anyone else compromise on DH's food, or on less-frequently eaten foods?

[caedmyn]

I'd really like to feed my DH good foods, but money is tight and he eats a lot of junk regardless of what I have available so...I've been buying some processed foods for him. Like today I bought him a big bag of regular tortilla chips instead of organic ones (they were half the price and he'll eat them in 4-5 sittings), and Best Foods mayo instead of Spectrum mayo (again almost half the cost...he doesn't like homemade mayo and I don't have the energy to make it ATM anyway). I've been buying him store brand cheddar cheese instead of Tillamook because it's about 2/3 of the price and he goes through a ton of it (raw milk cheese is totally out of the question), even though it has artifical food coloring (although truthfully I don't think it's any worse than the annatto that's added to the Tillamook which causes reactions in many people).

And I've been compromising some on food for myself, too, like buying Giradelli choc. chips instead of the health food store choc. chips (they're 1/2 of the price!), and buying Veganaise instead of trying to find the energy to make mayo.

Anyhow, I'm trying to find a balance between feeding DH decent food and trying to keep food costs down, and buying the best foods that are available for me & DD, and keeping food costs down. I feel like it's more important for me to have good food than DH since I'm pregnant and, well, I actually care about what I eat. Well, I try to care...sometimes it doesn't feel like it's going to make any difference what I eat so I end up eating more non-TF food than I should.

Does anyone else struggle with this? It'd be nice to know I'm not alone...

[Shazer]

You're not alone. DH doesn't care if he eats organic, natural, or loaded with pesticides. He loves processed foods and thinks a run to the border is a good everyday meal. He splurges on good foods at restaurants but everyday stuff is basically crap. I spend a great deal of money to feed DD and myself good, wholesome foods. DH eats whatever he wants. But I think the food budget is about equal between DH and DD/me because let's face it, processed and packaged food is very pricey, too.

[Junegoddess]

My dh loooooves crap food. He likes good food, too, but refuses to give up storebought bread, chips, hot dogs, bologna, and Jimmy Dean breakfast sandwiches. (Also refuses to give up the microwave.) I have improved his diet a great deal since we got married, so I try to just enjoy that... he has come so far. And it saves a good amount of money for him to NOT care what he eats, so... that's nice.

Sometimes it drives me crazy how he can just shrug it all off. Nutrition and good food are my life's work, my obsession. How can he not care? But, that's just it... it's MY obsession. Not his.

I'd like to get him eating better now, though, as I want to start TTC in about 3 months. But he doesn't know that yet... gotta find some quiet time for that discussion.

[WuWei]

I just found out that Vitacost.com sells some healthy food products, in addition to supplements. And their shipping is just $5 each order.

Apparently, they sell virgin coconut oil, gluten free snacks, etc. etc. We've found their supplement costs to be cheapest for what we purchase regularly. And often their prices are 2/3 or less, of the retail prices. You may want to check there for products you use regularly. I am going to check too.

The other thing that I've recently been noticing is that dh is more "reasonable" (for lack of a better word) when he eats nutrient dense foods. And long-term, I'd rather we don't end up spending more money on allopathic health care due to illness. Nor do I want him to suffer the effects of his ignorance, lol. (said with love)

ETA: I've also noticed that when I haven't been eating well, I'm more tired and less willing to make the extra effort. So, I find that if I focus on nourishing *me*, everything else is easier.

Pat

[tolovemercy]

yeah, same here. i think dh thinks i'm a nut.

i mean, i think he appreciates TF *theoretically*--he likes the idea of raw milk, soaked/sour/sprouted grains, LF veggies, etc.--but won't eat a sandwich on homemade bread (he would prefer wonderbread. i wonder, does he have any idea how many people would love to have fresh homemade bread available every day for sandwiches?)
He won't drink kefir, kombucha, or any other fermented drink aside from, well, beer. So yeah, I don't compromise on meals--what I make is what we eat (though I usually try to make it something that we all like), but he eats alot of crap for breakfast and lunch.

[crunchy_mama]

I make our meals to be good food and everyone eats the same. So he follows the same diet as us for lunch and supper. However, he eats breakfast 3-4 hrs before we get up. So, he gets his junky food. I am not his mother. I love him more than anything, but I cannot make him do anything. We cannot afford healthier convenience foods and I do not have the time or energy at this point to make ahead and prepare all these things for scratch for him. Trying to find recipes he would actually like etc. I have too much on my plate right now and keeping my sanity is a higher priority than babysitting my husband. I hope that when things settle down I will be able to do this and get him to commit more, but until then it is what it is.

[dogmom327]

Originally Posted by tolovemercy

i think dh thinks i'm a nut.

Maybe we should form a club? Yes, I will compromise for DH because he doesn't care and ultimately he's an adult capable of making his own decisions--however, I do try as much as possible to feed him the best food I can and even occasionally sneak things in (like kefir into his smoothie).

[quietserena]

Yup mine thinks I'm somewhat of a nut too. And he still does have soda and candy and such. I think it's hard to get snacks unless you pack them with you and he's adamant he will not be carrying a sack lunch with him...

However, I have caught him telling *other* people about dangers of hydrogenated oils and food coloring. : And recommending breastfeeding.. which I suspect is weird in many ways...

[riaketty]

Actually, here, it's the reverse.

DH wants to grow our own wheat, get our own cow, eat organic, use cane for sugar, etc etc. I, on the other hand, am perfectly happy with my white sugar, although I am in the process of switching to whole wheat flour.

