 2) aged 3-10, we were told that they had just received 25 children that week that were in that age group that needed placement.
So, so, sad.

We want to foster and help out anyway we can, but they aren't very family friendly, which I don't understand. The classes are twice a week, for four hours a day, and my 1-yr old daughter is still BF'ing a lot (A LOT!) and they said I couldn't bring her and she won't take a bottle for anyone. I asked if I could have DH sit with her in another room and come get me when she was hungry and they said no. I told them that as much as I want to help and be a foster mom, I'm not willing to wean my baby for it. Bummer too, I think we'd be a great foster family. But that is another story, sorry for going off topic!

We are in the same predicament. Also, DH's work is flexible, but not enough that he can devote an entire Saturday/Sunday two weekends in a row to complete the classes. We're going to have to do the evening classes in another county and likely take turns to complete them because I'm not all that comfortable leaving our youngest for that long with someone besides DH yet. We will probably have *everything* else done and be working on classes, but since my goal is just to have everything done on our end by next summer, we should be good.

[Tigerchild]

I would be careful about assuming that if your phone isn't ringing off the hook with calls that it means that the system isn't stressed.

As other people have mentioned many time (especially with kids who don't need a therapeutic foster home) a placement with strangers is not the first place to go. In addition, there are some kids who probably you do not want to place with green/inexperienced parents. If you have bio children, that's another consideration. Your own requirements may be another.

It kind of worries me that some people seem to infer that if your space is not immediately and constantly filled that must mean that the system isn't as stressed as it's made out to be. There are so many more considerations. You don't just stick a child in a spot because it's open, ideally.

[queenjane]

You don't just stick a child in a spot because it's open, ideally.

Here they are supposed to be placing on zip code. Thats it. Its a database, they look at all the available homes closest to the child's home, they call the agency for the first name on the list and then go on down. The criteria is by what the foster parent is willing to accept (age, race, sibs, etc)...they dont sit there going "is this a good home"....now that might occur *within* the agency, when they are moving kids between foster homes. But honestly, if they were really looking at the best home for the kid...my son sat in a hospital for two weeks (and not for any med. reason that i can see)....then they placed him in a foster home that already had one infant (with some special med. needs...prematurity, low weight, drug exposure)...while my home sat empty, no infant, just one older kid, me a stay at home/WAH mom. The case was very clearly headed toward adoption from the beginning (no guarantees of course), and yet they seemed surprised and happy finding out i was already approved to adopt (the original foster home was not)...when my son was removed from that foster home (not sure why...but they closed the home and said he just needed a home "without drama" so obviously something happened that raised concerns)...the other baby went to another mom from my training class who had been waiting for a placement for *seven* months. why in the world would you place two infants in one home, while another home sits empty, all because the home is in the right zip code??

When talking to my foster worker, she stated she had an infant on her caseload who needed to be in a preadopt home/foster home because the foster home he is in will not adopt and the case will be headed to adoption.....why not make those decisions earlier?

I was matched with a boy to adopt (rights not yet TPRd) in January, that boy was moved from one foster home to a different one...why not move him to my home, since i'm foster approved too, just in case he is TPRd? Oh, because there was a lack of communication.

Its *great* if, in some agencies or some counties, they sit down and try to match foster kids w/ foster homes....but it seems from what i've seen in online groups, that they really just call the first available home willing to take that child. When the intake worker is looking at the list of available homes, she may not know (how could she??) whether it would be a good match. If the child has a history w/ the agency or in the system, they may know "oh, can't put him w/ the Smiths, they have young children and he perps" but thats it.

I get a little sick of hearing how there are so many kids in need, and yet no one "needs" my help. If i hear one more commercial stating how many children need adoptive homes, i might scream. I have had an empty bed for a school aged boy (to adopt) for nearly 28 months. I have a really hard time believing that there is no child in this country that could not have benefitted from having a stable family to grow up in. Almost went off on the Wendys drive thru guy trying to sell me coupons for frostys, to benefit the Dave Thomas Foundation (i personally had a really bad experience w/ my former adoption worker who was a Wendys Wonderful Kids rep)...but i calmed myself.

If the system is stressed, and yet home upon home upon home who are flexible in the types of kids they will accept sit empty, then the system is broken.


Katherine

[Aliviclo]

QJ, where are you located? We're doing the zip code thing here in AZ, and it's rather ridiculous, if you ask me. I don't wind up getting any placements through my agency, because we live in an area where there are few if any kids removed to foster care. I only get calls from the After Hours people, for emergency receiving. It took us 3 months to get a placement when we started up again last winter. When she left (to an adoptive home), we got on the list three weeks before her scheduled move date, and we had a 3 day overlap in placements, which was perfect. I don't like to have a gap between placements; it's hard on me and the kids, who need to focus their grief onto loving a new baby.

There's a real bias against "back door adoptions" here, which is another thing I think is nuts. CPS case managers really seem to hate it when foster placements find their own prospective adoptive placement for foster kids in their care, and I have NO idea why. As was said above, why NOT figure it out earlier if you can? If a parent hasn't participated in 6 months, there's a reasonable chance that the case could move to an adoption case plan. If you know you don't want to adopt the child, and you have a friend who does, why not make the move early, so the child can bond with a family who would be willing to adopt him or her? We've been told that the highest levels of CPS are in support of this, but the case managers have been known to move children out of spite if a foster family is perceived as trying to find their own prospective adoptive placement for a child. One of the MANY things that's wrong with the system, IMO.

[lovinlife1219]

Originally Posted by Momily

That's so sad that being a good mom is what's keeping you from being a foster parent.

However, why can't your DH just take the class? Initially I assumed they needed you to take it together -- but if you think just you taking it while DH stays with the baby is an option -- why not the reverse?

Supposedly the primary caregiver needs to complete the classes (which would be completed in a month's time) in order to get licensed and they would let my husband do it over the course of a year. Am I missing something here? There is probably an easy answer and I am just not seeing it. It helps writing it down and having other people read it...then I get another perspective

As a worse-case scenario I will just wait until my daughter is less needy of the breast (maybe closer to her 2nd birthday?) and then it'd be easier to leave her with DH at home or with her grandma...which of course I am willing to do, I just wish we could help now and not a year or two from now. Ya know?

[queenjane]

Originally Posted by Aliviclo

QJ, where are you located?

I'm in MI. Some workers claim they dont actually follow the whole zip code thing, so i dont know. Supposedly its supposed to be to keep kids in their community, which doesnt always make sense i dont think (so, if family abused you, you should move down the street? Hmmm....), and even if in same zip code, child probably wouldnt be in same school anyway. And in the case of newborns/young kids, whats the point? Kids arent placed out of county (as far as i know) and all visits take place at the agency regardless of where family or child or foster family lives....so its not like they are trying to make it so that the birthfamily doesnt have to drive far for visits.

I live out in the suburbs, so i'm less likely to get the call as opposed to a foster family living in the city...but i just dont see the benefit of filling one home before even placing one child in another.


Katherine

[Polliwog]

I'm not sure how stressed our system is. I have an opening although they know that I'm not likely to fill it since it would require getting a bigger car. My fd's new social worker told me that she's only got 8 cases and that she's used to having 40 when she did the same work in California. She got all the previous social worker's cases so it's not because she's new.