But then, I was raised on boxed foods and DH was raised on homemade jellies and fresh baked bread, etc. So, that may be why.

Also, DH doesn't do the finances, I do... so I see how much some of this stuff costs and he doesn't. I wish we could eat completely TF and organic, but, well, it's expensive! One step at a time..

Although we did get half a gallon on low-temp pasturized, non-homogenized, organic milk... and then got 'regular' crap milk again. I'm hooked... Iwant the good stuff back, this crap tastes like, well, crap!

[Goimir]

For me, it's a cost issue. I'd love to eat all organic free-range whole grain goodness, but with the volume of food that I need, it's cost prohibitive. I'll feed the DW and DD good stuff, and try to eat "eh, not quite so bad" stuff.

We don't do separate dinners, but for meals that I eat away from home, I might have a pork-roll or liverwurst sandwich.

if you don't know what pork roll is, let's say that nothing that comes out of Trenton, NJ can be completely understood.

[Metasequoia]

Originally Posted by quietserena

Yup mine thinks I'm somewhat of a nut too. And he still does have soda and candy and such. I think it's hard to get snacks unless you pack them with you and he's adamant he will not be carrying a sack lunch with him...

However, I have caught him telling *other* people about dangers of hydrogenated oils and food coloring. : And recommending breastfeeding.. which I suspect is weird in many ways...

I don't have one anymore but I still see him because of the kids. He always makes snide remarks about my obsession with TF but then I hear him preaching the same stuff to his brothers & nieces, nephews, etc - he gets it mostly right but will sometimes embellish a bit.

Now he's the same way about extended bfing & non-circing. He's had me contact a couple of his nieces re: circing & we've saved a couple of foreskins!

But anyway, back to the food, yea - he eats horribly, so even when we were together, I wouldn't use the raw butter on him because his next meal would be at the Pizza Stop or Burger King.

[Fi'sMom]

I can't believe I stumbled upon this discussion! My marriage is not great because of this very issue! I have worked at a health food store for 10 years now and so have always gotten a great discount on my food. My husband and I have been married 3 years, and it's been tough, because we're both so set in our own "food ways." But he doesn't grocery shop for food he likes... He just eats out! All he'll eat at home is cereal and a few other things here and there now and then. But it sucks, because we rarely eat meals together. It's comforting to know that I'm not totally alone in this!

[tubulidentata2]

I do, too! Thankfully, DH wants whole foods, but doesn't care about organic or traditional foods. So he eats processed cereal and other stuff.

[nicolelynn]

Originally Posted by Junegoddess

My dh loooooves crap food. He likes good food, too, but refuses to give up storebought bread, chips, hot dogs, bologna, and Jimmy Dean breakfast sandwiches. l

OMG my DH would eat Jimmy Dean breakfast sandwiches every day still (he used to when we first got married) if I let him!

Luckily DH is pretty much on board with TF but I have to make several compromises. He will not touch sprouted grain tortillas (too dry he says) so I buy regular wheat or spelt ones (with palm kernel or sunflower oil, not soy or corn oil). But we only use them once per week or so I figure it's ok. At least he eats sprouted grain bread ok.

He's not fond of soup so it's hard to get bone broth in him no matter how much I whine how good it is for him. If it is a blended soup he can handle it sometimes, so I make those when I can.

I also keep cereal on hand, but at least he only eats that once a week or so for an evening snack- he eats the nutritious breakfasts I make for him. And it's "organic" cereal, not Captain Crunch or anything.

He also does not like yogurt with honey, maple syrup or fruit mixed in, he likes the little cups. He doesn't like the Brown Cow ones either because they have honey in them and he said it tastes too strong. So I buy TJ brand whole milk yogurt cups with some sugar in them. I figure with some probiotics, vitamin D, etc it's a better mid morning snack at work than him caving into the donuts or bagels someone brings in.

And finally, he does influence me to cave in once or twice per week to walk to the store with him and get Ben and Jerry's as well .

[spughy]

My DH eats what he's given at home, with nary a complaint 'cause I'm a good cook And he's pretty good at not eating crap out of the house, except occasionally if he has to go somewhere early in the morning he'll get a McDonald's breakfast. His mom, who lives in the same city, likes to have him & DD over for dinner a lot though and she is a not-so-keen cook and buys lots of packaged crap... although usually for actual dinner she cooks decent, if plain stuff. It mostly makes DH appreciate my cooking more, because I am quite fond of the butter and bacon fat and that makes food taste SOOOO much better. In fact, DH thought he hated cabbage, until I fed him MY cabbage and suddenly he loves hit. Hee.

He's not completely on board with the raw milk, although he'll put it in his tea if there's nothing else, and he likes that DD gets it, but he's just not a straight milk drinker. For the past 3 days he's been complaining about the kimchee smells wafting from the pantry. But overall, he's pretty accommodating with the food thing, and frequently expresses appreciation for all that I do in that realm.

[bluey]

Dp eats whatever is in the house, he's all about eating real food. He's a big snacker though, especially at night, so when I go shopping I will buy him a bag of chips- not even good ones, he likes All-dressed flavour (gag) and a bottle of ranch dressing and he's good to go. That's pretty much all he asks. I'm cool with that. He eats a lot of things now that he never would have before, even things he apparently "hates" because according to his mom he's a "picky"eater.